I talked to absolute ledge and internet iconoclast Adam J. Kurtz AKA @ AdamJK AGES AGO but figured Cyber Monday was the perfect time to unleash this. Mostly because we both find the entire concept of Cyber Monday sort of hilarious? In any case, we get really vulnerable and honest about how success can be weirdly tinged with shame and dish about our feeeeeeeelings around money. I love this man and find tremendous comfort in his illustrations and aphorisms.

A conversation about mental health, physical health and the second coming-of-age that you experience as an artist of color. Plus, how to hone your own voice and vision as you learn how to stop emulating others. And how—deadass—Eric was almost an accountant.

A beautiful, tender conversation about artistic process, anxiety and self-fulfillment. And how emails are so stressful and IG DMs are better.

Fear has no arms and legs. It’s only when it compels you to action or inaction that it can truly bite you. This is for those days that you feel entitled to things you can’t seem to find—wisdom, insight, skill—and the self-loathing that can come from this hubris. Another reminder that creativity and recovery are not linear and accepting where you are TODAY can be a salve.

This is about those days where you build little belief systems around every action. Where you think there’s a right and wrong answer to everything from what you eat to the order in which you do things. Those fearful, superstitious days where you’re convinced that just knowing the outcome will help you move forward despite knowing in your heart that it’s a recipe for total standstill.

Do you ever get confused when the work that is fluid and loose and maybe even a little easy isn’t the work that you intended to make? This is about how the work that comes most naturally may not be what you want to explore and how distracting and flummoxing the experience can be.

This episode is about competitive spirituality and cataclysmic thinking around recovery. And how “vague dressing” helps me get out the door on summer days when there’s too much pressure to be #Fashion.

This is about indecision, how you can feel dread around the right decision for you, and being superstitious about the “right” way to do creative work because of the seductive nature of the muse narrative.

Hey, Cool Job Episode 36: SNL's Bowen Yang by Mary H.K. Choi

Okay, so you might be a perfectionist even if you’re messy and slightly lazy. But you also might be emotionally immature as a person who was considered precocious since forever. How to deal with the world when you’re conflict avoidant to the point of being people avoidant.

Some days are challenging and that's okay. This is a gentle reminder that feelings are not facts and that your version of a story can become more neutral and less painful with time. (As long as you don’t apply a thing to that feeling or try to “fix it” or seek revenge.)

This is about that negative headspace. Where you feel like you’re in the upside down or a sunken place of your own making because you regret a decision about work or where you elected to be. This is also about how to gently move through it, stay curious about what you can learn and channeling that data into gratitude.

Hey, Cool Job Episode 35: Of A Kind's Erica Cerulo And Claire Mazur by Mary H.K. Choi

How I prepare for overwhelmingly exciting, challenging and vulnerable events as an anxious introvert. (Aka: Book promo is a gift and a curse)

This is about bad days. Where you feel like you’re doing all the work and yet you still get walloped by large overwhelming feelings of shame and pain. Days where all you can do is find solace in impermanence and eventually find words to talk about it.

What do you allow yourself to want? And is it limited by the shame in admitting what you may not achieve? Or are your delusions of grandeur and magical thinking clouding the things you can truly work towards?

Addictions as parasitic organisms that have a strong biological imperative to survive. And how it’s surprising what materials they’ll use as fuel.

Is Instagram a necessary tool to stay abreast of your industry or is it noise in which you lose your own voice and vision?

Are you a sleeper perfectionist? To where you’re not Type A so you think you can’t be (and you might even think you’re “lazy”) but you get super anxious and discouraged when things don’t go according to Your Plan?

This one is about seeking help for abusing work as my eating disorder gets quieter.

Deadlines, taxes, skirmishes with reality. This is a small prayer for a tough week.

Phone calls part 2! Why we have to have them. Why you can’t fail at them. And how to get out of the obsession that the other person is judging you.

Phone calls! Chapter 1: How to endure the performance anxiety and the dread of work calls. And what to do when you have to have one!

What if there’s no getting “better” at anything? Will you be free or will you bug out?