Needs Improvement
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“I don’t think there’s a point to leaving a negative review if it doesn’t come with actionable critique, but if I’m going to rate this lowly I want to have an explanation. If you the creator read your reviews, my intention is not to be upsetting. None of what I’m saying is to insult you, just to offer suggestions at improvement
Put down the thesaurus. When you’re writing first person accounts, they need to sound the way real people speak. Nobody uses words like “palpitations” when describing their trauma
Vary your speaking tone. An acting tip I’ve heard is to double space your script and then write down how the character feels above each line. Right now, there’s no vocal variation, it’s all the same informative/scared. Slowly add tension to your voice, and the audience will feel it
Tone down background sound effects. Not every action needs a stock footage sound accompanying it. The random screams and scare chords feel like a good example of telling, instead of showing. Your audience shouldn’t need a scream to tell them that something you just said was scary, they should already be feeling it. Also, a lot of the background noise is a bit loud, consider reducing its volume
Show, don’t tell. There’s a lot of spelling things out, which doesn’t work in most writing but especially not in horror
Good horror is in the relatability. When you’re writing horror in the first person, make sure your protagonist has some aspect of themselves that ties them to the audience, some quality that’s more or less universal. Of the three episodes I’ve listened to (Hiders, Trickster, and Flesh Melding), all of them are from the POV of just some guy, with no real relatable traits, besides some stock tropes. It feels like a mannequin talking, and I’m not afraid of what happens to a mannequin
The horror in the three episodes I’ve listened to ultimately comes from a fear of pain. Each episode describes something unstoppable that wants to hurt people. And there’s so much more to horror outside of that. Monsters don’t need to be creepy gory things, or spindly slender men, or razor demons to be scary. Death by claw can sometimes be a blessing when survival means dealing with your trauma. Graphic descriptions only go so far, what’s really scary is writing that puts the listener in the character’s shoes, that makes them feel like they’re there, that this could happen to them, that they’ve experienced things like this before. Just some things to consider when writing, maybe these are concepts explored in any of the episodes from 3-59, but I don’t think I’ll be listening further.
Ultimately, the writing style feels a bit… desperate. A bit too much like a standup comic begging you to laugh. Trust in your writing, trust in your scenarios, and you won’t need to beg the audience to be scared along with you”
coyoteTale via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
02/13/24
More reviews of Redwood Bureau
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“I was immersed with the story telling and sound effects that it got me all excited and imaginative! I can see this podcast to have hundreds thousands of listeners!”
Hotmess777 via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
12/02/21
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“I love DP so much, who in the world has the audacity to give it one star.”
zamora.christopher.w via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
05/10/22
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