Things will get better.... That’s what they say when they try to convince you that you should stay. But what they don’t realize is how long you’ve been telling yourself that same phrase. How many days you’ve gone through miserable, but you try to pretend you’re cool. You try to find a way to feel good in spite of your pain. In spite feeling trapped in a prison you can't escape. You try to pretend that things will get better so you fake it hoping to make it, but nothing ever changes... So the urge to die haunts you day and night. And you get to this point where you just don’t see the point in life. Like you don’t fit in. And you don’t like talking to people because they make you feel sick. And since you don't know how to fix what makes you sick, you stay stuck in it. And It doesn't seem to matter what you do, things don't improve. I know... I’ve been trying to improve myself, my whole life, and look what I’ve become. A no-one. And so the reality is, my death would have zero affect on anyone and I feel like a Goddamn waste. And sure, some might be surprised by my demise, but that's it. They’d get over it, real quick. But the question is, would I? So I dunno... I’m not committing to killing myself, but I do think about what it would feel like to finally feel good about myself. To feel at Home. And so I guess what I'm saying is, I dunno how much longer I can go like this. Sarah isn’t talking to me at all anymore, and I'm starting to wonder she's the killing me, and that's why I feel insecure. Which makes me wonder, maybe I need to change the way I talk to her, then maybe she'll be forced to listen and I can get her to go back to the way things were before...when I felt secure. *** Get all the Art Stories at http://www.ArtistSarahLong.com *** Buy her alcohol ink art paintings, at http://www.ArtistSarahLongStore.com. ****@ArtistSarahLong on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube