I've been thinking about this episode for a while, and since it's coming up soon, I decided some reflection is good after a few years.   Today is my thousandth day of sobriety. Does that mean that I wrote and recorded this episode in advance? Yes. Yes, it does.

well, here we are. nearly 5 months on the road, and this season, it feels different.   last year, i was blissfully unaware of how much money i was spending without replenishing for around the first 4 months. then the last 2 months became so stressful that i couldn't wait to get home.   this season, i left about 2 months earlier, and by month 3, i was already feeling that paycheck-to-paycheck dread that had me moving money out of my investments and racking up credit card debt to try to get...

If you've ever wanted to live in your van, but you've thought, "How in the hell can I make money on the road?" then this episode is for you.

so it's been a while since i've been motivated to put something together for you all.    i've spent most of my free time trying to build my business and teaching myself something new almost every day.   it's caused a bit of burnout from time to time, so i have to remember to put the work away and give myself a break. 

so i'm not gonna lie, craig - i'm past the point of empty right now.  i'm exhausted mentally.  every day, 7 days a week from before sun up to past sunset, i am at my computer working. there are so many gears going at once, and i have to constantly switch them up that i feel like i'm not being efficient with my time. even right now, as i record this, and probably even while i'm listening to it back in editing, i'll be thinking, "there are other things that i need to be doing right now." ...

happy february everybody. i did the thing i said i was gonna do. i fired myself. i'll be honest, this is the only time i've ever left a job without having "another job" lined up.  but blue, have you lost your damn mind? is this some kind of mid life crisis where you desperately cling to delusions of no responsibilities no working make hippie amanda something something? yes! and no! i don't know yet!

if it sounds like i recorded this episode while buried underground, it's because i did. spooky.

so i think i quit my job. and i don't have another job lined up.  follow along as i contemplate throwing myself into a den of lions in this episode of "what the f**k have you done, blue?"

this is a van life episode. i'm gonna answer a few of the weird questions i get when people find out i live in my great white shark. some of my favorites are: "what do you like, do in here?" "doesn't it get hot?" "how do you poop?" and my favorite assumption - "sooo i guess you don't shower?"

i think on a previous episode, i spoke about how i'm always pushing several balls forward, very slowly, but it's happening. some balls roll forward for days and weeks, months even, while some balls get left behind. i'll glance over my shoulder at those couple of sad balls, but instead of abandoning them like i probably should, i give them a couple of nudges forward, hoping that will be enough to give them a purposeful life. but it's fruitless. sometimes it's for naught. did i use that...

i was going to make this episode about PRIORITIES, but while thinking about these priorities, i realized that i've neglected to check up on all of you. it's been a while since someone has asked me how i am. and considering the title of this podcast, i'm not really sure the last time i've asked how you all are doing, not just on the surface, in a superficial way.

this episode is a van episode - we gotta talk about how f*****g hot it gets in your van during the summer. i've been living in my van now for over 500 days, and the humidity and heat in southern texas will kill you if you let it.

does anybody else suffer from sudden, immense pangs of guilt from decisions that you made with your own best interests in mind? like, all you're doing is doing something for yourself, not anything crazy or illegal, you're just making a mildly selfish decision. we all do this. but then i do it, and i hear that voice in the back of my head talkin shit.

i just want this gosh dang quarantine to be over with already.

financial independence... is it a mindset or for real for real? we're talking about MONEY, my favorite topic because maybe if i talk about it enough, some will finally appear.

stop thinking every single thing through. let me lay out for you the basic essentials you need to get started with van dwelling full-time. hint: it’s less than you think.

i think it's time for us to get off social media. you are a brand online. and if you're not the brand, you are the product.

how's it goin, vandwellers? probably not so well. gyms are closed. most state parks, closed. libraries, bars, closed. lots of people are unable to work. everyone is practicing social distancing. which i find fascinating because i've been practicing social distancing since 3rd grade and i'm happy to see everyone else finally catching on...

are you spending money on a storage unit full of stuff you don't use? well, stop it. you're being silly. instagram @tripvanstinkle / @blueaesthetics

we're coming up on some important dates, and i wanna spend a little time flexin on you guys. instagram @tripvanstinkle / @blueaesthetics sponsored by ramblinvanradio.com all day e'er day

recorded this while i was sick af. the things you sacrifice for a little asian persuasion... no pigeons. or scrubs. whatever you guys call it these days. recognize one when you see them, and learn to say no.

everything is temporary. that job that you don’t like. the car you’re driving. the apartment you’re renting. the bad day you’re having. your favorite jacket eventually ends up in the donation pile. you crack your favorite pipe. your friends die. dog runs away. it’s all temporary, for better or for worse.

eyyy look at you guys still alive, still listening to the sound of my voice. somehow I am still alive, likely by the harsh grace of some select few family members. let's talk about money. it's the only thing i'm in control of right now.

as 2019 shuts the f**k down, i wanna close with some words from uncle snoop.