Make up some silly songs, ensure your firewall is still active, and put out your best wine and cheese ... it's time to vent! Join nationally recognized complainers Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 12 of Season 6, "Farmers Market". (NOTE: We've got a lot to say about this episode, so follow along and, as always, don't get stuck.)

Grab your 80 point presentation plan, make your way to the local jewelry shop, and be sure to declare your foreign foods at customs! Join french cheese experts Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 11 of Season 6, "New Beginnings". (NOTE: With the addition of MARBUCKS to LFP Worldwide Headquarters, everyone has been over-caffeinated lately. We're sorry. And you're welcome.)

Loyal viewers, there comes a time ... oh, about once a season ... where the upper brass at LFP Worldwide Headquarters complains about the on-air talent going over budget. When that happens, we need to quickly throw together a slap-dash episode for virtually no money, and even less talent. The result? You guessed it ... another GRAB BAG! Join nationally recognized bag grabbers Mark and Allen as they walk you through this captivating episode, full of frills, thrills, and probably other stuff...

Pay a visit to your favorite OB-GYN, build your own banner out of spare parts, and get ready to hear pitches for some great investment ideas! Join wildly successful angel investors Mark and Allen as they tackle this PRODUCER'S CUT version (AKA 'The One where Mark and Allen Talk a Lot!') of Episode 10 of Season 6, "Second Chunce". (NOTE: LFP Worldwide Headquarters would like to officially apologize for the length of this review ... between Harvey and Constantine competing with food trucks, the...

Break out your Ledgerman hat, contact Regal Meagle Realty, and get ready to sing a duet with your worst enemy! Join karaoke enthusiasts Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 9 of Season 6, "The Cones of Dunshire". (NOTE: Ever since Constantine started dating Harvey's sister, Hermione, things have been heating up between the two of them. Word is they're cooking up something big to elevate their rivalry. Stay tuned!)

They're back! Get out your woodworking tools, brush off your marketing chops, and prepare to find your spirit animal! Join nationally-ranked crib makers Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 8 of Season 6, "Flouride". (NOTE: We were going to have both of our interns working today, but Harvey, being the big grumble-guts he is, has refused to be in the studio with Constantine. It may or may not have something to do with Constantine dating his sister.)

Find your best Halloween decorations, put some marshmallows in your hot chocky, get some B13 shots, and prepare for the recall results! Join expert trend setters Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 7 of Season 6, "Recall Vote". (NOTE: This is where Constantine would usually put a note, but he's so love struck he completely spaced it. Well done, idiot.)

Put on your skates and best 90s attire, grab a bag of quarters, limber up for skeeball, and get ready for a "brilliant" party! Join professional electronic deer hunters Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 6 of Season 6, "Filibuster". (NOTE: Since not all of you are from London, Harvey wanted to explain what we mean by our use of "brilliant" above. It means "cool". EDIT BY MARK AND ALLEN: Well done, Harvey. You really sliced through the confusion.)

Look up some obscure idioms, put on your best foreign accent, get out your neck massager, and double down on your hatred of lawyers! Join expert idiom looker-uppers Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 5 of Season 6, "Gin It Up!". (NOTE: Constantine is FINALLY back with us, although he's worthless ... all he does is text his girlfriend all day long. To make matters worse, we have an inkling as to who it might be ...)

Brew up some yerba matte tea sweetened with stevia, check on your emergency plate of waffles and whipped cream, and get out your customized medication case - it's got to be Xanax o'clock somewhere! Join professional merger czars Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 4 of Season 6, "Doppelgangers". (NOTE: Harvey is once again grumpy, seeing as Constantine asked him to cover his shift yet AGAIN. Apparently Constantine's love life is ... well, he now HAS a love life. Who knew. And also ... yuck.)

Grab some road trip snacks, start removing any trace of your existence, and get ready for some accounting shenanigans - we've got to solve this budget crisis! Join expert accountants Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 3 of Season 6, "The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic". (NOTE: Harvey is a bit grumpy that he had to cover for Constantine, who was SUPPOSED to join us for this episode. Hopefully that won't affect the quality of the end result. Enjoy!)

