In today's episode, we're talking about 5 things that secure couples do really well to build safety, intimacy and connection in their relationships. We'll cover: raising important issues and knowing when to let things goprioritising connection, play and intimacyvalidating each other's experience rather than needing to be rightbalancing togetherness and separatenessengaging in meaningful repair when things go awry⭐️ Get my FREE masterclass, Where Anxious Avoidant Couples Go Wrong ⭐️ Further...

In today's episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel and we're answering your questions about how we've navigated aspects of the anxious-avoidant dynamic in our relationship.  We talk about: doing "the work" individually and as a couplehow we've built trust and safety over timehow we manage conflict and have hard conversationsFurther Links & Resources Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment Black Friday Sale Join my new course, Secure Together Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up...

In today's episode, we're talking all about stress and the profound impact it can have on our relationships. We live in a world where stress is chronic and constant - and not only does that spell trouble for our health and wellbeing, but it can leave us feeling lonely, resentful and disconnected in our partnerships.  We'll cover: how stress can exacerbate existing attachment dynamicswhy we aren't designed for chronic stress and what it does to ushow our nervous system's stress response...

In today's episode, we're talking about what to do when your partner doesn't want to work on the relationship. This is an incredibly common dynamic, to have one partner who wants to actively work on things and another partner who is more resistant (which can often overlap with anxious-avoidant dynamics). We'll cover: why your partner might be feeling resistant to doing "the work"how different people make meaning out of needing to work on a relationshipways to dismantle fear stories your...

In today's episode, we're talking all about trust & trustworthiness. Trust is something that many people struggle with, oftentimes as a direct result of past experiences where trust has been breached. And as we'll discuss in today's conversation, trust is about so much more than honesty. My hope is that you'll walk away from today's episode with greater clarity about why you might struggle with trust, and the steps you can take to remediate this in your relationships.  We'll cover: the...

In today's episode, we're exploring healthy interdependency. Interdependency is often cited as a key trait of secure functioning relationships, and yet many of us lack a clear picture of what healthy interdependency actually looks and feels like - especially if you have a history of insecure attachment patterns. We'll cover: the spectrum from codependency to hyper-independence interdependency as a healthy middle groundhow different attachment styles relate to codependency, independence and...

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts around anxious attachment & open relationships. While not being my personal experience, this is an area I receive a lot of requests and questions around, as various non-monogamous relationship structures grow in popularity.  We'll cover: common struggles of anxious attachment and how they might show up in an open relationship structurethe importance of having a strong relationship to self when exploring open relationshipscommunication,...

You've probably heard about the 5 Love Languages as pioneered by Gary Chapman. In this episode, I’ll share how to navigate the very common situation of having different love languages to your partner. We'll also cover how love languages interface with anxious-avoidant dynamics, and offer insights and practical tools on how you can share your love language with your partner so they can understand how to love you the way you want to be loved (and vice versa)! We’ll cover: The 5 love languages:...

Mismatched libido in a relationship is a challenge that a lot of couples face. In today’s episode, I’ll be answering a listener's question of how to navigate mismatched libido in a relationship, particularly in an anxious-avoidant dynamic. I’ll guide you on strategies to break the anxious-avoidant spiral, by initiating open dialogue and finding a middle ground between both partners. We’ll cover: Why it's unrealistic to expect your libidos to be in sync all the timeHow anxious and avoidant...

Retroactive jealousy is one that focuses on the past, fixating on other partners or stages in your partner's lives and being threatened by it. In today’s conversation, I’ll dive into how such jealousy stirs immense stress, but more importantly, we share insights into building healthier, more resilient relationships. We'll cover: Impacting our self worthLooking for skeletons and reasons to not trustIf you should share the jealousy with your partnerKeeping yourself in an unhealthy...

With societal pressures and a ticking clock, being newly single in your mid-30s can be challenging. In today’s episode, I want to share advice on navigating being newly single and the mindset for dating, and honouring the desires you have without feeling hopeless or overwhelmed. We'll cover: Grieving a future you thought you would haveThe opportunity for reframeComparisons to other people’s livesCreating a full and vibrant life for yourself Use the code PHOENIX for $150 off the Higher Love...

As an anxiously attached person, space in a relationship can sometimes feel like the biggest threat. In today’s episode, I’m sharing my own experience with this and advice on how you can consciously choose space and separateness to foster greater intimacy in your relationship, especially in a time where you may feel more drawn to stay connected. We'll cover: Wanting to close the gap and be closerAdvice for how to reset and nurture separateness Things to do to focus on your own self-trust...

Looking out for someone who you care for that is going through a hard time is a challenge most of us will have to face in our lifetimes. But feelings of threat to the relationship, especially as an anxious attached person may come up in these times, and I want to help you navigate through these while prioritising your wellbeing, and not overstepping. We'll cover: Monitoring your “fixing” the situationWays to support someone and yourselfHow you can be a balanced supportive personNothing...

