Today the topic is the energy of desperation in business. What inspired it is that someone emailed me the other week saying, ‘Can you please teach me how to be a blogger?’ There was even no subject line. I didn’t respond. More importantly, it didn’t trigger me. I didn’t feel the need to explain to him why this can’t be summed up in one email, why I can’t do the work on their behalf and why he must get out there and start doing their research. This is because I’ve worked on regulating my nervous system around these things. There are people in my inbox begging me to reduce my rates for sponsored collaborations daily, others wanting to publish guest posts on my site or to ask me general questions such as ‘how to make money’. Often, they include excuses in their emails as to why it can’t be as easy for them as it is for others, why they haven’t even started a blog or a business yet, and so on. If you’ve been following me for a while, you might know what I have to say about this. It’s not a business problem. It’s a mindset problem. Where I see opportunities for growth and income, they see barriers and hardships. They think life is unfair and business is not for everyone. While I try to embrace the challenging experiences and negative emotions that come with being self-employed, they avoid them. I have programmed my mind to know that I’m in this for the long haul and it doesn’t matter whether it takes one more year or 20 more to reach my goals. And they want quick wins. If they start something, they give up soon after. So we have the opposite mindsets about this. But I’m very familiar with theirs. I’ve been there and I still like to reflect on those early days and to hear the stories of other business owners who were also like that once. Obviously, that mental state and energy isn’t what will help you change your life, start a business, create something impactful online, and have a completely different reality a year or two from now. But what’s maybe the worst of it all is the energy of desperation. The energy of desperation The main examples that come to my mind are related to dating. You can have the most attractive and successful person wanting to date you and offering you the world. But if you smell some desperation, chances are you wouldn’t want to be near them. To be desperate is to beg for something, to make yourself so available for it that you leave everything else behind. You change who you are so you can please the other person or so you can fit the situation without actually wanting it. It’s to force something that doesn’t seem to be working out. Desperation is to be willing to do anything to get that person or thing, but not in an empowered and determined way. Instead, you overlook your values, you let others walk over you, you don’t even tune into your heart to check whether you truly want this and understand why. You just want it. Desperation actually repels what you desire. In terms of relationships, you pull people away. You appear clingy, possessive, not feeling worthy, and seeking validation from others.