In this episode of Dear DSO, Jimmy from Scotland seeks advice on whether he should help his ex-wife with her mental health diagnosis. While he's hesitant due to painful memories and the fact that her mental health issues contributed to their divorce, DSO encourages him to consider the well-being of their children. By filling out the forms and providing valuable information, Jimmy could potentially help his ex-wife receive the necessary treatment and become a healthier individual for the sake...

In this episode, Dr. Psych Mom and DSO discuss the psychology behind pressuring a spouse about a dead bedroom versus ignoring the issue. They explore the challenges faced by anxious men in relationships and the importance of open communication. They also address the misconception that everything else in a marriage can be perfect except for the lack of sex. With insights into attachment styles and the need for compromise, this episode offers valuable advice for couples navigating intimacy issues.

Luke writes in to ask how to overcome feelings of abandonment from his ex-wife. He feels stuck, resentful, and alone after building his life around her. DSO empathizes with Luke's situation but encourages him to take control of his life and see this as an opportunity for growth. He suggests finding new ways to make money, embracing the freedom to pursue personal interests, and seeking support from communities like the DSO Fraternity. DSO emphasizes the importance of accepting the reality and...

DSO addresses a listener's struggle with a low-sex relationship. DSO explains the dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles and offers insights into the complexities of these situations. He suggests reading his book, "The Dead Bedroom Fix," and seeking medical advice for erectile dysfunction. DSO emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and personal growth before blaming the partner. Tune in for valuable advice on navigating a challenging relationship.

Vanessa has been engaged for seven years but can't seem to get her partner to commit to marriage. Despite being together for 18 years and having two children, her partner is hesitant to tie the knot. Vanessa is starting to feel resentment and wants to know how to stop it from building further. DSo suggests asking her partner what specifically scares him about marriage and why it's so important to her. He advises Vanessa to either accept the situation, find a compromise, or consider calling it...

Jared, a divorced father, seeks advice on whether to continue doing activities as a family with his ex-wife and kids. The host suggests setting boundaries and prioritizing his own emotional well-being. While some argue that it's best for the children, the host emphasizes the importance of detaching emotionally and expediting the separation process. Listeners share their opinions, with one mentioning that if it's painful for either party, the kids will sense it. The host concludes that it's...

In this episode, DSO explores the common scenario of one partner being anxious and the other avoidant in a relationship. He offers advice on finding a middle ground and bridging the gap between the two. While the anxious partner may be willing to put in the work, the avoidant partner may resist constant attempts to fix things. DSO emphasizes that both partners have work to do and need to find a more secure center. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating this dynamic.

In this episode, DSO explores the possibility of moving from an avoidant to a secure attachment style in relationships. He emphasizes that both anxious and avoidant individuals have their own challenges to work on, and it takes professional help and effort from both sides to find a balance. DSO also discusses the frustration that anxious individuals may feel when their avoidant partners struggle to make progress. He shares personal experiences and highlights the difficulties of being with an...

Jason, or "Coach J" as he is known by our group, is one of the founding members of the DSO Fraternity and acts as the director for our DSO coaches. J has recently retired from the U.S. Army and brings with him a wealth of life experience. In this very candid conversation, DSO and Coach J talk about what got him into the world of Dad Starting Over, his struggles, and his current extremely stressful life situation with divorce and his ex-wife's alcohol addiction issues. Thank you, J, for all...

In this episode, DSO explores the sensitive topic of men feeling forgotten after having children. He shares the negative response he received from women when pointing out this issue and questions whether men are truly not helping or if their efforts are being overlooked. DSO emphasizes the importance of open communication and understanding between partners to bridge the gap and maintain a strong romantic connection amidst the challenges of parenthood. A thought-provoking discussion on the...

In this episode, DSO addresses a listener's concerns about their wife's suspicious behavior. From late-night phone use to financial infidelity, the signs are troubling. DSO advises the listener to prioritize their safety and consult with an attorney before making any decisions. The episode explores the importance of recognizing unhealthy patterns and taking action to protect oneself. With a focus on self-reflection and seeking professional help, DSO offers guidance on navigating a difficult...

In this episode, DSO addresses a common concern: how to explain a difficult divorce without resorting to labeling an ex as "crazy." He advises being open and honest about the challenges faced, without hiding the truth or trying to win favor. By sharing the reality of the situation, potential partners can make an informed decision. DSO emphasizes the importance of transparency and authenticity, even if it means potentially scaring away some people. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating...

