Episode #88: Managing differences of opinion with friends can get tricky. An obvious area is politics, but smaller differences also get between friends, like parenting decisions. Examples: parents who give their kids a phone and social media years before the other friend; public vs. private school; where you live; how you vacation---those are not as divisive as politics, but it's an ongoing difference in your choices. Do we allow our differences to become a strength in a friendship or a...

Episode #87: Shows like The Golden Girls and Grace & Frankie are beloved by so many, but also treated as a fantasy. What if platonic life partnerships didn't have to be merely a dream? What if you didn't have to wait until retirement age to consider centering your life around friendship? Today's guest, Rhaina Cohen, author of The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center, profiles platonic partners in her book who are at different ages and stages of life....

Episode #86: Making friends and deepening existing friendships starts with some basic truths. "Every friendship starts with an act of bravery. And every friendship goes to the next level because of someone's act of bravery. ""Do not wait for the other person to make the first move. It's always your turn."These are just two of many wise and thoughtful quotes about making friends and deepening friendships from today's guests, Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston.  Amy, Jess, and I---three friendship...

Episode #85: "The more the merrier" is a common expression for good reason. Most of us don't want to be considered exclusive. We want others to feel welcomed and comfortable around us. But there are times when the more the merrier is not the case-- when the group dynamics for a particular event won't work if everyone comes along. In episode 85, I have a tough conversation with Danielle Bayard Jackson, an incredibly clear-thinking friendship coach and national speaker on the topic of female...

Episode #84:  Debra Arbit and I tell our real-life friendship story, which is a great example of going from barely acquaintances to close friends in our 40s. Well, when we met Debra was still in her 30s, but I was in my 40s. We share the emails and texts that move us from office-mates to friends.  Debra and I don't agree on everything, but we do agree that inviting people into your home is one way to significantly move a friendship forward. We share lots of tips for how to make hosting a...

Episode #83: Have you ever befriended your ex's ex? Today's episode focuses on the potential friendship that comes from a shared hurt and a shared healing. I was intrigued when Lara Starr emailed me about her "sister exes." Lara has written extensively in her Substack, It's Kind of a Long Story, about the friendships that came from bonding with the women who were emotionally hurt by the same man. This kind of friendship could also apply to fellow ex-friends of a particular friend.  There...

Episode #82: The friendships formed during difficult, even dark, periods of our lives create a lasting impact unlike any other bond. These friendships "in the trenches" can come in many forms---a health crisis, a traumatic experience, or even experiencing an especially intense work environment with a harsh boss and terrible hours. This week's guest, Jenny Leon, talks about some of the "in the trenches" friendships found in pop culture, but we mainly focus on the special and irreplaceable...

Episode #81: Have you ever held back sharing good news because you sensed a friend wasn't truly celebrating with you? Do you have friends who show up in bad times, but are slow to show support in good times? This episode is for you! I share some thoughts on identifying the friends who want to hear your good news, how to develop more friendships like that, and how to be that kind of friend to others.  Then, my guest, Chaz Sandifer, and I discussed the reality of outgrowing friendships,...

Episode #80: "Neediness" has come up in plenty of episodes, but this is the first one dedicated to that loaded word. The episode was inspired by a letter from a listener--author, Sally Vardaman, who found herself reacting to my mom's story in episode #72 about her decision to end a friendship over what she called, "neediness." Sally's letter was so reflective and insightful that I asked her to come on the show. We covered:  feeling drained by a friend's needs.worrying you're overtaxing...

Episode #79: Bri McKoy is a cookbook author and military wife who has moved seven times in 12 years. She went from burning everything in the kitchen to learning to cook as a way to create community. Have you ever wondered how to make good friends in a new city? Bri has repeatedly accomplished this task with some towns proving harder than others.  Bri's husband, Jeremy, has been deployed four times since they were married. Cooking helped Bri make friends while he was gone. She is now the...

Episode #78: You feel good potential friendship chemistry with someone, but then what to do next?  This is an episode about pursuing a new friend. (We also get into some texting etiquette.) How do you pursue the friendship in a way that lets the other person know you're interested, but doesn't scare them off? And if you're someone who already has a full social life, how do you make time for a new friend? And why should you make time for a new friend?We also discussed some texting etiquette...

Episode #77: If there's one thing we need these days, it's some joy and laughter. It's dark times. And while today's story of a heartbreak from a friendship breakup isn't exactly what we think of as funny on its own, I am thrilled to tell you that there is a fantastic comedian out there who has made humor and art out of a painful friendship breakup he had in college. Gabe Mollica's one-man show is called Solo: A Show About Friendship. How could I not feature it on Dear Nina?  If you're a...

Episode 76: This episode of Dear Nina focuses on reaching out amidst turmoil (this time in particular, in the Middle East), navigating conversations when you’re not sure what to say, and the profound impact of letting someone know you’re thinking of them. Questions discussed include:  Can a simple message of love and support make a difference to a friend during a crisis?Is it fair to expect friends to post on social media? At what point do you let friends know you're disappointment they...

