The mental health benefits of running are numerous, yet talking directly about depression is often pushed to the side in running circles. But that's not how #RunPainFree rolls. In today's episode, Coach Jessica Marie Rose Leggio shines a spotlight on award-winning author Nita Sweeney. She shares her intimate story on how depression affected her and how running brought her to a better place. Nita's story is harrowing, authentic, relatable, and we hope everyone out there can glean a lesson or two from Nita's words of wisdom.  #RunPainFree: Our obligatory question: What is your running story?  Nita Sweeney: I'd had an awful year where a whole bunch of people died, to the point that I was not just glued to the sofa; I was almost under it. I have chronic depression, bipolar and bipolar two, which often manifests as depression. So, I was on the sofa, scrolling through social media, and saw a post from a high school friend. She was following a running plan. She said, 'call me crazy, but this running is getting to be fun.' My immediate thought was, you have got to be joking! So, I followed her progress as her post had planted a seed in the back of my mind. I went to the website, and it said as a starting point, do 60 seconds of jogging. I'd tried many things, and my friend posted her progress, so I thought, why not?  I was terrified people would laugh at me, so I decided to take our dog for my first run so the neighbors would think I was exercising him. I took a digital microwave timer and headed to a hidden ravine, and jogged for 60 seconds. To my surprise, I didn't die! I'd run earlier in my life, but it was just sprinting to lose weight. There was no joy in it; there was no peace, there was no sense of accomplishment. It was just how many calories did I burn? Starting running wasn't a heroic act; it was a mere act of desperation. I was just at the end of my proverbial rope, and I was at a place where I had to do something, or I was going to end up back in the psych ward.   #RunPainFree: We all have negative self-talk and insecurities. Whether someone admits to it outwardly is irrelevant. The only person you have to admit it to truly is yourself.  When did you realize it was more than just negative self-talk?  Nita Sweeney: I'd practiced law for about ten years. I was proud of my work, but I found myself in a place where I couldn't do my job. I went to a psychologist, and she said to me, do you realize how hard you're treating yourself, how critically you're speaking to yourself. I knew that I was different from many people. But I didn't realize that it was possibly diagnoseable. She also told me that practicing law was the worst case of job fit she had seen in over 20 years. I was so out of touch with myself; I had this critical voice that said, 'if you were better, you'd really love this job.' My psych told me that type of thinking was toxic.  But taking up running wasn't the linear path of progress; it was more like whack-a-mole. The voice pops up, you hit it, and you think you've got it. But oh no, here it is over here and over here and here. Running, in the beginning, was just a new place for my depression to voice itself. It took time to deal with my negative self-talk when running. #RunPainFree: What tools did you use to discourage the wrong voices, or did a cheerful voice overshadow them eventually? Nita Sweeney: I was using Map My Run, and at the end of each session, it would ask me how I felt. I may have been slow, my form may not have been great, or my left ankle may have niggled, all that stuff. No matter how critical my thinking was that day, I would start the run journal with 'way to go Nita, good job!' At first, it felt kind of fake. But eventually, it carried over to the rest of my life, and especially on the run. In any new situation, at first, I get that critical voice. But eventually, I'll hear a wh