We rush through our days with so much to do, so much we should be doing, so much we’re missing out on … but how often do we stop to appreciate the place where we are right now? I don’t mean to focus on the journey, because that’s many different places … but instead to focus on where you are at this particular time. The physical place you’re in, the emotional state you’re in, the phase you are in life. Pause for a moment, right now, to notice where you are. What is it like? What is the...

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” ~Eckhart Tolle Today I’m going to suggest a small change in mindset that could change your life. I won’t keep you in suspense. Here it is: think of nothing that happens as either good or bad. Stop judging, and stop expecting. It’s a tiny change — all you have to do is say, ‘That wasn’t good or bad, it just happened, it just is.’ It’s tiny, but it takes practice, and amazingly, it can knock you on your ass. Why?...

In our rush to get through the tasks of our day, to complete our errands and answer emails, to look at the next video or link we find … when do we think we’ll find happiness? If it’s not here right now, when will it come? Maybe we think it’ll come when we improve our lives, or meet our goals, or succeed at our business, or finish our college degree. Maybe it’ll come when we go on that next trip, or when we find time to relax. Maybe tomorrow. Or we could try this: * Slow down instead of...

How do you beat something so addictive as the Internet, or TV — things most of us find ourselves increasingly immersed in, all day long? I won’t get into the whys of curbing an addiction like this — I’m going to assume you already want to make a change. The change can be different things: perhaps you play too many video games, watch too much porn, watch TV on your laptop way too much, are on Youtube or Facebook or Reddit or Instagram or Twitter or news sites or blogs too much … What can...

Have you ever made a bucket list? For me, they’re incredibly seductive — I love reading other people’s bucket lists, and making my own. But here’s what happens when you make a bucket list: * You put this huge burden on yourself to get the list accomplished. As if we don’t already have enough on our to-do lists already! * If you don’t do well at pursuing the things on the list, you feel guilty or underaccomplished. * If you do well at pursuing the list, you are probably pursuing...

Let’s say you’re feeling unmotivated, unsure of yourself, aimless, can’t find your passion, directionless, not clear on what your purpose in life is. You’re in good company — most people are in the same boat. Now, there about a million things online telling you how to find your passion in life, and that’s a good thing. It’s a search worth undergoing. I’m not going to give you a fool-proof method, or a 5-step method, nor share my passion manifesto with you today. I’m going to give you a...

We all do it: we look at what others are doing and wish we were doing that too. Or, alternatively, we scoff at what they’re doing and judge them, and see ourselves as better. One makes us feel bad, the other makes us feel superior. Neither makes us happy. Let’s take a couple of quick examples. Example 1: Looking at Instagram I’m not an Instagram user, but family members are, and I see the kinds of things that are posted: people going to parties, to the beach, having a great dinner,...

‘Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.’ ~Marcus Aurelius There are various ways to prepare yourself for what might come your way, whether that’s a tough work project, a crisis, the loss of a loved one, an argument with your partner, or the zombie apocalypse. One way is to get everything ready for anything that’s likely to come: get all your survival equipment, prepare your skills, plan for...

I know I’m losing focus when I’m constantly jumping around from task to task. This is a “red flag” for me — a sign that I’m doing something wrong. You’ve done it too: switching from one browser tab to another, opening various emails and other messages, checking on this and that. No focus, lots of stress, lots of mental exhaustion without really getting anything done. It means that I’ve lost myself in a chain of endless distraction, and am not truly conscious of what I’m doing. When this...

My friend Brian asked me yesterday what my biggest fear might be, and the first fear that came out of my mouth was: “The fear that people will discover I’m a fraud.” The truth is, this fear isn’t something I think about a lot, but it’s often present in the background of my mind, unnoticed but working its dark magic on me. Lots of fears work this way, and until we say them aloud, they have a power over us. Once we say them out loud, really bring them out in the light of day, and give them...

‘The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.’ ~Moliere There’s something in all of us that seems to want the changes we’re trying to make in our lives come as soon as possible. If we’re trying to lose weight, we want those abs to show up within a week or two. If we’re building muscle we want to look like Hugh Jackman in a month. If we’re learning to meditate we want to master that in a week. But none of that happens. What I’ve learned through repeated habit changes is that change...

For a long time, I underestimated the importance of sleep. Sure, I know that sleep is important for health and happiness and all of that … but it wasn’t until I learned two things that sleep took on a new importance for me: * If you don’t get enough sleep, you will fail at changing habits; and * If you have a lack of sleep, your motivation will drop tremendously. For years I focused on waking early so that I’d be more productive and be able to focus on my morning habits. But those two...

