"Stephen, I know you can't tell me an exact timeframe, but based on your experience, how much longer do you think this separation will last? How long 'til she comes back? How long til she pushes through the divorce?"   I get this sort of question a lot, and I understand why. Separation is hard. Being able to have some reasonable expectation of how much road you have left to travel would help you set realistic expectations.   Obviously I can't predict the future, but today I'm going to...

Show notes for this episode at https://husbandhelphaven.com/marcus-interview/ Not every story has a happy ending. Or maybe, the happy ending isn't always what we believe it will be. That's exactly the case for Marcus Farris, a former Peace & Control student who is now living on the other side of divorce. In today's episode, we sit down to talk honestly about what happened in his marriage, separation and divorce. He bares his heart and shares all his struggles and successes that he...

In the last episode, we talked about how to get out of your wife's friend zone when you're early in the separation... But what about when you're beginning to rebuild the marriage on the other side of separation? What do you do when your wife is starting to come back, but can't seem to get those pesky "feelings" back? That's the subject of this week's episode. We'll talk about developing an effective mindset to survive this phase of separation, and what you can do to lead the way from a...

"Stephen, my wife and I get along great, but she has no attraction to me. I think I'm stuck in her friend zone. What should I do?" This is the question we'll be answering on today's episode of the Husband Help Haven Podcast. I'll tell you right now, I don't particularly like the term "friend zone", but it's one that many separated men use when describing their current relationship with their wife. In this episode, I'll tell you why I don't like the term, what I think the actual problem is,...

Thankfulness and marital separation seem like they'd go together about as well as oil and water... What could you possibly have to be thankful for when your life as you knew it has been thrown into upheaval? In this episode, we're going to talk about three things: Why thankfulness is important and how it will help you navigate separation better Specific things you can be thankful for, even when you're separated What you should do when gratitude feels impossible Whether you're celebrating...

The holidays can be tricky when you're separated. Made worse by the fact that the new year is often a time where a separated wife may choose to move forward with divorce. How do you make the most of this holiday season if you're already separated? What can you do to get the best possible chance of positively impacting your wife's decision about the marriage? What if your wife has already come out and told you she plans to file after Christmas? In this episode, I'll share the 7 most common...

Today's episode is in response to a recent question I got from a guy named JD. Basically, his wife is doing things that he feels are truly unacceptable, so his fear is that continuing to forgive her will simply enable her bad behavior. I love this question because it highlights two important concepts that often come into play during separation: Forgiveness and boundaries. How do these two concepts coexist? Should you continue forgiving your wife even when she's breaking the boundaries of...

Today we're answering three reader-submitted questions: Question #1 - How do you have an open and honest conversation with your wife while you're separated? Question #2 - If you were the one to have an affair, do you do anything different to try and get your wife back? Question #3 - If your wife starts warming up to you AFTER you've stopped saying 'I love you', should you start trying to be affectionate again? Since each of these questions were submitted by a Husband Help Haven subscriber,...

Today's episode is a little different. Instead of direct separation-related strategy, we're going to talk about two important reasons to do the hard, but good thing in your marriage. Most HHH readers / listeners can identify with doing the hard, but good thing. After all, being the only one to fight for your marriage is exactly that. When you do the right thing, the good thing, when the outcome isn't guaranteed, when even recognition for trying isn't guaranteed... Is it worth it? In this...

Trust is something we've talked a lot about on Husband Help Haven, and for good reason. It is a prerequisite that must be in place before you can rebuild romantic love with your wife. In today's episode, we're going to talk more in-depth about what exactly trust means in a relationship and what elements of trust may be missing or damaged in YOUR relationship. Then, we'll talk about three unconventional - but powerful - ways you can look to rebuild trust with a separated wife, even when...

How do you endure a separation that drags on for months on end? In today's episode, I'm sharing the 5 most common reminders that I give to men who are in long-lasting separations. For example, how do you keep the ball rolling once the relationship starts to improve? How do you handle a wife that keeps bringing up divorce, but still hasn't filed? How do you stay stable and consistent through the chaos of separation? Spoiler alert, these are the things that you probably already know, or...

Over time, I've noticed that there tend to be four major stages between marriage and divorce... Those four stages of separation are: She says she wants out Plans are made to live separately Someone moves out Divorce is filed Today's episode covers these stages in what I call the Separation Roadmap. It is an overview of each one of these stages with answers to a few key questions about each one. What's going through her head? What mistakes do men tend to make at this stage? What have I...

Today we'll be wrapping up the Get Your Wife Back With... series with a look at enforcing boundaries during separation. Learn how enforcing boundaries can be the thing that sparks your wife to change course and rethink leaving the marriage Yes, believe it or not, I have seen marriages saved when the husband draws a line and enforces a boundary. The most common way this is done is with an ultimatum... "Do this, or else that will happen." "End the affair, or else I'm moving forward with...

Can friendship pave the way back to a happy marriage? In the fourth episode of the Get Your Wife Back With... series, we're looking at how to get your wife back with friendship. Seems simple on the surface, but we'll talk about when it works best, signs that you're doing it right, and a couple extra things to know when trying to compete with some of the new friends your wife may have made for herself during the separation. Plus, we'll talk about how to get your wife on the same page with...

How do you get your wife back with fatherhood? Can stepping up as a father help you rebuild connection and trust with your wife during separation? If so, how? In part 3 of the Get Your Wife Back With... series, we will examine the role of good parenting and how that can help bridge the gap of separation to find common ground with your wife. Obviously, this only applies if you have kids, but for fathers going through separation, this episode will go in-depth on everything you need to know to...

In the second episode of our 5-part Get Your Wife Back With... series, we are taking a look at how to get your wife back with space. No, I don't mean staring up at the stars together, I mean shifting your attitude towards distance in the relationship during separation. Most separated wives ask for space at one point or another. In this episode, we'll talk about how you can respond to that desire for space in a way that sets you up for future reconciliation. More specifically, we'll talk...

The first of a five-part Get Your Wife Back With... series, in this episode we will talk about how to get your wife back with attraction. Attraction - something we talk a lot about here on Husband Help Haven - is the feeling that creates a wanting from your wife for the marriage. Often, it's one of the biggest things missing by the time a marriage hits the point of separation. In this episode, we'll dive deep into attraction during separation. You'll learn what your goal should be for...

Why is trust the #1 thing we focus on throughout the 3+1 Separation Strategy? Why is trust so important in rebuilding the foundation of a future happy marriage with your wife? In the final episode episode of our 4-part series, we will explore what trust means in your relationship, why it MUST be the starting point for reconciliation, and the process you must follow to rebuild trust with your wife.

With self-control and self-improvement in place, we begin looking at how you can start showing your wife the man she could have if she stays. The third and final step of the 3+1 Separation Strategy is where we harness the work of the first two steps in a way that begins improving your relationship with your wife. In this episode, you'll learn how to start seeing the opportunities available to you in your separation. We will do this through two powerful questions that help you see what your...

The second step of the 3+1 Separation Strategy is all about self-improvement. With self-control firmly in place, we can harness that discipline to start making meaningful changes in you as a man, husband and father. In this episode, I'll walk you through a few different ways you can pinpoint the type of man you want to be, and identify specific changes you can make to start working towards that man.

What's the very first thing I tell a separated man who wants to save his marriage? Stop the desperation, focus on what you can control. That's the first step of the 3+1 Separation Strategy, which is my go-to advice for most men who want to get their wife back from separation. It's a three step strategy working towards a singular goal of rebuilding trust in your relationship. In this episode, you'll overview the entire 3+1 Separation Strategy, and then we'll go in-depth on the first step.