In today's episode, I'm answering your questions on the topic of break-ups. Break-ups are a universally challenging experience, and an area that I receive a lot of questions on. So today I'm answering your questions on: what is a no-contact period and how best to implement it?when is it a good idea to reconcile with an ex?how to deal with guilt around knowing that I need to break up with someone but worrying about hurting them?Further Links & Resources Save $150 on my Higher Love...

In today’s episode, we’re exploring long-distance relationships. Despite the old adage of “absence makes the heart grow fonder”, many people tend to really struggle with long-distance relationship structures.  We’ll cover: Why it’s normal and natural to struggle with long-distanceHow attachment dynamics can exacerbate long-distance challengesTips for maintaining connection while apartFurther Links & Resources Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me...

In today’s episode, I’m answering a listener’s question on how to stop taking things so personally. This is something a lot of us struggle with, and can lead us to internalise others’ behaviour in ways that damage our self-esteem and exacerbate our suffering.  We’ll cover: Why you might take things personally The link between people pleasing and taking things personallyHow to approach these situations differently Further Links & Resources Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course...

In today’s episode, we’re talking all about attachment styles and break-ups. While of course, break-ups are messy, personal and far from formulaic, there are undeniably certain themes in how our break-ups feel that can be traced to our attachment patterns. Understanding the ways in which attachment drives can shape how we relate to and experience break-ups is essential in finding greater compassion for our own experience, and depersonalising someone else’s behaviour to the extent that...

Does ghosting leave you feeling anxious, confused, and questioning your self-worth? If so, you’re not alone.  Today, we're diving deep into this all-too-common dating phenomenon. We'll explore  why ghosting occurs, the common impacts it has on self-esteem, and how to give yourself the closure and peace you desire.  Further Links & Resources Sign up for my upcoming masterclass on Building Trust Follow me on Youtube Download the free guide: Attachment 101 Follow me on Instagram:...

In today's episode, we're diving deep on the abandonment wound - a fear that lies at the heart of many insecure attachment patterns and relational dynamics. A fear of abandonment can show up in so many ways, and can keep us from experiencing relationships in a way that feels trusting, safe and secure.  We'll cover: how it feels to fear abandonment in your relationshipdifferent forms of abandonment (physical, emotional)relational behaviours that a fear of abandonment can lead tothe link...

In today’s episode, we’re talking all about discomfort — specifically, why it’s so essential in any healing journey to reframe the way we approach and relate to getting uncomfortable.  Most of us recoil at the first sign of discomfort, preferring to stay squarely within the domain of what we know and can control. But this often means we’re confining ourselves to a very limited experience of what’s possible in our lives.  We’ll cover: Why we tend to gravitate towards what is familiar and...

Have you ever wondered why your relationship struggles persist, even when you love each other and have tried and tried to make it work? In today's episode, I'm sharing three essential ingredients to make a relationship work. These are fundamental pillars of healthy, lasting partnership - and yet, for a lot of people, one or more of these puzzle pieces are missing.  We'll cover: the importance of structural compatibility (ie, wanting the same thing)being willing to invest in the relationship...

Anxious attachment can be incredibly exhausting - but it doesn't have to govern your future.  And in today's episode, I'm going to be laying out the path to healing anxious attachment, walking you through the core pillars of my methodology. We'll discuss the importance of self-regulation and how we can start to build self-trust and safety from within rather than depending solely on a partner to make us feel secure.  We'll also delve deep into the core beliefs that drive anxious attachment,...

Have you ever wondered why it can be so challenging to recover from toxic relationships? Why the drama and unpredictability leave you feeling more disoriented and overwhelmed than relieved? In today's episode, I'm here to guide you through this complex terrain. We'll unravel the dynamics of such relationships and expose the confusion, grief, and shame that often accompany them.  It's a hard road, but I'm here to help you navigate through it. We'll dig into practical tools to assist you in...

Unless you're a true outlier, there's a pretty good chance you've had some experience with jealousy.  And yet, as universal as it is, jealousy is possibly one of the most maligned emotions we can have.  In today's episode, join me on a journey to understand this complex emotion better and explore ways to transform it into a tool for strengthening relationships. We'll explore the various expressions of jealousy, ranging from the healthy to the unhealthy, and shed light on why it emerges,...

Ever been caught in that tricky situation of setting boundaries with an ex? Navigating this territory can be a daunting task at the best of times, and especially so when co-parenting or shared responsibilities are at play.   In today's episode, I'll be sharing some strategies for establishing and upholding boundaries with ex-partners that allow you to prioritise your wellbeing. I'll also share some tips on how to handle emotions that may surface during interactions with an ex, how to manage...