Who hasn't done some drunk shopping on Amazon, amirite? But have you ever accidentally spent $25,000 when you thought you were spending $250? Let's talk about that, a town that uses rollercoasters in place of public transportation, getting blasted in a Walmart parking lot drinking wine out of a Pringles can, getting billed by the ambulance that hit you while you were riding your bike, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the...

If there's ever a perfect time to unintentionally blast the podcast out of your car door for a random polygamist woman to hear... it's when Bryan is screaming about having to finger little kid buttholes. Let's talk about that, accidentally killing your fiancé's brother, getting trapped in your basement because you're old, what crazy shit would you do for $10,000, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end...

Let us walk you through an alternative universe... where you are doing back-alley deals with local sperm banks in order to fill a bucket full of semen so you can clean your butthole. We'll explain. Let's talk about that, some crazy sh*t going down in a Sonic parking lot, accidentally buying tickets to see Alabama when you meant to go see Alabama, a depressing village in Japan doing creepy stuff in order to not be sad, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of...

It's hard to imagine surviving a fall from 100 feet, let alone surviving a fall from 650 feet into a volcano! Let's talk about that, a doctor that refuses to wear gloves while touching your junk, being locked into a gym membership for life, sticking your finger inside a mall Santa's butthole in order to make him talk, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon...

Remember that time you were sitting at home with your family and the robot vacuum started screaming racial slurs at everyone? It has happened. Let's talk about that, how annoying it would be to have to go bowling every single day, donating part of your liver to a complete stranger, your wife having sex with your brother, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our...

Imagine finding something worth $100 million, not knowing what it's worth, then just putting it under your bed for a decade as you continue on with your boring life. Yikes. Let's talk about that, accidentally throwing away an art installation, finding your family pet 30 years after it went missing, how amazing it is that any of us get anywhere safely, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each...

Have you ever been so high on mushrooms that you decided it was a good idea to cut your dick off with an axe? Let's talk about that, how many bugs we eat without knowing it, running a marathon with a goat, jerking off a silverback gorilla, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the...

A little piece of advice. When strolling through an animal sanctuary, please refrain from grabbing a chicken from its nest and chucking it into an alligator pit. Let's talk about that, old things that should never be updated, grinding your junk on your grandparents, unknowingly telling the world how much you love Justin Bieber's new haircut, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS...

Imagine it's a beautiful Sunday morning... you're at your favorite local coffee shop, looking out the window, and thinking about the great day ahead. Then, a man with half his head missing, walks down the street in front of you. Normal. Let's talk about that, fighting a clone of yourself to the death, throwing baby puffins off cliffs, making over 20,000 noise complaints to the local airport, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all...

Sometimes it's not enough to simply jam a vegetable up your butthole. Sometimes you need to find a way to get a stranger's motor vehicle involved in the process. Let's talk about that, a kid accidentally breaking an ancient jar in a museum, saying some stupid shit while in bed, learning that talking about your "perfect crime" isn't a good idea, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode...

What would your reaction be if you were a firefighter and after saving a kid that was stuck in a swing, someone snuck up and stole your Jaws of Life machine? Let's talk about that, why no one seems to think there are any rules outside of grocery stores, being a complete d******d to complete strangers ALL THE TIME, reading a book to a classroom while holding an autistic kid in a headlock, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the...

How pissed would you be if you spent MONTHS looking for your family member that the hospital told you checked herself out... only to later find out she was actually dead the entire time? Let's talk about that, getting completely covered in pee and poo, blanketing the planet with giant mirrors to make more daylight hours, accidentally handing out candies made of solid meth to the homeless population, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and...

Have you ever watched Deadliest Catch? Have you ever watched Deadliest Catch with your girlfriend's dad? Have you ever watched Deadliest Catch with your girlfriend's dad while your penis is inside his daughter's butthole? Let's talk about that, smashing your way into a Mexican restaurant to steal booze, accidentally allowing your child to watch porn instead of Barney, blending a spider into a milkshake for revenge, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of...

If every time you climaxed someone relate to you magically appeared in your room, would you still m********e? Let's talk about that, robot cars losing their goddamn minds, Joe getting a comb flapped against his forehead while getting a haircut, a badass little kid saving his family during a tornado storm, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE!...

How much do you love fruit? What if fruit could talk and tell you cool little secrets? Would you spend the next year of your life listening to random fruit in hopes that you get some life changing secrets? Let's talk about that, vibrating to the winner's circle, using geometry that involves your dong to win the Olympics, smoking a cigarette while sucking gas out of a muffin mobile, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra...

If you came across a dead body that was recently struck by a train... and the leg was now free-range... would you take a bite of it? Let's talk about that, a new children's show that we should probably start making, trying to pet a cat that's always on fire, sucking seeds out of the butt, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the...

We all gotta go someday... but if you were able to choose how you die I highly doubt it would involve chickens pecking food out of your mouth. Let's talk about that, going a little crazy over a bird trying to eat your daughter's French fries, getting a used diaper off Amazon, Bryan again bragging about how good he would be at sucking dong, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS...

There's nothing quite like taking the family out to dinner and the booth next to you is funneling margaritas into their assholes. Let's talk about that, trying to fly a kite at midnight in perfectly calm conditions, what the heck is with Montana and all their casino combo businesses, needing tokens from the government to watch porn, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons...

Bryan wants to give Joe a r****b. Joe definitely didn't write this episode description. Bryan can't read. Let's talk about that, splashing piss all over your girlfriend, getting so mad during online gaming that you pack a hammer and actually do something about it, Joe completely screwing up a jump off a bridge, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is...

Can you imagine running out to warn others of an incoming storm... and then getting struck by lightning?! Let's talk about that, getting way too angry at youth sporting events, your coworker insisting on tickling you everyday, squirting an interesting concoction on women in order to talk to them, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is...

Would you like to round-up to 9 butters today? Don't worry... if that made sense to you before hearing today's episode, that would be extra concerning. Let's talk about that, licking random stranger's hands before every handshake, the ugliest goat you will ever see, dropping your phone while trying to put on a new screen protecter, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?!...

What's the most amount of money you have ever blown on a carnival game? Could you imagine that number being YOUR ENTIRE LIFE SAVINGS?! Let's talk about that, super neat facts about sex, an edible drone blowing your cover during war, having huge eyeballs the older you get, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can...

Have you ever hired someone to do some work around the house and it appears they cut every corner possible along the way? Let's talk about that, AirBnb renters literally taking your house from you, using lasers to scare off 12,000 geese, your windshield disappearing while you're driving down the freeway, and more on today's episode of Can you Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE!...

Wowowowowowowowow! Come have some fun with us as we celebrate the two year anniversary of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast *** New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PST Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/rbbeoZDJCqc Send in segment...