Parenting coach Mary Van Geffen guides folks daily through the process of raising "spicy" kids. Want to really get her going? Talk about the societal pressure to be a "good" mom, and the many meaningless, artificial and external markers that indicate what success looks like for modern parents. Mary unpacks and refutes every bit of that. I wish I could quote our entire conversation, but you'll just have to listen yourself. We cover every Southern woman's weakness; the perpetual people pleasers who seek her guidance; why the key to a happy home is in us, not our children; and (in an exercise that brings me to tears) how to create a relationship our grown children will rush home to each Thanksgiving. What DOES success look like in raising children? Mary's perspective may change your whole approach to parenting. Resources mentioned: Mary Van Geffen's website and Instagram The Gottman Institute feeling wheel Brittney Bolt, our Enneagram 7 guest, on being a surrogate for strangers Meredith Jaggard, prioritizing herself and her marriage while parenting and kicking MS square in the teeth Do Less by Kate Northrup Try Softer by Aundie Kolber Support But Not All At Once via our Patreon, where you can catch an hour-long update (and a metric ton of inspiration) from Meredith Jaggard, plus videos, giveaways, upcoming guest Q&As, and more. As always, you can find Anne at  [email protected] and @butnotallatonce across social media platforms.