This week's episode is I Love You to Death (1989). Inspired by a true story, philanderer and Italian stereotype Joey Boca (Kevin Kline) cannot keep the sausage in his pants, breaking the heart of his dedicated wife Rosalie (Tracy Ullman). Thus a murder plot is hatched, involving Rosalie, her mother, Devo (River Pheonix), and our dude, Keanu, as a heroin addict looking to raise some drug money. This one goes hard on Italians, indomitable creatures of sauce-based appetites. So be warned. Xoxox

It's 1989 and we're talking Parenthood, the Ron Howard dramedy that arguably birthed Steve Martin's current reputation as suburban America's humorously exasperated white-haired dad. Gil (Martin) is just trying to be the best dad he can be, but his overwrought, neurotic son is throwing a wrench into the works of his fatherly self-image. Meanwhile, a satellite of other stories involving the members of his multigenerational family orbits Gil's own, tackling a surprising number of issues related...

Y'all were waiting for it: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989). We're joined by special guest Griffin Newman (The Tick) as a proselytizer for all things Bill and Ted. Two San Dimas simpletons must time travel to avoid flunking their history exams or else be separated, thus destroying any chance for the future utopia they engender via their apparently transcendent music as rock group Wyld Stallions, an as yet a purely aspirational venture. But most of you dudes already knew that. Party...

This week: we enter the lascivious intrigue-laden world of 18th century French aristocracy with Dangerous Liaisons (1988). Bored socialites John Malkovich and Glenn Close enact psychosexual revenge on various friends and family in an attempt to navigate the love and repulsion they feel for one another. Our dude Keanu plays an innocent fresh-faced music teacher  and gets into a duel. Naturally everyone gets their comeuppance. Plus we read a negative iTunes review of the show which we...

This week, Keanu gets an extremely dumb haircut and decides to kidnap his coal-mining dad (Fred Ward) in 1988’s The Prince of Pennsylvania. Patrick, Jake, and Matt try to diagnose where this movie went wrong, while also covering important topics like Jake’s brief childhood modern dance career, the Torpeys’ recent trip to Croatia, and the Rugrats and Wild Thornberries movies.

This week, Patrick, Jake, and Matt do their best to keep the mood light while discussing 1988's Permanent Record, a movie that deals with the difficult subject of teen suicide. Keanu is Chris, the wacky best friend who gets thrust into the lead role when David (Alan Boyce) tragically takes his own life. This episode tries to make sense of a movie that veers from wacky comedy to searing drama while also answering questions like: why isn't podcast pornography a thing? What jobs did Matt work in...

This week it's 1988's The Night Before.  Winston Connelly (Keanu) wakes up in an alley wearing a dirty tuxedo and must recollect how he got there, and where the heck is his prom date, Tara Mitchell (Lori Loughlin)?!! AND the police chief is her DAD?!!! Who's Tito?? Honestly this is a pretty solid 80s flick with a very high energy turn from Keanu and a cameo by George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic, bearing a classic lesson for the era: if you're a horny nerd, put yourself and your crush in...

This week: part 4 of the Toy Quartet. The toys have learned to die, what's left but to learn how to live? Our boy is Canadian action figure Duke Caboom, and the tragicomic figure of Forky sparks a theological discussion. Choose life.

This week: we warp forward to 2019 again to cover the Netflix original romantic comedy Always Be My Maybe, starring Ali Wong and Randall Park. Childhood friends Sasha (Wong) and Marcus (Park) have not spoken to each other since some friend-ruiningly awkward, post-funeral car sex as teenagers. Now adults, their lives having radically diverged, and they meet again to fulfill their romcom destinies. It's a genre film that competently runs its paces, but the lynchpin is KEANU, playing against...

This week: Keanu is in this movie for like a collective minute and a half, so we HAD to watch 1986's intensely homoerotic "Youngblood." Hunks and hockey and following your dreams is the formula here, another disappointingly disjointed attempt at a teen sports movie. I mean, at least there're some highly symmetrical heavy hitters in here: Keanu, Patrick Swayze and (a very stilted) Rob Lowe as the titular Dean Youngblood, along with Cynthia Gibb. Most importantly, however, is that this film...

This week: part 2 in what will be known henceforth as "The 1986 Trilogy," the surprisingly solid and underseen River's Edge. Inspired in part by the 1981 murder of Marcy Renee Conrad, it tells a tale of anomie and moral turpitude among a group of teens in northern California. Keanu plays Matt, looking appropriately scuzzy. Dennis Hopper is in it, and there's a pretty memorable turn from Crispin Glover which the hosts are divided on liking. We all agree Tim needs a good punch in the face though. 

