What are the three habits to avoid when building relationships? What three habits will revolutionize the way you build relationships? What can you do today to help you find fulfillment? In this podcast episode, Billy and Brandy Eldridge speak with Dr. Paul Corona about the three keys to revolutionizing your relationships. Meet Dr. Paul Corona Dr. Paul L. Corona is a clinical professor of leadership in the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, where his teaching and coaching ratings average 96/100. Paul is also the founder of the award-winning Lee’s 3 Habits system, which helps motivated professionals and organizations build stronger relationships and achieve greater happiness – and he’s the author of The Wisdom of Walk-Ons: 7 Winning Strategies for College, Business and Life. As a Leading Global Coach award winner, Paul was considered for the first Thinkers50 Marshall Goldsmith Coaching & Mentoring Award (the Thinkers50 Awards have been called “the Oscars” of management thinking). During the past 35 years, Paul has transformed himself from a business person into a performance improvement specialist. He previously held a variety of leadership roles in Fortune 500 corporations, a Big 4 accounting and consulting firm, and major research universities. Most importantly, Paul is a husband, parent, and friend. Visit Dr. Corona’s website and connect on LinkedIn. In This Podcast Summary * Lee’s 3 Habits * Telling, talking, taking versus asking, listening, giving * Finding fulfillment * The happiness scale * What we can do today to help start this journey Lee’s 3 Habits The “Lee’s 3 Habits” system is based on the idea that almost everybody wants to be happier and one of the most important factors towards true happiness is strong relationships. The most effective way to build strong relationships is to be less focused on ourselves and be more focused on the other person and to: * Do a better job of demonstrating three habits: 1. Asking 2. Listening 3. Giving * More than the opposite: 1. Telling 2. Talking 3. Taking The way that the other person sees us more focused on them and caring more about them is by how well we ask them insightful questions, how well we listen to them, and how well we give them things like respect, service, or an idea. Watch the 3-minute micro-movie here. Telling, talking, taking versus asking, listening, giving When the natural Billy, the selfish, self-centered, I want what I want when I want it Billy walks into a room and he’s the telling, talking, taking person, it’s not the healthiest part of his being. It is born out of insecurity and wanting people to like him. He wants to tell people how important he is so he gets feedback and validation, but this actually pushes people away. When he is on the learning and listening side, people come in closer and establish more authentic relationships with him. Billy wonders why it is so hard to do the right thing and so natural to do the thing that pushes people away? If we go back to the beginning of time, we had to be self-focused in order to survive. Now, in cities and suburbs, we do it to thrive. We think that saying something funny or intelligent will help us thrive and be happier, that if we show how accomplished we are, that’s going to make us feel secure. It’s just another manifestation of self-absorption. Finding fulfillment If you’re still wondering if you’re fulfilled, you’re probably not fulfilled yet.