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A song to help you use the STOP skill to the tune of "Stop," by Spice Girls! Music, video, acting, directed and produced by Aj! More song on the way! Lyrics: PERSON: I've heard you talk about the stop skill but I can never use it AJ: why? PERSON: I just can't remember to use it! AJ: well I have a fun way that can help you to remember it! PERSON: really? Okay! AJ: it's a song that came up with. PERSON: okay! AJ: and I'm going to have to sing right now so... PERSON: .. Oh no thank you AJ:...

Being assertive means having the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful. You have the right to express your view point and the responsibility to speak up. In this episode, we discuss finding and practicing your assertive voice. We reenact Aj being assertive and Cris shutting down, and both our viewpoints on how we view the situation and respond.  Support this podcast at —...

AJ has tried many methods to find—but most importantly maintain—the motivation to accomplish many of his long and short term goals. Over the years, he's struggled with setting goals and seeing them through, staying on task, or simply not feel overwhelmed by his tasks. When he's failed, he's riddled with feelings of guilt and disappointment, which overtime turn into depression and a sense of hopelessness. We're excited—and a little nervous—to talk to you about a new system that has truly made...

We're excited to sit down with musician Coughlin to talk about his experience in the music industry and his commitment to mental health awareness.

A quick critique at the last episode. Let's clear up this vocabulary!

Learn about complex post-traumatic stress disorder with us, and a common symptom called structural disassociation common with people with BPD.

Come along with us on our morning walk! — Negative self-talk has always been in my mind passed down to me by my father. After having a discussion with him I realized I don't need his approval to succeed and we are now estranged. It took almost 30 years of my life to realize he never knew the real me, but saw me as a commodity just like my mother. I decided not to be used by them anymore to take control of my life. Healing doesn't mean forgiving, It means telling yourself that you were not...

My self-esteem is in the gutter. I didn't realize how bad it was. I'm haunted by expectations and perfectionism.My positive self-talk is there, but sometimes the negative voices win. So, I'm beginning a journey to reprogram myself so I'm not always playing the villain. I want to motivate myself not to belittling myself, but build myself up! -AJ

May is mental health awareness month, and also BPD awareness month. Both are important to expose people to the truth about mental health issues and fight stigma.

Update on AJ's structure and schedule and how we can motivate ourselves out of procrastination.

It's Friday, so I want to get as many things done as possible. Usually cleaning a room takes extra time (more than an hour), also because I'm trying not to be distracted by social media. Etsy, poetry, and #artistproblems included!

Another day, another dinner. I really had a good day today.

There are important things to do each day (making an appointment, calling a friend, emergencies, ect.) but don't let that slow you down! No one is perfect, but hell, we can try right?

In the spirit of staying motivated and creating structure, feel free to follow me on Duolingo! I set a reminder for myself that every day at 3:00 pm I do lessons. Why not join me and take steps in learning the language you always wanted to speak!

Recovering from a depressing day, I come to terms with my doubts and fear that seem inescapable. Press on!

Monday was a hard day. I want to concentrate on my life, but thinking about it got me pessimistic. But I won't stop! *episode contains talk of suicide*

What happens when you fail? What even is failure? On this episode we discuss the missteps, roadblocks, and our eventual relapse into our old schedule despite the efforts set in motion 2 weeks ago. More importantly, we discuss how to learn and pivot to pursue our goals more efficiently and intelligently.

What have I learned so far? Weekends are non-negotiable! And also, I love the feeling of focus and motivation in the sun.

Trying hard to get what I want done to better myself and my surroundings.

Mid-week report

Wasn't a perfect day. A lot of factors affected how my day turned out. The importance of the schedule is being able to get the things done that I want to get done in a timely manner. I feel like I didn't do my best today. I can't wait to try again tomorrow! 😳

First day of my schedule! Monday is here. This is how it went. The ups, the downs, the cats 🐈

Procrastinating seems to be a bpd trait. DBT teaches that structure is a great way for our minds to stay active and for us to feel productive. Like me, you may have started projects with grandiose ideas and very motivated, but then slowly became disheartened and discontinued. Our feelings are connected to our motivation so it's important that we take care of ourselves and develop good habits to pass the time.