Ari and Andrew talk about relationships, hierarchy, and understanding our own desire.  Be sure to catch the Patreon bonus on how to be present. If you aren't already supporting the Patreon consider how much you have listened and learned and go sign up here.   If you want more of this in your life you can subscribe by RSS , iTunes, Stitcher, or email.You can book time with Andrew through his site here.  You can find Ari here. Andrew is here.  Thanks as always for supporting the podcast!   Transcription.  (request) If you are reading the transcript please let me know how it is. I'm trying a new service.  Andrew McGregor   folks welcome to the podcast Patreon this material is only for people who are supporting it. So please do me a favor of not sharing it around however if you are enjoying it certainly recommend to your friends so on that they can come find all this goodness here, including this episode and all the backup so it's going forward. So in the episode that Ray and I just recorded we talked a lot about being present, you know being in the moment and the way in which that opens up a lot of things in terms of for who we are being clear about what we desire, you know, and so much more freely. And so I thought maybe in this you know, mini episode here that Ari and I might talk a bit about how do we accomplish that thing, right? Sounds really easy. Just Just be pressing. Right? Just Just do that right now. Like you know, are you fully present Listen to this, you know, maybe you are maybe you're not my level of podcasts attention is never 100% Yeah, so but, you know, I want to I want to put to you, you know, how do you how do you press it? What do you what do you do to get there? Ari   And so I think on moments, a moment basis, something that I've come to work with a lot is my breath, because I'm one of those people that will notice I'm literally not breathing. So that's always a good check in for me to just be like, Am I breathing and then if I'm not start a little scaling a little wider than that. During the winter months, marijuana is like a medicine that helps me a lot like because of my sad seasonal affective disorder, and how overwhelming those months can be. So plant medicine doesn't have to be weed. There's lots of other plant medicines, but um, that helps me to be present, and helps me to not have a lot of buildup, or suppression or repression, which I think is what for me keeps me from being present most of the time, is because I'm usually trying to, like, control some kind of expression or some kind of emotion or some kind of whatever. Andrew McGregor   I think that's really important. Actually. I'm gonna jump in here for a second, please. Because it kind of ties into one of the things that I was thinking about bringing up is this, you know, what, what is it that needs to speak needs to be said if it wants to emerge in that moment, right? And, and learning how to notice that pay attention to that cue into that, you know, through whatever, as opposed to sort of when we talk to the Episode of a discipline right now is the moment in which I will be present. So all of these things will get out of the way. It's like, Well, no, maybe that one needs to speak, right? Maybe this element needs to. And especially, you know, we're going to talk about, you know, being presence sexually with people and intimately with people. You know, if there are things in that relationship that need to be said, making the space to say there's so that then presence can emerge, they're free of that, as opposed to trying to manage the presence by keeping that thing tucked to the side, you know, so, Ari   yeah, I love that. Like, sometimes the question is what's in the way of presence and sometimes it's more about what's in the way is what you need to be present to. Andrew McGregor   Yeah, what's the road to it? Right. Ari