What should we do when all the work we do to run our family's lives is done so successfully that they not only don't acknowledge it—they don't even understand it? How do we help our partners understand that saying "I left the doctor a message, but they didn't call back" does not really count as a completed task? It's all about what's called the "invisible workload." In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: whether "cognitive labor" (Allison Daminger) or "emotional labor" (Rose Hackman) might be even better terms for what we're talking about pushing back on "weaponized incompetence" the difference between taking on tasks and taking on outcomes The importance of giving voice to invisible labor in front of kids Here are links to some interviews/books we mentioned in the episode: Our interview with Eve Rodsky Mac Daniel for Harvard Radcliffe Institute: "The Unseen Inequity of Cognitive Labor" FAIR PLAY by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943 EMOTIONAL LABOR by Rose Hackman: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250777355 THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE by Lyz Lenz: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices