In today's episode, we’re diving into what avoidant partner deactivation looks like and how you can respond to this experience in a way that protects your emotional wellbeing and prevents further spiralling and disconnection. We’ll explore the subtle ways avoidant partners create distance—whether emotionally, physically, or in their communication—and how these behaviours stem from their attachment patterns rather than a lack of care or love. Importantly, we’ll talk about what you can do ...

In today's episode, we're talking all about validation — and specifically, why it is so essential for anxiously attached people in building more security within themselves and in their relationships. Most anxiously attached people are accustomed to feeling chronically invalidated (in part because they tend to do this to themselves), always wondering if they are too much, too needy, too sensitive, too paranoid, and so on. This can lead to over-reliance on a partner or others external to u...

In today's episode, we're talking all about the abandonment wound — and specifically, five scenarios that might unexpectedly trigger your fears and insecurities around abandonment. When we think about the fear of abandonment, we often imagine scenarios where someone physically leaves us—maybe a breakup or a loved one walking out the door. But the truth is, this fear can manifest in much more subtle and unexpected ways, especially for those of us with anxious attachment patterns.We'll cover:ho...

In this episode, we dive into the growing issue of phone usage and its impact on relationship satisfaction, especially when one partner feels neglected, ignored and frustrated by the other's screen time. We explore why constant phone use can feel so personal, discuss strategies for approaching the topic constructively, and offer practical ways to set digital boundaries together. If you’re struggling with a partner’s phone habits, this episode will give you tools to foster more connection and ...

In this episode, we're exploring the common and very human experience of hoping an ex will come back after a break-up, saying they've changed their mind and want to reconcile. Whether you were left unexpectedly or the break-up was a long time coming, the hope that an ex will realise their mistake and come back can be powerful and all-consuming. I'll share some mindset reframes and tools to relate to your hoping differently, so you can validate yourself while still moving forward in a directio...

In this episode, we’re diving into how fearful avoidant attachment (also known as disorganised attachment) plays out in relationships. If you identify with this attachment style, you might notice certain patterns in your relationships that feel confusing or contradictory.Key points include:Feelings of instability in relationships: Many with fearful avoidant attachment feel fine when single, but painful emotions surface in relationships, often leading to blaming their partner.Impact of partner...

In today’s episode, we’re talking about how to navigate emotional triggers in a healthy and constructive way. Whether it’s a comment, an argument, or even an unexpected event, triggers can send us into emotional overdrive, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from ourselves. But with the right tools, you can slow down the spiral and regain control over your emotions.I’ll guide you through a simple, four-step process to help you work through triggers in real time. We’ll explore how ...

How do you know if you're ready for a relationship? Perhaps you've asked yourself this question — and in today's episode, that's what we're exploring. While I don't believe we ever reach some objective place of being "healed enough" to enter a relationship, I do believe there are certain indicators we can look out for — signs that we're in a strong place mentally and emotionally, which will set us up for the best possible chance at finding and building a healthy partnership.Upcoming Events ...

In this episode, we’re tackling the challenging topic of obsessive thinking about someone and how to break free from that mental loop that causes suffering. We’ll explore different approaches, including Byron Katie’s The Work as a top-down method for challenging your thoughts, somatic tools to discharge anxiety from the body as a bottom-up approach, as well as the broader work of addressing the insecurities and wounds that often fuel obsessive thinking.By addressing your thoughts, calming you...

In this episode, we’re exploring three key things you’ll likely notice when you experience your first truly healthy relationship. While healthy relationships are often idealised, they still come with their own challenges. We’ll discuss how they invite vulnerability, reveal where we may have been hiding behind dysfunction, and show us that even secure partners can be imperfect. Finally, we’ll talk about how conflict in a healthy relationship doesn’t disappear, but it feels safer and more ...

In this episode, we’re diving into the how anxious and avoidant attachment styles can influence sexual relationships. Understanding these differences can be crucial for navigating intimacy in your relationship, whether you identify with one of these attachment styles or are in a relationship with someone who does. We’ll cover five key differences in how anxious and avoidant attachment styles experience and approach sex.Emphasis on Emotional vs Physical IntimacyAnxiously attached individu...

