Joy talks about taboo territory like incest porn, being HSV-2 positive, and trying out “water sports.” She has early memories of non-consensual experiences, which led to weak boundaries and a tendency towards dissociation and passivity. A hysterectomy and genital changes further changed her body and libido. She’s always enjoyed masturbation and has been unpartnered for some time; she’s ready to explore again.   Joy is a 44-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, monogamous, bisexual. She is post-menopausal and has had ovarian cancer and a full hysterectomy. She describes her body as pear-shaped and wears hearing aids.   Bookmark moments: 2:28 - Joy shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, cuddling with a pillow between her legs and then starting a relationship with her bathtub. 6:09 - Joy lost her virginity at age 14; she considers herself to have given consent but she also knows she dissociated, and remembers staring at a blooming tree out the window. There were indications of earlier trauma. 9:56 - She talks about a girlfriend she sometimes fooled around with, and a series of physical interactions in which she was not fully present and struggled with boundaries. 15:58 - Joy comes out to her father as bisexual. 18:42 - She finally experiences pleasure with a sort of friend who offers benefits. She feels passive at the beginning, but then she starts to really enjoy the sex. 23:36 - The relationship ends, and she has a few hookups. Unfortunately, she contracts herpes after one exchange. She opens up about how she managed it in subsequent relationships; she has both disclosed her status, and not disclosed her status. It’s a hard conversation. 32:57 - Her most recent past relationship was pretty vanilla. The longer one before involved some kink exploration, including “water sports.” 36:23 - She has a long-distance relationship with an older man; it doesn’t end well. There hasn’t been anyone since, just frequent masturbation. She’d been content alone until listening to the podcast and starting to wonder. 40:35 - Joy went through ovarian cancer a few years ago and she had to have a full hysterectomy. She talks about how it has impacted her body. One of the things she experienced was genital restructuring. Her orgasms and arousal have changed. 52:00 - They talk about how to be more present in one’s body.   The Lowdown: Joy answers questions about sex on her period, number of partners, favorite toy, favorite position, initiating, breast play, c**t stimulation vs penetration, orgasming, faking it, solo vs partnered, kinds of touch, hard red lines, dirty talk, porn, incest porn, hair vs bare, three-ways, blowjobs, swallowing, receiving oral, taste and smell, ass play, kink, dirty talk, favorite body part, least favorite body part, unmet desires, and old beliefs.   Resources: Sensational Body Scan - https://www.leahcarey.com/downloads/sensational-body-scan/   Patreon: All archived Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now available for FREE!  They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.  I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.   BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls   Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!   Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest   FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com