“I just want Australians to be Australians,” said Rampaging Roy Slaven, voicing the sentiment of quiet Australians from all corners of the globe. “What’s wrong with being Aussies, ey? I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it - nothing.” Too. Bloody. Right.  Aussies. Sunburnt plains, girt by sea. From New York City to Old Trafford, we Meet as Friends and Part as Mates. That’s Aussies for you.  It’s the race that stops a nation and the musical matchup that stops the world. It’s fresh… it’s new… it’s now… It’s Bruce McAvaney, Shaun Mendes, Camilla Cabello and Taylor Swift. Bruce & Taylor Swift. Together again. They Meet as Friends and Part as Mates. Just don’t let them in the mounting enclosure…  Sticking with music: Meatloaf, Billy Idol, the cast of Neighbours - when it comes to Grand Final Entertainment, the bar has been set unreachably high. Spare a thought for Ryan Tedder and One Republic as they Have a Go to Get a Go and this year’s NRL GF. Will they open with Apologise?! Prior to the big dance, in the interest of simmering down tensions and extending hands across the water… should both captains, who Met as Friends and Parted as Mates, link arms and sing the national anthem? And while we’re at it, remembering that footy players often possess hidden but sublime creative talents, how would Footy Players Got Talent fly at half time? DRS is maligned by many but misunderstood by most. Perhaps we should introduce DRS Fundamentals into schools, funded by Gonski, in hopes of the next generation becoming DRS natives. The review system is broken, but could it be fixed if the bowling team could review the data before they ask for a review? A review review, if you will?  And here we were thinking AFLX was dead. Thank God the EJ Whitten Legends Match gave the ailing format a desperately needed kiss of life.  Horn vs Zerafa has fight fans across the globe making a bee-line for the combat sports capital of the world - Bendigo! The Hornet says we should get ready for a “slugfest” and, if we’re lucky, a “bloody brawl”. The bloodthirsty residents of Bendigo’s Japanese sister city are watching closely. The Showman looks at home in the City that Never Sleeps - hear Roy’s rundown of attractions/distractions to learn why tennis sits down the pecking order. Your emails via [email protected] All of that and so much more!