In today's episode, we're diving into fearful avoidant (AKA disorganised) attachment and how it differs from anxious attachment. We’ll explore how both types are driven by a fear of abandonment and intense emotions, yet differ in their approaches to intimacy, conflict resolution, and communication. Whether you identify with one of these attachment styles or are in a relationship with someone who does, this episode will give you valuable insights into the dynamics at play and how to ...

In today's episode, we’re exploring the common patterns and beliefs that lead people into situationships — those ambiguous, frustrating "almost-relationships" that never quite become something more. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a situationship and wondered why it keeps happening, this episode is for you. We'll dive into four key reasons why you might be attracting these kinds of connections and how to start breaking free from the cycle. Specifically, we'll cover:how a fear of r...

This week, we're talking all about how avoidant attached people can experience conflict in a healthier, more productive way. I'll be sharing three tips that will allow you to feel more connected, grounded and in control in the way you approach conflict in your relationship. Further Links & Resources BYRON BAY RETREAT: Join the waitlist Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Sav...

In today's episode, I'm sharing three tips for anxiously attached people to improve the way they approach and experience conflict. We cover things like slowing down and saying less, keeping things to one issue, and knowing when to leave the conversation and let things go. Be sure to tune in next week for Part 2 where we cover tips for avoidantly attached people in conflict!Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes &a...

In today's episode, I'm sharing with you some wisdom from three of my favourite writers and teachers on life, love and relationships. These quotes, from authors James Clear, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Brene Brown, have been hugely formative for me in my own journey and I hope you love them as much as I do. Further Links & Resources Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together...

In today's episode, we're talking about boundaries. Boundary setting is one of those areas that we hear about so much in the personal development world, and yet bridging the gap between theory and practice remains a challenge for most of the folks that I work with (particularly those with an anxious attachment style). We'll cover:why boundary setting is so hard for people with insecure attachment patternshow anxious and avoidant attachment styles differ in boundary settingthe truth about...

In today's episode, I'm sharing three life lessons that I wish I'd learned sooner. These are around the theme of self-awareness, personal responsibility and consciously creating the life that we want for ourselves. Last chance to join The Secure Self Challenge!Further Links & Resources Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $15...

In today's episode, we're tackling the pervasive issue of resentment in relationships. We explore why resentment occurs, its impact on relationships, and how to address and resolve these feelings. We cover:what resentment signals to us about ourselveswhy certain people are more prone to resentmentthe link between resentment and poor boundaries, suppression of needs and avoiding conflicthow we can shift out of victimhood and take responsibility for our part in a dynamic📣📣 Healing Anxious ...

In today's episode, we're unpacking five traits that everybody should be looking for in a prospective partner. It's so easy when dating to become swept up in a connection and inadvertently overlook some of the fundamental attributes we should all be seeking in a relationship. The five traits we discuss in this episode are:emotional self-awarenessintegrity and trustworthinessconsistency, reliability and dependabilityhumour and playfulnesskindnessHealing Anxious Attachment is relaunching s...

Have you ever found yourself seeking out relationship advice online only to be bombarded with pages of seemingly conflicting and contradictory opinions? If so, you're not alone - and today's episode is for you. I'm going to be sharing 5 examples of contradictory relationship advice that you may have encountered and struggled to make sense of, so that you can understand the nuances and practise discernment in finding the right way forward for you.We cover:going after a life you love AND learni...

In today's episode, I'm unpacking three common pain points that virtually all anxious-avoidant couples will encounter at some point in their relationship. We'll talk about why these particular fights are so common, and what they're really about - so you can approach them next time with more empathy and understanding, and avoid the disconnection and hurt that comes with the typical anxious-avoidant trap. Secure Together Course (save 50% with code HEYBABY): secure-together.com&nb...

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on why you might struggle to let go of someone after a break-up - especially in circumstances where you logically know that they were "bad" for you. This is such a common experience, particularly for those with anxious attachment - feeling pulled in two different directions between what you know is best vs what your body and attachment system is urging you to do.We cover:the importance of managing expectations after a break-upwhy it's normal...

In today's episode, we're exploring the tension between the conflicting needs for time together and time apart that can so often become a source of friction in anxious-avoidant dynamics. Specifically, I'm sharing a simple but very effective tip that will both reduce separation anxiety for the anxious partner, and increase the avoidant partner's comfort with time spent together, creating a win-win for both partners and reducing the likelihood of repeated ruptures. Further Links...