Episodes
Growing up in a conservative church, some kids don't even know being gay is an option. Add that to an ill-kept family secret, and Olivia became scared to orgasm as an adult. She shares how she went from Googling “naked bodies” to discovering assault survivor resources, and why she’s now exploring polyamorous dating. Olivia is a 24-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as mixed race with both African and Middle Eastern heritage, and she’s gay with an asterisk. She grew up in an...
Published 08/04/22
Published 07/21/22
The most important move for a great sexual experience: having the talk. STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym for conversations that lead to awesome consensual sex. In this episode, Samara and Caleb have the STARS talk. They've been in a relationship for 10 months of serious dating, ready to move in together, and already having good sex. Even so, they uncover several things that surprise them and will help them up-level their sex life. Samara is a 29-year-old cisgender female who describes...
Published 07/21/22
It's been a tough week. With the decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization, fully half of the American population has lost the ability to make health care choices for our own bodies. We are now more regressive on reproductive health than countries like Mexico. In this episode, we look at the grief many of us are feeling; the frustration of being a cis woman supporting our male partner's grief journey; and tactics to get help to people who need it most. Full show notes:  ...
Published 06/30/22
While a stutter may seem like an impediment to clear communication, Mia says it helped her identify a perfect partner. She talks about how an early experience of being "the other woman" continues to affect her feelings about relationships. Then, she and Leah discuss how to navigate changing bodies, waning attraction, and mismatched libidos. Mia is a 29-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, and engaged to be married. She grew up in a non-practicing...
Published 06/23/22
Purity ring, wedding ring ... cock ring?! After many conversations with people who have religious trauma around sexuality, it's a pleasure to finally welcome someone who grew up in conservative Christianity and has a healthy relationship with sex. Hannah opens up about how she and her husband navigated abstinence while still building a relationship based on trust and pleasure, and how they continued to nurture both after pregnancy loss. We also talk about sex during pregnancy and in the...
Published 06/09/22
People typically talk about an absence of sex as something gone wrong, followed by an array of advice to spice up, fix, rekindle, reboot, top down, bottoms up, laugh, cry, and eventually achieve perfect sex. But what if your life feels pretty perfect without it?  Kristen grew up in Purity Culture, so her lack of interest in dating was a plus as a teenager. But when she became an adult and still wasn't interested in dating, it became clear that something else was going on. Kristen eventually...
Published 05/26/22
Talk about coming full circle: when your friends-with-benefits from age 12 comes back around to become your life partner and literally make your deepest taboo fantasies come true. Rachel shares how she started kissing in daycare, experimented sexually in her teens, tried marriage and polyamory, learning BDSM and psychedelically-enhanced role playing along the way. Rachel is a 38-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as white, pansexual, monogamish, and partnered. She describes her...
Published 05/12/22
Rain Dove grew up with a birth certificate that listed gender as "F." For much of their life, they imagined that "F" stood for "Failure" to be properly "Female." Today Rain is a gender-bending model who walks runways for designers of both masculine- and feminine-coded clothing. Rain is also an activist working to make the world better for people of all genders, orientations, and more. Rain is currently assisting vulnerable people to escape Ukraine. What if gender is not just about g******s,...
Published 04/28/22
It's been a minute, but I'm back! In this episode, I talk about what's been going on and where I've been. Then, we take a deep dive into a question from Reddit about whether not saying "no" is the same as assault. Thank you to our episode sponsor: Beducated - Get a free trial PLUS lock in a rate that's 65% off FOREVER! Use the coupon code GOODGIRLSTALK. Sign up at: http://beducate.me/pd2208-goodgirlstalk  For full show notes and transcript go to:...
Published 04/14/22
Having trouble loving your body? In our culture that’s normal, no matter your shape or size. In a special crossover episode, Leah talks with Rachael and Kelsea on the Thick Thighs Save Lives podcast about how public nudity experiences along her journey sexual awakening transformed her understanding about what kinds of bodies are lovable. She gives tips on how to feel better naked, tune into what you want, and communicate it to your partner. Thanks to our episode sponsor: Kindra – try...
Published 02/17/22
Did you know when you say “I feel fat” it's actually code for something much deeper? In a special crossover episode, Leah talks with Kate and Haje on the Human Awareness podcast about body image and how many of us feel our personal worth is defined by how our body looks; how we think once we deal with body image issues they should be done and never recur; and how she learned to overcome numbness related to sexual touch. Episode sponsors: Dipsea Stories – go to...
Published 02/03/22
What happens when you discover the reason you've never been interested in sex is that you've been having the wrong kind of sex for your body? And that the mismatch at the root of your loving-but-sexless marriage is that your spouse doesn't want that kind of sex? Michelle, one of our most popular guests from the past, returns to talk about what has happened over the last two years, including beginning a domme/sub relationship with another woman. Michelle is a 44-year-old cisgender woman. She...
