This episode is about answering your questions on the topic of parenting! The "Becoming a Whole Person" series addressed many aspects of parenting and child development, but these listener questions will go deeper in the weeds on the following topics: 1) Logical Consequences: What are they? How do I implement them? Ideas for teens? 2) Sibling Rivalry: What's normal? How do I manage it? Ideas to minimize it? 3) School Agendas: How should I navigate agendas in my child's school that...

Many parents are imprisoned by the pressure to be perfect, and have all the right answers and responses.  But the reality is that every parent and caregiver makes mistakes and fails their kids.  John and Austin discuss the 4 biggest mistakes they see from parents: 1) Trying to control your kids 2) Ignoring your kids needs 3) Avoiding vulnerability & ownership 4) Inconsistency & unpredictability Each of these mistakes brings misunderstanding, frustration and hurt. So what can you do...

Parenting can feel like walking blindfolded on a greased tightrope over a frightening chasm. Having firm anchoring points along the way can ease your fears and help you know how to take the next step. Many parents fall off the tightrope by either "under" or "over" disciplining, which can strain relationships or cause future pain. This "true confessions" episode with Austin, Shay and Lynn will encourage you to keep going on your parenting journey and keep you focused on where you want to...

You can ignore, dismiss, punish or try to fix emotions, but the reality is that they aren't going away. Until you can become emotionally intelligent yourself, it will be difficult for you to give your child the one thing they need from you the most: your heart. Relationships are built on emotional connection, but without modeling or instruction on how to identify and work with emotions, you may think that avoiding them is your only option. John & Lynn directly address the question of...

It's easy to think that childhood fears are silly and irrational, but have you considered that there is a fear that drives both children and adults to behave or respond in extreme ways? Maybe you get angry and react irrationally at an innocent comment.  Or you notice a child throw themselves to the floor when asked to do a simple task. Or you have a co-worker sabotage your team project when they don't get the recognition they think they deserve. Listen as Lynn, Shay and Austin discuss an...

The 2 core questions that you are asking in every stage of development are: Am I loved? Can I be free? This episode explores the 2nd question: "Can I be free?"  The heart behind this question is wondering if you can be your own person, be independent, and be your own authority. When you begin to notice how this question presents itself, you'll have a better understanding of what drives you as an adult, as well as what drives the heart of your child. Parents are helping children build an...

Everyone is looking for the answer to these two questions: Am I loved? Can I be free? It may sound simple, but these two core questions are a driving force in every child's psychological and emotional development. So what does a child need from a parent to know the answer to the question: "Am I loved?"  John, Shay and Lynn will get specific about how parents can help their child build a strong internal "love container" that will help them move through life with confidence. They also...

This episode launches our new series: Becoming a Whole Person.  You are on a growth journey towards becoming a whole person, no matter how old you are. In fact, you never stop growing! All children need basic ingredients to grow, and these are actually the same ingredients that you need to keep growing as an adult. In this episode, John, Lynn and Austin discuss two key ingredients for growth: Love and Limits. As you listen, you will discover: - What are love and limits - How the presence...

One of the most beneficial aspects of counseling is taking the time to reflect on the story of your life. In this new pop-up series called "Stories in the Weeds", Austin Conner interviews James Bachman as he recalls how he initially believed that grieving was only necessary after a huge loss in life, like the death of his father. But what James came to understand as he worked through his story, is that both big and small losses need to be grieved, or you will stay stuck. The WYITW team...

We enjoy answering questions submitted by our listeners, and these 2 questions have John and Austin jumping in the deep end as they address questions about marriage and pornography.  1. Marriage: "At the heart of most of our marital conflicts it seems as though my spouse expects me to meet their needs that I cannot meet. How do I handle that?" 2. Pornography: "What advice would you give to someone who is addicted to pornography? This has been a struggle of mine for such a long time. I know...

What happens after you die? Where will heaven be? What will you do in heaven? Whether you know it or not, your beliefs about heaven impact your current perspective. And without a biblically informed understanding of heaven, you may be prone to adopting a narrative about what happens after death that is inaccurate. What Shay & Austin explain in this episode is that ultimately, heaven is relational. Meaning, heaven is where you will be fully known and fully loved, enjoying perfect...

If this title hits a nerve, you’re in good company because everyone has some sort of internal emotional response when they think of their father, good or bad. But we’re talking about it because we’re all children with a built-in longing to connect with our father. And given that no one has had a perfect human father, it's hard for us to imagine God as our Heavenly Father being as good as the Bible tells us he is. In this episode Lynn, John, and Austin discuss what spiritual adoption is and...

Does it ever feel like you’re calling God and he’s just not picking up? Have you ever believed God loves you in your head, but not in your heart?  Has this head/heart gap lasted a long time, felt hopeless, or caused feelings of guilt and despair? If so, you might actually be right where God wants you. In this episode John, Shay, and Austin discuss the specifics of what the “silence of God” is, relate stories and scriptures about when God feels distant and describe experiences of dark nights...