As you sit here reading this, pause and expand your awareness beyond your computer/phone … what is the reality of this moment? You’re reading, and there are a bunch of other tasks you want to do on your computer, yes … but there’s also your body. How does that feel? There’s the area around you, perhaps some people around you. There’s nature nearby. Take a pause to become aware of the actual reality of this particular moment. As we go through our day, we’re often stressed because of all the...

We all procrastinate, and by and large, we all know the solutions to our procrastination. I put off writing this article (ironically, I know, and yes I know you’ll put off reading this article) by doing a bunch of smaller tasks, for example. They were less important and I knew it, but they were quick tasks and so easier than writing an article on a tough topic. Honestly, I know the solutions: clarify what task is most important, clear away everything but this more important task, clarify my...

I have come to believe that high stress, constant anxiety over tasks and work and life, social anxiety … is all a part of the modern way of life. Most people just don’t feel a sense of peace, of calm, of serenity, throughout their day. I have to admit that I’m the same way some of the time, but I have learned a few things that have helped me create a feeling of calmness much more of the time than ever before. It’s a series of habits that have developed over the last few years. I’m not...

This morning I had a ton of work to do, and I felt the anxiety building, the moment I woke up and started thinking about all that work. Instead of getting moving, I watched my anxiety. It’s an interesting feeling of rising panic, of adrenaline shooting from my chest outward. My mind was racing, my heart was beating fast. This happens to me from time to time — I feel like I have so much to do, and I start to worry. I’ve learned to deal with it, so that while it still comes up, I now have...

One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag. Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people — I think it’s either a built-in method all humans have, or something we develop because of built-in methods. We all judge people, and I’m not an exception. But I’ve gotten better at noticing when it happens. And recognizing that it’s a sign of something harmful. The judging itself isn’t bad. It’s what the judging is...

Despite the insipid title of this post, work-life balance is a bit of a myth. Sure, we work too much, don’t have time for all the other things we want to do, are always tired, eat convenience food or comfort food rather than nutritious or nourishing food, never have time for solitude … but that’s the life we want, right? OK, maybe it needs a bit of readjusting. Work and life and learning and relationships and health are all really the same thing, and so “balance” is perhaps the wrong...

When you’re feeling resentful or angry about something, it’s worth stopping to consider why. This morning, I woke up to a dirty kitchen, and as I do most mornings, I started cleaning it up. Washing dishes, wiping counters, putting dishes away, and so on. I do this a lot. And I found myself feeling resentful. Why didn’t other people clean this up? Why am I the one who has to clean it up all the time? And I watched my resentment. And I saw at its root a feeling of entitlement, that everyone...

‘Act without expectation.’ ~Lao Tzu How much of your stress, frustration, disappointment, anger, irritation, pissed-offedness comes from one little thing? Almost all of it comes from your expectations, and when things (inevitably) don’t turn out as we expect, from wishing things were different. We build these expectations in our heads of what other people should do, what our lives should be like, how other drivers should behave … and yet it’s all fantasy. It’s not real. And when reality...

Most of us are pretty busy, just about every day. Some like it that way — being busy is almost a status symbol, as it shows you’re important and productive and a go-getter and achiever. If you’re in a power meeting and sending emails on your Blackberry and making calls, you must be important, right? I say we should reject that little game of who’s busier than whom. We should opt out. We should say, “I’d rather find peace of mind, and be able to relax, and really enjoy life, than allow it to...

‘Most of us need the crutch at times; but of course it is idiotic to use the crutch when our own legs (our own loves, tastes, habits etc.) can do the journey on their own.’ ~C.S. Lewis I know people who travel with several huge suitcases and carry-ons for a short trip, even if there’s no way they’d use everything, because it makes them feel safer. Others have a lot of clutter in their homes for the same reason — having more stuff makes you feel secure, more prepared, ready for the just-in...

When I first started simplifying my life, about 8 years ago, I remember my life being much busier. I would say yes to everything, and go to lots of social stuff, and drive everywhere doing a crazy amount of things, rushing wherever I went. By crazy I mean it can drive you a bit insane. These days I know a lot of people who do an amazing amount of socializing online instead of in person — chatting and sending messages and tumbling and posting pictures and status updates. While I understand...

Think about the major problems in your life — from anxiety to lack of regular exercise to a bad diet to procrastination and more. Pretty much every one of these problems is caused by a fear of discomfort. Discomfort isn’t intense pain, but just the feeling you get when you’re out of your comfort zone. Eating vegetables for many people, for example, brings discomfort. So does sitting in meditation, or sitting with a hard task in front of you, or saying No to people, or exercising. (Of...

It’s first thing in your workday, and you open up your email. There’s a host of messages, old and new, asking for your attention. You also open up other inboxes in social media and the like. You quickly go through them and get a picture of what you need to get done right now. But where do you start? You begin one task from an email, but then quickly have the urge to see if there’s something else more important you should be doing. And this problem repeats itself — every time you sit down...