Losing someone you love... Feeling the effects of grief when you're young...old...either way, it’s so hard to know how to process the emotions, which is why most of us don’t. I know I didn’t. And I know it’s what it killed me more than anything. Carrying them around for so long was so hard and heavy. And I didn’t realize it was happening until I was forced to go within and look at why I was self-destructing. And then when I started to face all the pain... The loss of losing Beverley. The grief caused by my broken family... The pain I buried from all the times my exes cheated on me. The grief of never really wining... Never able to achieve my goals because I was in so much pain, and the pain controlled everything... It dictated my every move. How I thought and how I felt about what was possible. And so my moves were never really good because I never felt good. I always hurt. And the hurt caused my body to ache. And the aches took me away from perusing my dreams...so I was never free. I was trapped in this prison of frustration for most of my life, and I didn’t realize why life never felt right. I thought it was me. So grief... It’s devastating. It ruins everything. But I feel blessed to know what I know. Most people don’t realize that grief is creating their reality, and how it takes over your head and heart and creates your Monster. And Monsters will own you if you don’t know who you are. But once you realize who’s running your show, you can’t let it go, and you have to do the work to grow. That’s what I realized anyway. So I did the work to become a higher version of myself so I could find my personal power. I had to let the grief go so I could re-connect with my heart and give her the love she’s been missing since the losses tore us apart. And it takes time... It takes time to get to know yourself. Your true self. The self you couldn’t be.... The self you couldn’t be because grief was always in the way... But when you take down the walls and see what you really want. What really lights you up.... To know what it really feels like to feel good and what really doesn’t, you really do become someone else. And it's a good thing. It’s so good it’s hard to comprehend when pain is all you’ve ever been. So it's different when you act from a place of self-love... When you come from your heart, the heart wants very different things than what your monster wants, so doing the work to take down the walls you’ve put up and to let go of all the fears and false beliefs that keep you stuck... Well, it's a process. It takes time to stop the momentum of who you’ve become and to then become who you really are. But the good news is one day you will feel differently. One day you won’t feel like your suffocating in pain... You won’t feel like you don’t have to say and you’ll be free to say how you feel and mean what you say. To me, this is the art of self-mastery and it can only be achieved through the daily practice of finding self-awareness, through the art of Self-soothing. By giving to yourself like a lover should. Thus, to heal the pain you must care about yourself more than anyone else because you're the only one who will ever be there for yourself. You're the only one who can pick you up. Who can have your back when things fall apart. Who can put yourself back together. And so in order to be that person you need, you have to let go of all the sad emotions you’ve been carrying around. But it does work if you commit to the practice, If you follow the regime. If you become a love machine and you raise your frequency... And I gotta say, I finally feel like I’m finally coming to a place within where I don’t feel so heartbroken. I’m not as afraid to love as I was because I feel like I understand how to love without conditions. N