In this episode, DSO delves into the topic of retroactive jealousy, addressing the insecurities and discomfort that can arise when a partner has had previous sexual encounters. He explores the dynamics of past promiscuity and the feelings of inadequacy that can arise when comparing oneself to a partner's previous experiences. DSO offers empathy and validation to those struggling with these emotions, emphasizing that their feelings are valid and not indicative of weakness. A thought-provoking...

DSO comes face to face with a conundrum that plagues many married individuals – the struggle for consistent, fulfilling intimacy. The host addresses a listener's question concerning the frequency and nature of intimacy within marriage, offering his insights on the complexities of physical and emotional connections. With raw candor and a touch of humor, DSO delves into the nuanced challenges of igniting passion in a relationship marred by a disparity in sexual desires. The listener, adopting...

DSO tackles a sensitive and commonly encountered issue in many marriages: the dynamics of sexual desire and satisfaction. Delve into Daniel's story, a listener who, despite having worked on improving his relationship and experiencing an uptick in bedroom activity, is grappling with the feeling that his wife's participation may not stem from genuine desire. DSO, with his blend of straightforward advice and empathetic insight, dissects the complexity behind the listener's concerns, pointing out...

I had the pleasure of sitting down for a nice chat with Carla Crivaro from the UK. From her website at carlacrivaro.com: "I started out as a sexually repressed, stay at home mother and wife with chronic anxiety, low self-worth and deep-rooted insecurities in all relationships from working to familial to romantic.   I went on to experience a 'sexual awakening' which took me on a path of self-discovery. I consensually dabbled in play parties and dating while still married to my then husband and...

DSO addresses a message from a listener who is experiencing a disparity in libido with his postmenopausal wife. The listener explains that his wife's libido has significantly decreased since entering menopause, while his own libido remains high. DSO discusses the complexities of menopause and its impact on women's libido and explores the listener's concerns about his wife's past sexual experiences and her lack of desire for sex. Additionally, DSO offers empathy and understanding to the...

In this episode, DSO responds to a letter from Nate, who is feeling drained and frustrated in his marriage. After a long military career, Nate has come to realize that his wife is lazy, unambitious, and constantly negative. He has recently started focusing on self-love and personal growth, but his wife's behavior is wearing him down mentally. DSO offers two options for Nate: either his wife needs to join him in his positive mindset and make an effort to improve the relationship, or Nate may...

DSO discusses the statistic that married people have more sex than single people, and whether this means that single individuals should get married to improve their sex lives. He examines the reality of sex in marriages by looking at survey data, which shows that a significant percentage of married couples are in dead bedroom relationships. DSO also explores the societal benefits of marriage and how it can serve as a solution for men who are not having any sexual encounters or causing chaos...

In this episode, DSO responds to a question from a listener named John Rambo, who is feeling anxious about his wife attending a bachelorette party in Vegas. John has been with his wife for almost 13 years and they have three children together. He describes his wife as beautiful and trustworthy, but he still has concerns about the party and worries about potential infidelity. DSO explores two possible explanations for John's anxiety: insecurity and a gut feeling that something is not right. He...

Karen and Catherine offer a service that they call "My Divorce Solution". It's an excellent method for gathering all pertinent information and uncovering all the facts you may need when going through a divorce. From their website at mydivorcesolution.com: "We specialize in supporting divorcing couples in effectively managing the division of their marital estate. We strive to demystify the complexities involved, ensuring our clients have a crystal-clear understanding of their financial...

DSO addresses a common issue faced by many men in long-term relationships: feeling neglected and pushed to the back burner after having children. He explains that this shift in attention and priorities is a natural result of motherhood and the demands of raising children. However, he acknowledges the valid need for intimacy and connection in a relationship and offers advice on how to address this issue. DSO emphasizes the importance of understanding the biological and societal factors at...

DSO responds to a question from a man named Nick who is frustrated with his wife's lack of contribution to household chores and responsibilities. Nick works long hours and comes home to clean, cook, and take care of their four children while his wife spends her time on the couch or surfing the web. DSO explains that this situation is not uncommon and suggests that Nick has inadvertently trained his wife to behave this way by not setting boundaries or demanding equal participation. He advises...

Lloyd is obviously not too happy with his love life to his wife of twenty years. He labels her as "avoidant", and their scheduled once-per-week intimacy sessions aren't panning out. What can he do?