Episodes
Is this thing on? Are you wanting to get into the podcast game but aren’t sure what microphone is worth your time, money, and mouth? Well, I’m here to help. This week I review a variety of microphones to get down to the age old question “what sounds good?” Join me this week for hypnosis, complicated descriptions, and escaping a swarm of bees. Microphones, they make the world go sound.
Published 01/18/22
Published 01/11/22
Oh the measures we take to find true love. Hinge now does voice prompts, so you know what that means. I’ve loaded up the ole podcasting software, dusted off the ole microphone and screamed at it for nearly thirty whole minutes. That’s right, this week’s episode is nearly thirty minutes long. Join me as I discuss how apps like Hinge enable us to be our true selves, and how the dating landscape is a beautiful garden where love can be plucked like apples from a tree. On an unrelated note, are...
Published 01/11/22
Christopher Nolan has tried and tried again to deliver mind-bending cinema spectacles, but has yet to deliver his trademark style in the podcasting space. Isn’t that interesting? This week I record twenty segments and shuffle them using a randomiser. Will this create a worthwhile listening structure that keeps you engaged? Probably not, but hey, it technically counts as an episode.
Published 01/04/22
Another year another podcasting triumph baby! That’s right, we’re counting down my top ten moments of the year. Real moments. Are you accusing me of doctoring these clips to make this podcast, and in turn myself, appear more interesting? Rude. No. How dare you. Join me this week as I recall meeting my clone, insulting jurors, and becoming unstuck in time. Belated Christmas wishes and happy New Year!
Published 12/28/21
Those dang soundscapes are back at it again, and this time their premise is broader than ever. That’s right, tune in this week for the sounds of Christmas. Lights, Santa, Baubles? You better believe there’s baubles. You’ll be drowning in baubles. Join me this week for va-va-voom Barbie commercials, petitions against firemen calendars, and a musical hit that finally gets down to the drummer boy’s wealth. This really is a big ole Christmas spectacular kind of episode, so I hope you enjoy it....
Published 12/21/21
Tom Holland Feet pics! This one trick will help you lose weight. You won’t believe Emma Stone’s new back tattoo. That’s right! It’s SEHOHOHO. That special time of year were we optimize our search engine by not merely referencing current events, but following them to their natural conclusion. Do you have questions about today’s hottest headlines? Are you unsure of how this qualifies as a Christmas episode? Do you want to hear an original rap? Yep, as the premise falls apart I share a rap. A...
Published 12/14/21
The giving season is upon us, and what’s a better gift than an outline for a new Home Alone film? Kevin McCallister now works for a toy company, and gets wrapped up in what is essentially the plot of Paul Blart Mall Cop. Also, fun fact, if you were thinking of getting me anything for Christmas there is only seventeen nights left, so you should be ordering and sending off gifts right now. What to get me? I’m sure you’ll think of something. Oh, right sorry, where was I? Join me this week as...
Published 12/07/21
It’s December 1st! So bust out that advent calendar and listen along as I share some fans venting their frustrations at the show twenty-five times over. That’s right, this week I’m reading twenty-five collated reviews from fans, friends and foes alike. So join me as I read thoughts shared by my ex lawyer, concerned mothers and the manager of a Target Country. Did I mention Tom Hardy’s Venom is discussed? It’s a Christmas miracle!
Published 11/30/21
What is a podcast? What is this podcast? Seriously, I need help. It’s about time we figured it out. So, join host Alexander Krause as they try to unravel the mysteries of proper podcast structure, wax on Marvel’s the Eternals, and try out a flurry of new slogan ideas. This is one of those must listen episodes that becomes a beacon for other podcasters to replicate. Don’t be surprised if you hear people reference the ‘Big Tall Men’ episode and say things like “That could never be done today”.
Published 11/23/21
Who are your friends, really? Like, honestly, in this day and age who do you really have besides me? Exactly. I see you nodding your head as you read this description. Agreeing as I say that I am your longest, closest and most spiritually rewarding friendship. Well, how about you pay that friendship forward, and supply me with cold hard cash? That’s right, the good folks at Cameo have requested that I audition for the website, and I need your help to become a mainstain -- I mean mainstay. For...
