Pat was feeling empty so Ben goes hard in the paint explaining the liberating Buddhist philosophy of Nagarjuna. Considered one of the most influential philosophers in Asian history and a pioneer in early Buddhist thought, Nagarjuna extrapolated the twin pillars of Buddhist philosophy: Emptiness and dependent arising. Wrap your mind around these non-concepts, putos! (Part One) Also: patreon.com/ILearnedNothing. Give us money for bonus episodes!

Pat was feeling unique so Ben blasts his precious little perspective right out of the water by introducing him to the Twin Earth thought experiment. In one fell swoop, Ben destroys Pat's commitment to semantic internalism thanks to Hilary Putnam and his view that "meaning just ain't in the head." If you know anything about philosophy of language, you'll recognize this thought experiment for the earth shattering mental exercise that it is. If you know nothing about philosophy of language, F**K...

Pat was feeling murderous so Ben tamps that rage with the devout moral reasoning of near-canonized Catholic saint and Wittgenstein acolyte Gertrude Elizabeth Margaret Anscombe. One of the big heavy hitters of Ordinary Language Philosophy and pioneer of Virtue Ethics, G.E.M. Anscombe started her career as a Catholic convert, then Wittgenstein's protege/favorite, then went toe-to-toe with the 20th Century's greatest mass murder, Harry S. Truman over his trigger-happy bombings of innocent...

Pat was feeling glib so Ben cruelly reminds him to follow the rules. That's right. In this GROUNDBREAKING episode, Ben teaches Pat about the fastidious ethical theory of Deontology, a theory ensuring everyone gets a fair shake, regardless of the consequences. Made famous by Pat's enemy Immanuel Kant and his Categorical Imperative, Deontology asserts that most important in moral consideration is the duty and obligation one has to follow ethical rules and adhering to the Right over merely the...

Pat was feeling submissive so Ben finished him off with the ultimate submission move: Islam. In this episode, Ben rounds out our discussion about Islamic philosophy with a stirring overview of the Sufi GOAT Ibn Arabi and his face-melting concept call Wahdat-ul-Wujud, or "The Unity of Being." Essentially, we are each and all the multiplicity of creation emanated by Allah's Oneness. God is all that truly exists and we are but shadows made discernible by his light. Whatever that means. Listen to...

Pat was feeling haram, so Ben sat his infidel ass down and explained to him the groundbreaking philosophical developments unleashed by the Islamic world. Centuries before Christian thinkers like Thomas Aquinas and Albertus Magnus (Latin for Fat Albert) were even potty trained, Muslim philosophers from Spain to Persia shed a guiding light on the other wise very Dark Ages. This dream team includes the likes of Avicenna (Ibn Sina), Ibn Arabi, and Al Ghazali, who expounded on the metaphysical...

Pat was feeling the weight of Destiny, so Ben inducts him into the school of Hard (lol) Determinism. Ever thought that your decisions mean nothing and that your entire life is pre-scripted. Ever felt like your very existence is just another cog in a predetermined, finely tuned and set Cosmic Watch? Well guess what. YOU'RE RIGHT! Everything that has ever happened, is happening, and will happened has been determined by the laws of nature (or the Will of God) since the very beginning of time,...

Pat was feeling pretty self-conscious so Ben explains it's because of all his damn Qualia, stupid! Qualia is a concept in philosophy of mind referring to that mushy notion of what it's like to experience something, like the color red, the smell of wet ham, or feeling cool as hell. It's that certain je ne sais quois of how life feels as our subjective consciousness navigates the objective world. Do they only apply to emotions? Sense-data? Can they be further applied to thoughts, memories? Some...

Pat was feeling continental (Ooh La La!) so Ben initiated him in the lurid, orgiastic pleasures of Continental Philosophy, Analytic Philosophy's evil twin brother (goatee and all). Pat and Ben explore the landscape of Continental philosophical tradition through the lens of 90's NBA basketball for a meandering 15 minutes before outlining the different schools that fill out the Continental mosaic: You got your German Idealism, your Marxism, your Phenomenology, Existentialism, Structuralism, and...

Pat was feeling Anglo-American so Ben submerged him in the frothy waters of Analytic Philosophy. In this thrilling episode, Pat discovers the Epic Beef between two of contemporary philosophy's fiercest rivals. ANALYTIC VERSUS CONTINENTAL PHILOSOPHY. LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRUBMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLE. (Check out our Patreon: patreon.com/ilearnednothing)

Pat was feeling fractured about our current stage of history so Ben soothes what ails him by singing him the dulcet tones of Postmodernism. Jk that shit is discordant af. Ben gets into the main themes of Postmodern thought (if you can say there are any) such as the Fragmentation of Subjectivity, the Destruction of Narratives, and the soul-devouring effects of Late-Capitalism and Hyperreality. Pat loved it! And you will too! Don't forget to check out our Patreon for more KNOWLEDGE:...

Pat was feeling some kinda way so Ben walks him through the life and thought of W. E. B. Du Bois, Black American philosopher and co-founder of the NAACP. Welcome to the barbecue.