This week: we warp back in time to cover 1986's Flying, AKA Dream to Believe, AKA Teenage Dream, wherein young gymnastics hopeful Robin (Olivia d'Abo) tries to make her local team despite a prior knee injury and living in dreary Buffalo, NY! Our boy is in a kind of 'Ducky' role here, the ever supportive dude who it's so obvious is right for Robin. This one's kind of all over the shop folks, like a leering John Hughes doing Flashdance type of thing.

 This week, Patrick, Jake, and Matt reach the end of the John Wick trilogy, with JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3: PARABELLUM, Keanu’s biggest hit in years. They discuss the evolution of the franchise, how it manages to keep topping itself, Keanu’s place in the landscape of modern action cinema...and also go on an extended tangent about award-winning musician Enya. Contains spoilers for the 2019 film Tell It to the Bees.

This week: John Wick is back, and so is guest Siddhant Adlakha (Polygon, Village Voice). He joins Patrick and the Brothers Torpey to discuss the second installment in the Wick saga, as well as important topics like Hannah Montana, Indian film censorship, and…who is Mortdecai anyway?

The journey through Keanu's career begins, unexpectedly, with a look at one of his more recent iconic roles: the grieving, dog-loving murder machine: John Wick. In the show's inaugural episode, Patrick, Jake, and Matt revisit Chad Stahelski's modern action classic, and explore what it meant for action cinema, and more importantly, for Keanu himself.

They're back! Finally! Patrick, Jake, and Matt reunite for a brief introductory episode to answer the important questions: what is this podcast, why are they doing it, and most importantly...why Keanu Reeves?

It’s the final episode of We Heart Hartnett (for now), so that means it’s time for Big P and the Brothers T to finally answer the most important questions: what are Josh’s best and worst movies? What sort of films do we want to see him in? What did we learn from this whole weird experience. And…does Jake know what sort of music the Max Rebo Band plays?

It’s the penultimate episode of We Heart Hartnett! This week, Patrick, Jake and Matt, having watched all of Josh’s feature films, dig deeper, discussing his short films, TV appearances, and even his TV commercials. It’s the final level of obsessive Hartnett analysis, taking this podcast further than probably anyone wanted.

After months filled with twists and turns, ups and downs, this week the podcast finally reaches the end of Josh Hartnett’s filmography…or at least his most recent movie. Patrick, Jake, and Matt hit the slopes to discuss the snowboarding survival drama 6 BELOW, and with it enter new territory: the recent phenomenon of the faith-based film. They explore this, as well as topics like whether the show Entourage was ever good, the return of Penny Dreadful, and the recent film FUN MOM DINNER.

After weeks and months of frustration and disappointment, Patrick, Jake and Matt FINALLY arrive at the movie they’ve been waiting almost a year for. It’s time for OH LUCY! the best film Josh has made in a long, long time. Beyond an in-depth discussion of the film, they also find time to discuss the Merovingian from the Matrix sequels, a potential Riddick decalog, hot takes on binge watching, the band Everclear, PLUS a drinking game for this podcast!

This week, Josh travels back to World War I in what might be the lowest-grossing movie of his career: The Ottoman Lieutenant. But other than this boring movie, we cover such important topics as: which host is the Gollum of the group, the MTV Movie Awards Matrix Reloaded parody, the exact definitions of holocaust and genocide. Plus: more about our pitch for Patriot Pictures.

Matt is back! And just in time to talk about the modern western crime drama WILD HORSES, written directed by Robert Duvall. The movie is bad and boring, so a lot of time is spent discussing other topics, such as: nu-metal, the VOD film market, and our pitch for a low-budget action drama film called Delivery.

If you’ve never listened to this show before, do not start with this episode. This week, Matt is out of town, so Jake and Patrick take a break from their Josh Journey to reflect on the past year of the show. Somehow past guest Chris Decerbo convinced them to allow him back to share his 8 pages of typed feedback on every episode of the show so far. This episode might be a disaster, but at least it has a long story about Patrick’s dad winning lacrosse world championships and.

This week Andy Webb, the biggest Penny Dreadful fan we know, joins us to close out our coverage of the show. Does it stick the landing? Does our boy Josh continue to wolf out? These questions are answered among the many tangents such as our pitch for Matt’s cameo on the show Billions, our ideas for multiple Penny Dreadful spinoffs, and Patrick’s angry rant about the Bailey School Kids.

Penny Dreadful continues! This week Patrick (who is audibly sick) and the Brothers Torpey continue their quest through everyone’s favorite gothic horror drama in which Josh Hartnett plays a werewolf. It’s an eventful season, featuring witches, throat ripping, necrophelia, and some cozy sweaters. Plus: Patrick reads mean tweets about himself, we discuss why Josh isn’t in the new Halloween movie, and the Torpeys pitch their commercial for Mountain Dew: Code Red.