Preamble: My Thoughts On Sharing the Good & The Bad. Today I’m going to talk about a topic that almost no one wants to discuss: Sadness. The reason I want to talk about this even though it’s difficult and uncomfortable to do so is that: * Sadness struck me unexpectedly this morning and I want to attempt to understand what caused it & how to avoid it in the future. * I think social media and newsletters like this can project and incomplete and potentially misleading representation of the authors life. I want to attempt to present a more balanced picture. I think that people only seeing the highlights & good stuff on social media can create a powerful illusion that everyone else’s life is happier and more exciting than their own. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is one of the many reasons why people seem to be more depressed these days. I have observed that my own personal social media posts and this newsletter may also contribute to this problem. I noticed that my post explaining how I cured my grief related depression gave people the incorrect impression that I was always happy. This of course is not true and I struggle with mood swings like most of us do. To combat this perception problem that my post created, I am going to make a concerted effort to be more balanced in my writing. I want to make sure that I share my struggles and battles as well as my wins and triumphs. I want to make sure that I am painting a fair picture of my life and not broadcasting a distorted overly positive view of my life. Also note: I understand my life is blessed and that my struggles and sadness pale in comparison to what others are experiencing. I have nothing to complain about. But, that is precisely why I think it’s important to share our struggles so that we all can appreciate how unique, yet familiar, our shared human experience can be. Today I am going to share one of my struggles. Please let me know what you think. Do you think I should share more like this or do you think I should focus on the positive uplifting stuff? Your feedback is very helpful. Today (Monday) I woke up sad and it was hard to get out of bed. Taking inventory: What was I feeling when I woke up? * Lonely: I felt alone. I had a strange feeling that no one cared about me. * Unlovable: I felt that I wasn’t lovable. I felt that my presence upset people and that my participation in events didn’t bring joy to people’s lives. * Directionless: I felt directionless. I felt like I didn’t have a purpose or a mission to work towards today. It’s embarrassing to admit that I felt these emotions this morning. It makes me feel a little pathetic and very vulnerable. Moreover, sharing my feelings so openly stirred a sense of guilt within me, reflecting an ungratefulness for the many privileges I enjoy compared to others. What gives me the right to feel this way and complain about it when others have it so much worse? Of course, logically, all of the sad feelings I was experiencing have no factual justification. How could I feel lonely and unlovable with Laken and Lane showering me with love and attention everyday including this morning? How could I feel like my friends don’t like being around me when I had an amazing weekend with 3 of my closest friends spending the weekend at our house? How could I feel directionless when I have a to-do list a mile long and more opportunities to pursue than there are hours in the day to pursue them? My sadness makes absolutely no sense when you look at it logically. But of course, that knowledge didn’t make my sadness disappear. Even though in my brain I knew that I had no reason to be sad, I couldn’t shake it. It’s frustrating how that happens. Then I remembered something, this feeling of sadness without a logical reason to explain it, used to happen to me a lot. The feelings often came disguised alongside a hangover, but not always. It made me very thankful to realize that in the past