Discovering you have been betrayed is an extreme life-altering moment. Knowing what to do or where to turn next can feel insurmountable. In this episode I share 4 thoughts as a “pep talk” for the betrayed partner. Join me as I outline encouraging messages and steps to help you through the disclosure process and moving forward. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust?...

The road after a betrayal and disclosure can be long and arduous. In this episode I share 4 thoughts as a “pep talk” for the recovering partner who is inevitably facing extreme discomfort and uncertainty. Stepping into disclosure is an intense, demanding experience, but the aftermath is the time to really do the work as an individual and to support your partner in their new reality. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at...

The need to be accepted, combined with the fear of abandonment and rejection can lead us into becoming what other people want us to be while hiding who we truly are. This can drive us to deceit, manipulation, lies, and betrayal. In this episode I have invited Dr. Robert Glover to discuss his book, “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. Join us as we discuss the need for emotional honesty and authenticity in order to build healthy connections. Dr. Glover also covers the impact of fathers and generational...

This week we are re-visiting an episode that aired one year ago, but is an important topic that is continually relevant as we navigate the ups and downs of life. Life is full of situations that are out of our control. Once we have recovered from the initial shock of what has happened, how do we proceed? Do we continue to live as if we are powerless? Or do we make choices that we can control to heal and move forward? We have to be accountable and conscious with how we respond to what happens...

It's common for betrayed partners to wonder if they'll ever be themselves again. Enduring sleepless nights, constant stress, and regular emotional breakdowns can cause doubt that there can be a future worth looking forward to. This month we are going to focus on how betrayed partners can build resilience in the aftermath of betrayal. We've invited therapist and betrayal expert, Kaylee Dunn, to discuss how betrayed partners can begin developing more resilience in the face of devastating loss...

Narcissism has gained momentum in everyday conversation. While many individuals exhibit varying degrees of narcissistic tendencies, true Narcissistic Personality Disorder needs much more attention and diagnosing than a mere accusation. In this episode we welcome Tony Overbay to discuss the difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism. Join us as we break down both and the importance of understanding narcissism, emotional immaturity, and the challenges they present in relationships....

One of the biggest casualties men experience, often when they are boys, is getting separated from their own hearts and living life on autopilot. Addictions, trauma, abandonment, and other challenges can create more separation and make it difficult for men to feel alive and energized. It can also make it difficult to connect to themselves, to God, and their most important relationships. We invited Kurt Francom, a board member of the non-profit men's organization, "Warrior Heart", to join us...

Communication in a marriage or committed relationship isn't always easy, especially in the aftermath of betrayal. We've invited fellow therapist Nathaniel Gustafson to teach us more about the four levels of communication and how to improve your ability to build a stronger connection. We make a special emphasis on how this can help men, who are often socialized to avoid anything emotional, deepen their ability to connect with their partner. Listen to this great discussion and make sure to...

We've invited Julia Witt to join us for a great discussion on transactional versus transformational relationships. Geoff discovered Julia when someone sent him a Tik Tok video of her discussing this topic. He knew he had to invite her to share more with our community. Transactional relationship dynamics are so common, especially in couples healing from broken trust. So many guys who are trying to rebuild trust want to do the right things, but then inadvertently create a dynamic that creates...

In this episode we are joined by Jason Portnoy, who wrote a memoir called “Silicon Valley Porn Star”. Jason shares his personal journey of addiction, infidelity, and self-discovery. We discuss the importance of surrendering and taking responsibility for unhealthy patterns in order to heal, grow, and overcome addiction. As with any personal recovery story, please recognize that comparisons and criticism are normal reactions, as you may not agree with or do some of the same things he and his...

In this episode we discuss the topic of rebuilding trust and healing from betrayal. The concepts of 'worthiness' and 'trust' often get confused, and it is extremely important to maintain a clear distinction. 'Worthiness' is someone's inherent human value, which is unchangeable regardless of their actions, while 'trust' is about behavior patterns, competencies, values, and is earned by consistency and reliability. Join me as we caution against conflating these issues, as it can create...

