If you want to learn to have a successful relationship, you need to start taking responsibility for everything. You can only control what you do, not what anyone else does — not even your romantic partner.

Remember: good relationships don’t fall out of the sky. Good relationships require growth, work, and change. Here are just 7 habits of a successful relationship.

We need to reward hard discussions, not punish them; we need to value our honesty over our partner’s comfort; and we need to remind ourselves that “easy” is not the goal. The goal is depth.