Published 11/16/21
Ka-ching baby! It’s payday. And you know what that means. Money? No. It means I try everything in my power to make everything I enjoy profitable. Does it matter that creating audio content is one of the only few joys in my life, and altering the structure of that to help sell meal subscription services would fundamentally change how I view myself as a person? Of course not. Because there is a chance that I have some of that green cheddar. This week I read copy for the most visible of podcast...
Published 11/09/21
A Current Affair have limited scope. Who has time to head down to the store in this day and age? This week I compare grocery prices of leading Australian grocers to leading Videogame retailers. Always wanted to know whether it’s cheaper to shop in Yakuza or Persona 5? Curious if bread has been inflated over the Elder Scrolls franchise? If yes then boy is this for you.
Published 11/02/21
It’s a spooky episode of spooky improvised audio soundscapes. This time, the spookiest of locations, Scienceworks. Join me for spooky planetarium Kia advertisements, lightning shows, and a snake under a veranda. If I keep typing ‘spooky’ you might think this qualifies as a Halloween episode. Boo!
Published 10/26/21
Above all I am an artist, and what’s more artistic than a beautifully crafted huge stinking trophy? This week Nicole Smith drops by to help get the podcast ready for award season. Join us for all of the usual things we always do; such as relationship advice, food reviews, science chats, tech talk, ad reads, and Knives Out casting news. See, I told you, just all of the usual stuff. I would never undermine my artistic integrity by altering myself to appease Spotify. Go check out Nicole’s...
Published 10/19/21
INT. Intro - Magic Hour. Wow, I can’t believe I’m putting this out into the world. Join me this week as I read through my big new screenplay project. It follows a handsome young stud named Alexander Krause, who’s acing his way through podcasting.
Published 10/12/21
On this week’s episode I test Window’s ability to read an episode aloud. Join me as I explore what can and shouldn’t be said. Onomatopoeia? ASCII Art? It’s all fair game baby. Also, open invites for my birthday.
Published 10/05/21
Another month, another improvised audio soundscape. This time: The Royal Botanical Gardens. Join me this time for a Shakespeare/Coco mash-up, filling in for your boss, and original sin. Listing three things that occur in the episode makes a description come to life! You’re now invested and have to listen.
Published 09/28/21
I’m back for some more fan-mail. This time not in character. Join me as I justify the outpour of lovely messages that you have all been sending me. If you would like your message featured you can always send an email to [email protected] I will read anything.
Published 09/21/21
Already scraping the bottom of the review barrel, I discuss my opinion on salads. Then, later realise I could have been discussing Doctor Who. What a roller-coaster episode!
Published 09/14/21
In 1977 NASA launched a golden record into space. On this week’s episode I pitch a new golden record that better reflects modern society. What will make the cut? It’s a thrilling reflection of human worth and the insignificance of it all.
Published 09/07/21
Welcome back to another improvised audio soundscape. This time: Geelong Beach. Join me this week for the new season of Survivor, siren songs, and anime volleyball tournaments. Plus, listen through to the end to hear me get distracted by birds. What an episode!
Published 08/31/21
Sometimes an episode just kind of falls together. Join me this week for a brief discussion of ‘I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson’, and a long discussion of my limited vocabulary.
Published 08/24/21
50 episodes! Can you believe it? I sit-down with the renowned Oprah Winfrey to discuss my many accomplishments and provide some insight into the podcast business. I’m an authority, and Oprah is glad to have me.
Published 08/17/21
Podcasting’s a difficult game. It can wear you down. Thankfully, I’m always here to lend an ear. This week Trevor Scott and Ben Slinger stop by to get some friendly advice regarding their podcast ‘Bit Storm’. Could the show be more enthusiastic? Does it need a lil’ stinker attitude? Should it heavily feature David Prowse? Well we’re gonna get to the bottom of these questions, and much much more, on this week’s episode. Go check out ‘Bit Storm’ at:...
Published 08/10/21