Published 01/20/22
Surprise! It's a bonus episode! Leah shares how she became a featured guest on the #1 sex and relationship advice podcast, and why it is such a big deal for her. Savage Lovecast episode - https://savage.love/lovecast/2022/01/04/a-study-of-hypno-porn/ Read excerpts of Leah's memoir-in-progress - https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/s9e0j0 Full show notes - https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/how-i-ended-up-on-dan-savages-podcast/
Published 01/13/22
How can kink un-kink you? Cate is a sex educator who discovered for themselves that kink can be therapy for chronic pain, emotional overwhelm, and neurodivergent patterns. Cate shares how they manage being ADHD, demisexual, non-monogamous, and pansexual, after surviving growing up Catholic. If you spend time thinking about gaming, fruit snacks, or ADHD you may already know Cate. You can find them on Twitch, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and more under the handle Catieosaurus. Thank you to our...
Published 01/06/22
Whether it’s secretly watching our parents’ porn or uninformative Sex Ed, most of us get inadequate information about sex. Liz learned to pleasure herself early on, then followed her instincts about who to kiss and when to have sex for the first time. The same inner compass led her to leave two marriages and advocate for her libido. Liz is a 44-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, pansexual (with a strong heterosexual lean), probably monogamous, and mid-divorce. She...
Published 12/23/21
Is it normal to want dating without hook-ups? And what if you don’t even know who you want to date?   When you’re on the asexual spectrum with bisexual attractions, it can be confusing to chart desire and create a relationship that works for you. Alice from South Africa talks about having very little sex education and a low sex drive, but still finding her way.   Alice is a 23-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, and single. She’s not sure how to define her sexual...
Published 12/09/21
How do you know you’re queer if you don’t even know that’s an option? It’s hard to imagine what we can’t see. Julia takes us through confusing early fantasies to landing that first girl-kiss to realizing what it means to love people with vaginas in all their gender presentations. Now she wants to start exploring anal play. Julia is a 27-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, queer, monogamous, and she doesn’t have kids. She still gets a regular period and describes her...
Published 11/24/21
What happens when a girl grows up in purity culture and gets married to the first boy who pays attention to her, just so she can have sex? Is purity culture religious abuse? In this episode we hear that story from Gabby. She is a 34-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight but open to exploring, currently non-monogamous with three recurring partners. She has two sons, is pre-menopausal, and describes her body as curvy.   Bookmark topics: Gabby grew up in purity...
Published 11/11/21
Joy talks about taboo territory like incest porn, being HSV-2 positive, and trying out “water sports.” She has early memories of non-consensual experiences, which led to weak boundaries and a tendency towards dissociation and passivity. A hysterectomy and genital changes further changed her body and libido. She’s always enjoyed masturbation and has been unpartnered for some time; she’s ready to explore again.   Joy is a 44-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white,...
Published 10/28/21
Brenda grew up in a “sex silent” household and transitioned right into purity culture. For a naturally highly sexual person, this spelled dysfunction and disaster. She found her way out of abuse and repression, went through a period of intense exploration, and she is now an advocate and educator for other survivors of religious trauma. She shares her truth publicly and celebrates all of her experiences—even the “dark” ones, as they have anchored her learning along the healing journey.     ...
Published 10/14/21
Kay is our youngest guest yet, and she lets us in on how her generation is exploring sex differently because they’re the first with easy access to p*rn. She has dated people of multiple genders, and realized she loves all bodies. Despite her young age, Kay has already learned hard lessons about toxic relationships, trust, and consent.   Kay is an 18-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as Black, pansexual, monogamous, and in a relationship. She grew up Catholic and describes her...
Published 09/30/21
Caz is an open book with a ton of chapters: a non-binary disability advocate kink-loving trauma survivor pain/pleasure early wayfinder who left live sex shows for the dating apps. The extraordinary roads they had to navigate led them to know themselves intimately, and helped them learn to accept, manage, and finally enjoy bodily pain. Caz is a 40-year-old, non-binary person who was assigned female at birth. They describe themselves as queer, non-monogamous and single. They’ve had a...
Published 09/16/21
Tori grew up in a church that preached purity culture, which mostly taught her what she didn’t want—a life with far more shame than sex, compounded by firmly fixed instructions around gender. She followed her pleasure down roads less traditionally traveled and created polyamorous and non-monogamous relationships with people across the gender spectrum. It works for her, her partners, and the children for whom she wants to make a better, healthier world. Tori is 37-years-old. She describes...
Published 09/02/21
Tammy is a listener-turned-guest who takes us into her American Jewish culture and shares how that shaped her early experiences around sex and marriage, and led her into situations that were unhealthy and downright dangerous. She dedicated herself repeatedly to making a better life for herself and her children—a life that hopefully includes serious sexual satisfaction and positive role-modeling for her children. Tammy is a 33-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, Jewish,...
Published 08/19/21