I’ve been thinking a lot about individual and collective shadow. How do we keep our hearts open during dark times? We all must become closely acquainted with our shadow or dark side.  Each of us has a dual nature: we are light (conscious) and dark (unconscious). The dark side of our personality—the “other,” the shadow side—is made up of what we think is our primitive, primal, negative impulses—our “existential kink.” Our existential kink also drives the dark or negative repeating patterns in our life: always choosing the abusive partner or boss, settling for less, thinking that we’re undeserving, not worthy. But it also is the source of our greatest power. I do a deep dive into Carolyn Elliot’s book, Existential Kink, which offers a truth-telling guide for bringing our shadow into the light. Inviting us to make conscious the unconscious, Elliott asks us to own the subconscious pleasure we get from the stuck, painful patterns of our existence.