When we have injuries, losses, disappointments, betrayals, and other painful things happen in our marriages, healing rituals are a way we can mark that things are different. We use rituals all the time to symbolically mark changes in our lives, such as graduation ceremonies, funerals, weddings, birthdays, baptisms, etc. We live in a world of symbols and meaning and we can use these things to help us move through our healing. We invited marriage and family therapist, Amanda Christensen, to...

When you're healing from betrayal trauma, it's completely normal to still wonder how to keep the relationship alive. If you're completely done with the relationship, then this video isn't for you. However, if you are working toward relationship recovery or you think you want to move toward that as a goal, join in this discussion I had with KayLee Dunn during her "Love You Now" betrayal trauma summit.  The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or...

Most couples never imagine they could find themselves in the crisis of an extramarital affair. The slope is slippery and every couple is at risk for infidelity issues unless they have intentionality and boundaries around their marriage.  We are joined in this episode by Shannon Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, who specializes in affair recovery. We discuss the risk factors couples should be aware of when protecting their marriage from infidelity. The majority of affairs in...

In this episode we are wrapping up our 4-part series and focusing on spiritual intimacy. Join us as we not only discuss deepening spiritual intimacy when both individuals are on the same page, but as we explore the challenges that arise when couples have different beliefs, or when one person’s beliefs shift. These changes can feel threatening to the relationship, but we will dive into the importance of curiosity, communication, and respect in balancing the dynamics of spiritual intimacy. The...

In this episode we continue the discussion on intimacy, this time focusing on intellectual intimacy. Intellectual intimacy is the sharing of ideas, perspectives, and opinions, possibly challenging others’ beliefs, while simultaneously being willing to hear and learn someone else’s viewpoints. Join us as we discuss how asynchronous communication can impact intellectual intimacy in relationships, what to do when one partner hijacks conversations, the importance of curiosity, and tips to...

In today’s episode we continue the discussion on intimacy, this time focusing on emotional intimacy. Sharing your deepest thoughts, feelings, and fears requires safety and vulnerability. Join us as we discuss the importance of emotional intimacy and ways to improve and nurture this in your most valued relationships. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my...

When the term “physical intimacy” is used, do you immediately assume that sexual contact is being inferred? In this episode we discuss the importance of healthy physical intimacy in a relationship and why that doesn’t always mean sex. Join us as we outline the additional benefits of prioritizing platonic touch, physical proximity, and more in relationships. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code...

Sometimes betrayed partners struggle to manage the anger resulting from trauma and stay stuck in verbal and emotional abusive patterns toward their partner. For safety and other reasons, it is vital to take important steps toward interrupting and healing these patterns for both partners. In this episode I address a specific question from a viewer who finds herself in this dilemma over a year after she confessed to betraying her husband early on in their marriage. The Power of Community in...

In this episode, we're going to take a broader look at the history of addiction to better understand how we see this universal human struggle. We're featuring an interview we did with Dr. Carl Erik Fisher from Columbia University and author of the book, "The Urge: Our History of Addiction." Even though Dr. Fisher approaches this topic from the lens of substance abuse, there are parallels for all addictive and compulsive behaviors. As you listen to this interview and read his book, please...

  The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or learn more at Relay's website. Use code GEOFF1 for 15% off!  Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust”  Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship. Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your...

Over the many years of helping couples and individuals overcome addiction and betrayal, I’ve noticed it can be extremely difficult for the partner who betrayed trust to be able to confidently live authentically. Coming from a space of hiding, lying, and posing as something or someone they are not, to confronting their true feelings and behaviors can be terrifying for both the betrayer and the betrayed. Join us as we discuss helpful ways to live authentically while being conscious of the...

We all have numerous emotions daily and must learn how to identify and use them in our lives. But in today’s society we are often taught that healthy emotional regulation means having no emotion at all. In this episode we discuss how unhealthy emotional regulation can undermine connection and repair, holding us hostage in our relationships, and 4 helpful ways to develop healthy emotional regulation. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery: Download Relay and try it out for free, or...

Healing from sexual betrayal in a relationship is not a linear process. Through the ups and downs both individuals may see glimpses of safety and security, while at other times vulnerability and fear. In this episode I address the feelings that can come when it seems like the relationship is healing, yet the feelings of happiness may trigger shame, uncertainty, and cause a backslide in progress. Join me as I share ways for both the betrayed and the betrayer to process these emotions, and find...