How do you move on from a mistake? How can you negotiate a big change in yourself that separates you from the community you are part of? Are you raising your children with openness or with fear? In this podcast episode, Billy and Brandy Eldridge speak with Joshua Harris about negotiating changes in yourself while moving forward holistically. Meet Joshua Harris Joshua Harris brings his scars to work. A former author, his books have sold more than 2 million copies in dozens of languages — books he later discontinued when he realized the damage they were causing. He has led a staff of 50 people in a megachurch and experienced the relational pain caused by organizational dysfunction — and he has ultimately distanced himself from Christianity. Now, Joshua is publicly deconstructing long-held religious beliefs through the power of living an authentic story. His personal mission is to support people whose voices have been stifled and to help them share their message with the world. Visit Joshua Harris’ website and connect with him on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Youtube. In This Podcast Summary * The journey of reconciling * Negotiating a change in community * Raising your children with openness The journey of reconciling I will continue to encounter people who, for the first time, are finding out about the ways that my thinking has changed, or I’m interacting with people who are unpacking parts of their lives that were negatively affected by my book and purity culture. (Joshua Harris) Making amends after creating a big impact is a journey for everyone involved, from the person who sparked the event to the people that it impacted. While Joshua is moving on with his life and committing to good work, he is still available to people who were impacted in the past by the book. As they are processing that grief and dealing with that pain, and maybe ticked off at me for the part that I played in that, I want to be a part of encouraging healing in them. (Joshua Harris) Rather than feel like Joshua has to perpetually be apologetic, he is working alongside people who were affected by his old book and helping them to heal. We can’t live in regret forever and we can’t live in the past forever, but I’m also trying to recognize that part of having published a book and let it be in existence for so long is that I have to try to be a part of the cleanup of some of that fallout. (Joshua Harris) Negotiating a change in community When things happen in life that disrupts your environment, finding equilibrium can take some time, especially within your community if it is close-knit or perhaps insular. [People] change in some way and then they’re constantly aware of this pressure [or] disapproval … from that community, and that’s a unique challenge. (Joshua Harris) Negotiate this shift by remaining your fully authentic and loving self. Committing to who you are may exile you from the community, but committing to the community may exile you from yourself if that community is not aligned with your authenticity. Who comprises the community that you want to be a part of? Can you create it if you are struggling to find it? Raising your children with openness There is no “right” or “wrong” way. No one can guarantee you a way that you should raise your children for success and openness.