"That damned voice was going round and round in my head: 'Why can't you do this? Plenty of other mothers manage to defrost chicken without burning down the house. And sure, they get angry at their kids but they don't lash out.'" - "Hanna" holds it together after the birth of her first child, but when a second arrives, hormonal swings, relationship stresses and past traumas push her to the brink of catastrophe. * Content warning: Strong language; discussion of suicide. * If you want to talk to a trained counsellor, call or text for free to 1737. * More info on post-natal depression at tinyurl.com/pnd-info * www.stuff.co.nz/outofmymind