As counselors, we are often asked by clients these perplexing questions: "Why do I do what I don't want to do? Why am I not further along in my spiritual growth? Will I ever be free from this besetting sin?"  These questions immediately get to the heart of the internal battle we all face when it comes to the topic of indwelling sin and what growth looks like in the life of a Christian. John, Lynn, and Austin discuss the parasitic nature of sin and how it imbeds and expresses itself in our...

Have you noticed that we live in a world where you are judged by your performance?  Your sense of purpose, identity and value seems to hang on the balance of how well you perform in school, at work, as a parent and even as a Christian. But what happens when you realize you can’t measure up, no matter how hard you try?  Pastor Erwin Lutzer joins Lynn Roush & Shay Roush on this second episode in our Grounded in Grace series, where they discuss the self-doubt, fear of failure and...

This episode kicks off a new series called Grounded in Grace where we will explore several key theological truths that we need to understand and cling to in the weeds of life. We kick things off with the most foundational truth of all - The Gospel. But what does that even mean? And what implications will it have in your life?  John, Shay and Austin discuss the heart of the gospel message: that God sent Jesus to be in the weeds with you. This profound truth changes everything and impacts...

This is our second installment of answering YOUR questions! The WYITW team tackles 2 listener questions in this episode: 1. What therapeutic concept has been most eye-opening and helpful to you as a counselor? 2. As a single person in the church, I struggle to figure out where I fit in. How do I deal with being single when I feel overlooked? John, Shay, Lynn & Austin have a spirited round table discussion on these excellent questions as they share what they have learned from their...

Perhaps you know this in your mind, but actually believing it in your heart is a different story. John, Shay, and Austin set out to help close this gap between your head and your heart. They discuss the following 3 important biblical truths that you need to remember: 1. God's heart is for the sexually broken. 2. The gospel says that you are simultaneously far more broken than you know, and yet far more loved than you can imagine. This powerful truth redeems, restores, and reminds us of our...

Have you ever believed this about yourself? We know that this bad, false belief is pervasive and often reinforced by feelings of self-loathing and self-condemnation. That's why the With You in the Weeds team decided to tackle it head on. Lynn, John, and Austin address what might be one of the most heavy, messy, and complex FALSE beliefs in the entire series "Beliefs That Keep You Stuck". They define “sexual brokenness” and unpack the progression of intimate bonding and the powerful impact it...

We know it’s counterintuitive, but it’s true. "Shoulding" yourself into being a better person neglects the most important ingredient we need to grow: grace. John, Shay, and Lynn share why it’s hard to believe this is true and discuss the proper place “shoulds” have in the Christian life. When you’re done with the episode you’ll know how important it is to: -Focus on trusting God instead of pleasing God -Use discernment when you see “shoulds” controlling your life -Begin saying “I wish”...

"I should read my bible more" "I should get in shape" "I should be more successful in my job" "I should be a better friend/parent/Christian, etc" Is your thought life full of all the things you "should" be doing? When you "should" on yourself, does it help you change, grow or do better? So many people live under the heavy burden of things they "should" be doing, but then feel discouraged, ashamed or disappointed when they can't live up to their own standards.  John, Lynn, and Shay discuss...

"I should read my bible more" "I should get in shape" "I should be more successful in my job" "I should be a better friend/parent/Christian, etc" Is your thought life full of all the things you "should" be doing? When you "should" on yourself, does it help you change, grow or do better? So many people live under the heavy burden of things they "should" be doing, but then feel discouraged, ashamed or disappointed when they can't live up to their own standards.  John, Lynn, and Shay discuss...

This statement may be hard to accept, but without a biblically accurate view of suffering, not only will you feel stuck, but you may also hurt yourself and mislead others, leading to despair and giving up on God. John, Shay, and Austin explain how a better, more accurate belief is that: “Obeying God Includes Suffering.” When you come to understand the reason why this is true, you will find greater degrees of acceptance, healing, and comfort in the midst of your suffering.  Suffering is...

Do you believe that following God, praying and having strong faith will buy you an insurance policy against suffering? This false belief is often clung to as a way to feel in control when life feels chaotic and unpredictable.  The problem with this belief is that it breeds disappointment, resentment and disillusionment when you encounter trials and suffering that don't make sense. John, Lynn, and Shay explain more about where you may have picked up this belief, why it's so tempting to...

Despite what you may think, understanding your past matters a great deal, and may have more impact on your personal growth than anything else.  Lynn, Shay, and Austin walk through the biblical foundations of why your past matters, explain the neurological nuts and bolts of how your past shows up in your present, and then give the following practical steps to explore your past: - create a timeline of events - acknowledge both positive and painful memories - identify and grieve the losses -...