One of the biggest hurdles to getting out of an abusive relationship is money. Today I’m answering two listener questions related to this issue. “Do I need to submit to having my credit and debit cards taken away and no access to money?” “How do I launch myself financially after having no experience with money?” These are very common questions emotional abuse survivors have, and I want to answer them in today’s episode.  Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a...

ANNOUNCEMENT: Join me for a Five-Day Lifeline event on January 22-26 where I'll be teaching and coaching you live every day for five days from 11:00-12:30 pm CT. It's only $19 for the entire thing. You will have access to the replays through the end of February if you can't make it live. Go to flyingfreeworkshop.com to learn more and register! If you’ve ever flown on a plane, you know that in case of emergency, the flight attendants always tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first before...

Today’s episode is taken from a live Q&A I did a couple of months ago within the Flying Free program. In this episode, I cover the following issues: I keep feeling like his sadness, loss, and grief over losing me are all my fault. All of a sudden, my husband has a lawyer and a few other suspicious things going on. I know I need a lawyer now too, but I don't have any money and I don't have any time, and I'm stuck. I'm having a hard time speaking my own opinions without stumbling over my...

What would you do if you found out that your husband of twenty-two years was arrested and put in jail for domestic violence during the time you were first dating him… and you didn’t know about it until now?  Stacie’s story is one of betrayal, loss, disappointment, and then a rising from the ashes. After twenty-two years, she finally had the bravery to say “no” to abuse and say “yes” to loving the woman with her name. Follow along as she outlines the red flags that she saw when they were...

Many emotional abuse victims have been accused of having a victim mentality—as if the abuse isn’t real. Some victims don’t like to be labeled a “victim.” It sounds weak and powerless. Recently, one of my listeners asked this question: “How do we accept the reality of abuse without living as a victim?” In today’s episode we’re going to clear up this confusion by answering the following questions: What are ten characteristics of someone who has a victim mentality?  What are the ten...

Join us for a conversation with our special guest, Rebecca Davis, author of the “Untwisting Scriptures” series. Her latest book on brokenness and suffering is the topic of today’s conversation, and we answer questions like “Do you have to be broken to be a good Christian?” “Does God break us down like He breaks down the wicked?” “Is God like a gumball machine - you have to put something in to get something out?” Join us for today’s conversation.   Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a...

“How in the world am I going to tell my kids that we’re getting divorced?” Kids + divorce = a tricky topic, but I want to help calm your fears. I want to show you some questions you can ask yourself as you contemplate this big conversation with your children, and let’s give you some practical ideas as you introduce this new change in all of your lives. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive...

Is it me? Shelly thought it WAS her for so many years. “I must be the problem in my confusing marriage.” Today, our episode chronicles the story of her marriage to her second husband, a covert emotionally abusive man who even went so far as to *almost* convince her that she had Borderline Personality Disorder. Listen in as Shelly shares how she went from stuck to flying free.  Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an...

Today I want to explore the four common responses people have when they have experienced or are experiencing something that is threatening or traumatic. In particular, I want to focus on the fawning response and how that relates to our view of and our relationship with God. Let’s break down our responses of fight, flight, fawn, and freeze, and then destroy the false, abusive version of the God that we may have in our minds. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a...

Today I’m answering some more listener questions, including, “What do I do when I love my abusive husband so much?” “Should I give my abusive husband resources and books to read about his abuse?” and “Can my abusive husband change?” I KNOW you’ve thought of that last question yourself, so stick around, and let’s have a conversation about these important topics.  Key Points From This Episode: An analogy about Grown Man, Grown Woman, and Little Boy. How to break the cycle of abuse.  Why...

How do we help other women who are in emotionally abusive marriages? And how can the church help these women as well? In today’s episode, I’ll be answering a listener question about this very topic, and then I’m going to read you a letter I wrote to the church leadership at the church I was ultimately excommunicated from.  This letter highlights sixteen ways that the church can reach out and support the emotionally abused woman instead of re-abusing her, which is all too common. Key Points...

What do I do when people disagree with my decisions? Can I get remarried if I get a divorce? What if other people don’t believe I’m being emotionally abused? What if they think I’m making a big deal out of nothing? How will I get help?  These are the questions we’ll be diving into in today’s episode! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll...

Our relationships with our kids are important to us. We raised them from little babies and have deep connections with them, but when those relationships crumble, it can be devastating. Let’s answer some difficult questions about relationships with our kids and how we can navigate through them when our children disapprove of us and our decisions.  Questions We Answer in this Episode: “My young teenager went to live with their dad because they were upset I initiated a divorce. Will I ever be...

