On Today’s Show: 00:00:00 Introduction02:19:08 Lord Douche And The Neverending Rental Car Saga04:35:08 Communicating With Galactic Unicorns16:40:05 Racist Freak Out Over Hot Sauce20:14:22 Having A Complete Mental Breakdown Because She Took A Photo31:00:06 Sign Up For The Sideshow!32:32:00 Taylor Swift Is About To Activate Her Global Coven Of Teenage Witch Fans!38:07:04 Pepperoni Jesus Is Creeping Everyone Out40:52:07 Paper Beats Rock and Girth Beats Length44:38:16Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending Images/Links Personalized Boxers for Husband, Etsy Today’s Sponsor: Promo Code: FREAK Save 50% + Free Shipping And Gifts | Coupon Code “FREAK” at checkout! Adam&Eve Our New PO Box Address! Distorted ViewPO Box 36268Cincinnati, OH 45236 * Call In To The Voicemail Line: 206-666-4463 * Support Distorted View – Check out our Patreon page * Get Exclusive Episodes Every Week – Become A Member Of The Distorted View Sideshow! AI Transcript: ey, freaks, it’s Wednesday, February 28th, 2024. Coming up on the program today, communicating with the Galactic Unicorns of Planet Vorlon 7. Plus, Pizza Jesus is both horrifying and scrumptious looking. And thanks to pollution, we now all have mutant penises. All this was your voicemails today. Distorted View Daily proudly presents Mr. Rogers, calling an elderly woman. Hello. Hello. Yes, hi. This is Fred Rogers. Fred Rogers? What can I do for you? I remember one time some of our neighbors who were studying ballet dancing got dressed up to look like raccoons. Oh, you don’t say. Well, did you know something, sir? I don’t know you, and I wish you wouldn’t call my phone anymore. I’m just an old lady and I don’t want to hear all that nonsense. I don’t care about dressing up like raccoons. That’s stupid, so please don’t call here again, understand? I was just making some popcorn. No, I don’t know who you are. This is Fred Rogers. No, you’re not Fred Rogers. I don’t know what the hell you think you’re doing calling here. One of them was a mother, a raccoon, and the other a father, a raccoon, and there was a boy raccoon and a girl raccoon,