Episode #75: If you're struggling with managing your friendships or looking for innovative ways to make new friends, this episode is your roadmap to a richer, more fulfilling social life. What you might be missing if you're not spending time with friends is a container for those friendships. My guests have tons of ideas for you! Jeff Waldman and Dan Moore joined me for an inspiring thirty minutes where we discussed creating closer friendships by scheduling time with friends. Yes, something...

Episode #74 with Kristin Nilsen: Have you ever stopped to acknowledge the profound impact of your childhood friendships, even the most casual and fleeting ones, on your adult identity? This episode is dedicated to the friends who touched our lives, even if they are no longer an active part of it.  Walk down memory lane with Kristin Nilsen, a middle-grade fiction writer and co-host of The Pop Culture Preservation Society Podcast, as we scrutinize our early social interactions and their...

Episode #73 with Ruchi Koval: Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you simply can't connect with someone trying to become better friends with you? Or, have you ever needed to "downgrade" a friendship? Letting down another person is never easy! Join me as I sit down with Ruchi Koval, a renowned author, motivational speaker, and relationship coach, to discuss how to navigate these types of conversations with kindness and grace. Ruchi also shares some hard truths that might...

Episode #72:  Sometimes we hurt a friend unintentionally, but an apology is still in order. Is there a friend out there who might be waiting for you to say, "I'm sorry?" Are you ready to forgive the friend who comes to you with an apology? This is the episode where we encourage you to think about forgiveness---asking for it and granting it. Who is we? I finally have MY MOM back on the show! We encouraged each other to think about the friends we might have hurt without realizing we have done...

Episode #71: Diamonde Williamson, found a way to make art from a painful friendship breakup and help others process their breakups, too. Just like romantic breakups, friendship breakups can lead to feelings of grief, loss, and loneliness. Yet, these feelings are often dismissed or minimized, making it hard to heal and move forward.  Learn more about Diamonde's documentary, Best Friends Not Forever.   Topics We Covered: Friendships that end because someone decided they need to end vs. a...

Episode #70: Ever feel like your social life is a waiting game, stuck in the perpetual hope for an invitation to hang out? It’s time to flip the script! This episode is about empowering you to take control of your social time and friendships. Don't  wait around hoping to be invited--reach out, take the lead, and discover the joy that comes with being the planner. It's a super power! This is the perfect episode for a new school year, or a new season of friendship for ALL AGES from kids...

Episode #69: with Jennifer Cramer-Miller You know those articles and memes that are everywhere reprimanding us about what NOT to say to a friend who is going through a hard time of any kind? Jennifer is here today to say THE OPPOSITE of that. She's urging us to stop being afraid of saying the wrong things to friends with chronic illness, or friends dealing with anything else.  Your friends will never say the perfect thing! WE will sometimes say the "wrong thing" to our friends. And I agree...

Episode #68: Today we're discussing a harder topic than usual--what to do when your friend is in a very unhealthy or even an abusive relationship. It can be extremely difficult as a friend, as opposed to a family member, to know when you can step in to help, or how you can help. I'm grateful to Rachel Katz for sharing her story. She's been on both sides of this equation. Rachel can speak to the frustration of watching a friend stay in a dangerous relationship, and she's been in a toxic...

Episode #67: In this episode, I encourage listeners to reach out to some long distance friends and plan a trip! Why? I finally put my money where my mouth is and spent time with out of town friends, and in this solo episode, I'm telling you all about it. Visiting long distance friends requires time and usually a financial commitment, but the rewards are priceless. The planning of these trips and then the actual trip itself, even very short ones, creates shared memories, deepens bonds, and...

Episode #66 with Heidi Shertok Today we’re talking about a topic that people have written to me about consistently over the years--friendships between introverts and extroverts.  Here to help me is Heidi Shertok, who told me that being an introvert in an extrovert’s world has presented some problems for her in her friendships. PLUS, I was so excited to talk to Heidi about her trailblazing novel in the romance genre--a romance starring an Orthodox Jewish woman. You've heard of Amish romance?...

Episode #65 with Dr. Lisa Damour  Dr. Lisa Damour is the NYT bestselling author of Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. She's also the co-host of the Ask Lisa Podcast. On Dear Nina, I focus on adult friendships, but sometimes I touch on teen friendships because teen friend strife is slipping into adult friendships. While it was once expected that teens would experience friendship changes as part of growing up, it now seems making sure teens never feel upset about...

Episode #64 with Jill Smokler (Scary Mommy) What happens when two longtime, old school bloggers reminisce about the good old days of blogging? You get laughs, reflections, and a deep dive into the intricate dynamics of the blogging community from the early days to today. I'm joined by my friend and star blogger, Jill Smokler, founder of Scary Mommy, as we delve into our shared experiences of the blogging world and the friendships we made online "way back when." We discussed the thrill of the...