Today’s guest is Laurie Sullivan, a survivor of emotional abuse and sexual infidelity at the hands of her husband, a prominent leader in several churches they attended. Laurie outlines her story from getting married at age nineteen to a man she loathed in childhood to eventually finding freedom years later.  Christ is at the center of Laurie’s story, showing Himself to her throughout her custody battle for her children and her third marriage to a good man. Listen in to this eventful story of...

I’m finishing up a new book chronicling my relationship with myself and God through years of spiritual lies and emotional abuse. For the last few weeks I’ve been letting you into the creative process by sharing bits and pieces of my rough draft. Since the time of this recording, many things have already changed, and I’m excited to see how this book is transforming. I can’t wait to share the final version with you when it’s published in 2024. But for now, enjoy this last little sneak peek from...

I’m finishing up a new book chronicling my relationship with myself and God through years of spiritual lies and emotional abuse. Today’s episode is taken from part three where I begin to discover who I am, who God is, and what my responsibilities really are as I start to make my own life-altering decisions. Decisions that have changed my life in the best possible ways. Listen to part three and see if you can find yourself in my story.  Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If...

I’m finishing up a new book chronicling my relationship with God through years of spiritual lies and emotional abuse. Today I’m sharing a little bit of part two, this time written from the perspectives of different parts of me during my adult years. You’ll meet Freaked, Rosie, Melancholy, Rude, and more. If you’ve ever felt like part of you believes one thing and another part of you believes something completely different, rest assured, you aren’t alone! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie...

I recently finished writing the rough draft of a new book chronicling my relationship with God through years of spiritual lies and emotional abuse. Today, I’m sharing a little bit of part one, written from the perspective of my younger self.  Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me?...

You’ve probably read countless books and articles about marriage, how to be a good Christian wife, but if you’re in an abusive marriage, I’m here to tell you that these reading materials probably don’t apply to you. Many of the authors writing them don’t have any knowledge regarding abuse in Christian marriages, so there are no caveats, exceptions, or words for those women who are struggling with an abusive spouse.  In today’s episode, I take apart an article on marriage that I recently read...

"Till death do us part." Those words haunt you.  The enemy was supposed to be outside of your home and family. Easy to see. Protection just a prayer or a locked door away.  But the one stealing from and killing and destroying you is the one you lie beside at night. The one you promised your forever to. And he's counting on it.  You need to listen if: You're overcome with desperation to leave and consumed by guilt to stay Your husband is the greatest source of pain and harm in your...

Jessica Nagy is joining us today to talk about how to raise children to be resilient, even when their dad is destructive. No matter if your kids are spending time alone with their dad at his house because you are separated or divorced or if they are spending time with their dad while you are present, there is a lot of trauma that comes with having an emotionally abusive dad, and we as moms need to know how to help our kids become resilient in the face of this trauma. In this episode, you...

In today’s episode, we are going to be talking about the deep sadness that survivors experience as they begin to wake up to their reality and see the truth about their relationship. I get it — I was there. It took me a while to truly wake up to my reality, and when I did, that reality hit me like a ton of bricks. It was painful.  Let’s talk about noticing and normalizing our pain so that we can move from grief a bit more quickly than if we just stuffed it down, ignoring it and drowning it...

Cognitive dissonance seems like it would be a “bad” thing, right? It can actually be a very good thing, and vital to our growth! Take a deep breath - it’s okay if you’re experiencing cognitive dissonance.  In this episode, I break down what cognitive dissonance really is, why women in emotionally abusive marriages may experience a lot of cognitive dissonance, how cognitive dissonance can help us create better, healthier thoughts, and I also share three fun illustrations of cognitive...

Let’s answer some more listener questions today! These questions include, “How do I respond to my husband who says that ‘Your body belongs to me, and you don't have any biblical grounds to say no when I want sex’?” “How can we continue to do the work of unraveling purity culture's effects if we're not in a healthy marriage?” and “What type of counselor should I be looking for?”  If you’re looking for some Biblical truth, a *few* snarky comments, and some very practical advice, you’re looking...

Let’s get practical today. In this episode, I answer four listener questions by directing you to the best resources I can offer from the Flying Free Podcast. These questions range from “At what point do you refuse to have sex with your husband if he is emotionally abusive?” to “Any recommendations or resources as I go into divorce court?”  After you listen to the episode, be sure to go down to the “Related Resources” section of the show notes to grab all the links to the podcast episodes...