Pat was feeling mythical so Ben unveils the ur-motif of all of humanity's drama: The Monomyth. Conceived by Joseph Campbell in his seminal work "The Hero with A Thousand Faces", the Monomyth, AKA The Hero's Journey, takes a page from Freud's theory of psychoanalysis and Carl Jung's theory of the Collective Unconscious to explain the human phenomenon of myth as template by which to navigate life's punctuated stages and their accompanying crises and traumas. While Campbell's theory has plenty...

Pat was feeling trapped so Ben tuned him on to the wacky linguistic thought experiment developed by Ben's Main Man Ludwig Wittgenstein. Are humans capable of having a private language? Not just shibboleth for your crew but a private language only YOU know about? Wittgenstein says NO, you idiot. And it has something to do with a beetle in a box. F**k you.

Pat was feeling sluggish so Ben ramps him up to accept the new outrun philosophy of Accelerationism all over his face. The WisdomBois begin with a quick recap of Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guatarri's theory of deterritorialization and cap it off with a snappy rundown of Marx's thoughts on Late Capitalism and its prophesied self-destruction before exploring Accelarationism's darker, right-wing side espoused by British philosopher/t**t Nick Land. This one's a wild one so strap in. We love you....

Pat was feeling contrarian so he personally asks Ben to finally outline the philosophical objections to Utilitarianism. These include, in order of hilarity, The Repugnant Conclusion, The Utility Monster, The Demandingness Objection, The Paradox of Hedonism, and The Replaceability Argument. Listen to find out what any of that means! Also, don't forget to join our Patreon, where for $5 a month, Pat teaches Ben something for a change, like how James Gandolfini should be cast in the MCU if he...

Pat was feeling jolly (lol get it? Xmas?) so Ben regales him with more tales about the expansive ethical theory known as Utilitarianism. Why? Because it's Christmas! Ignore the fact that this episode is 2 days late for that. Because get this: Utilitarianism stipulates that what is good is to increase joy & happiness for the greatest number of people. Especially children! And who's better at that than that fat f**k Santa Claus. You're welcome bitches! Merry Christmas!

Pat was feeling shrewd so Ben clued him in on the HOTTEST ethical theory of the past 3 centuries: Utilitarianism! That's right folks. Ben and Pat are tackling Utilitarianism and you better believe it's a motherfucking two-parter. Conceived by the debauched mind of Jeremy Bentham and developed by English philosopher, MP, and fiend John Stuart Mill, Utilitarian is a consequrentialist theory of morality that operates under the central axiom that "it is the greatest happiness of the greatest...

Pat once trusted the bedrock reliability of logic so Ben went ahead and shattered that nonsense by teaching him about The Liar's Paradox, the oldest, most stubborn, and most infuriating logical paradox in the history of paradoxes, SON! Check THIS out: "This sentence is false." Is the preceding sentence true? Or false? If it's true, then it's false. If it's false, then it's true. What the?! Tune in to find out how mad Pat get's as we try to solve this humdinger. Also, for more truth,...

Folks! Put on some sunscreen and pull out your floaties because Pat & Ben are taking you on a tropical, aquatic adventure! We're releasing one of our COVETED Patreon episodes so you can get a taste of what you've been missing. In this installment, Pat teaches Ben about possibly the most ludicrous experiment in the history of science. What happens when you mix a loony neuroscientist, a 22 year old intern, 3 dolphins, and the 1960s in a house full of water? Listen to find out! Spoilers: It...

Pat was feeling righteous so Ben finishes him off with the thrilling conclusion of our two part series, The Philosophy of Religion. If you learn nothing else, learn this: If you're not Catholic, you're going to Hell.

Pat was feeling epiphanic so Ben brings him into the fold. The Religious Fold, that is! Don't worry. We haven't gone religious. But Pat couldn't help ask: What does is it all mean, Basil? And why is God involved? It seems that we as humans always need to talk about the Great Beyond, even if (or especially because) we claim to not believe in it. What a world! Listen in as Ben and Pat talk about what and why we believe in Him, Her, They, It and whatever you call Religion! (tl;dr Roman...

Pat was feeling empathetic so Ben continues to interrogate Pat about his thoughts on Artificial Intelligence and their capacity to feel. Do androids dream of electric sheep? Or will their thoughts be lost in time like tears in rain? Also, in a stunning twist, Ben presents Pat with a thought experiment involving love, betrayal, friendship, and Allen Iverson (AI). Listen in to the epic conclusion of our AI ethics.

Pat was feeling robotic so Ben electrifies him with a spirited discussion about the Ethics of AI (Allen Iverson). In this heavy two-parter, Ben & Pat explore the philosophical & ethical implications of Artificial Intelligence. At what point can Artificial Intelligence be considered to have an inner, subjective life akin to humans? Would such being have rights and responsibilities like other moral agents? Can a robot be programmed to be the Funniest Person In Austin? The answers to...