Picking up where they left off last week, join the guys as they hop back across the pond to continue the second half of our coverage of the two-part, Season 6 premiere, "London, Part 2". (NOTE: Constantine and Harvey’s ‘pinkies out’ experiment was a complete failure and they’ve given up teetotaling altogether!)

Get your plane tickets and journey across the globe to a place where they have big clocks, say aluminum weird, and drive on the wrong side of the road ... that's right ... we're going to LONDON bay-bee!!! Join British Lords Mark and Allen as they tackle the first half of the double-sized Season 6 premiere, "London, Part 1". (NOTE: Constantine and Harvey were inspired by the Season 6 premiere, and have been drinking tea with their pinkies out. They're so proper.)

Talk about a fascinating guy who's been in a TON of stuff! You can see his efforts in movies such as Sully, Fracture, and Flightplan, as well as some of our favorite shows such as NCIS, Weeds, Justified, My Name Is Earl, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office, House, Arrested Development, Scrubs, and of course Parks and Recreation as the delightfully curmudgeony Dr. Harris! Join us this week for a very special, LONG OVERDUE Pawnee Spotlight episode featuring Cooper Thornton! (NOTE: Constantine and...

When you're done thinking about the future of your business, and you've successfully solved the mystery in front of you, be sure to grab a front-row seat for one of the greatest spectacles in Pawnee ... the Founder's Week Parade! Join nationally ranked mystery solvers Mark and Allen as they tackle the Season 5 finale, "Are You Better Off?". (NOTE: No additional notes this time ... just enjoy this season finale!)

Grab your putter, order a snow cone, and get ready to battle - this is for the future of the Pawnee Palms! Join professional mini-golfers Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 21 of Season 5, "Swing Vote". (NOTE: Inspired by this episode, Constantine performed his stand-up-comedy "swan song" earlier this week. I don't think he noticed his audience was just a series of cardboard cut-outs with a pre-recorded laugh track. It doesn't matter - he had fun, that's what is important.)

Nature abhors a vacuum. You know what they say: every group has a punching bag, and if you don't know who yours is, then it's probably YOU! Join professional punching-bag spotters Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 20 of Season 5, "Jerry's Retirement". (NOTE: Inspired by this episode, Harvey put together a retirement party for Constantine. Don't worry, Constantine isn't going anywhere ... we think this was just wishful thinking on Harvey's part.)

Put on your hoop skirt, get out your wooden train whistle, and log on to IndyBids.com ... there's competition EVERYWHERE, and there can only be one winner! Join amateur contest participants Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 19 of Season 5, "Article Two". (NOTE: Yes, it's true, there MAY be a link from the Marvel Universe to the Star Wars Universe ... but what about the ONION-verse?!?!? EDIT BY MARK AND ALLEN: Constantine, stick to the script please ... ad-libbing is NOT your strong suit.)

Brush up on your colognes, stay hydrated with plenty of Lagavulin, and whatever you do ... WATCH OUT FOR COYOTE TRAPS!!! Join professional "scent artists" Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 18 of Season 5, "Animal Control". (NOTE: Interesting factoid ... apparently, if you eat enough onions, it counteracts whatever colognes you might put on. Good tip for those of you at home. Stay safe out there.)

Assemble your legal team, tabulate your test scores, and get ready for a trip to the wilds of Minnesota. That's right ... we're going to PARTRIDGE, bay-bee! Join professional legal analysts Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 17 of Season 5, "Partridge". (NOTE: This episode inspired the upper brass here at LFP Worldwide Headquarters to pass around a ballot so people could vote for our mascot. We only got one write in: "Orion the Onion". Three guesses who submitted that one.)

Go get your nails done, consider the intricacies being a father/business owner, and get ready to bestow some tax breaks! Join clothes rental moguls Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 16 of Season 5, "Bailout". (NOTE: At our request, Harvey applied for LFP Worldwide Headquarters to be named a Historical Landmark, but Ron heard about what we were doing and put the kibosh on it.)

Grab some crab and caviar, blend your smoothies, get your jokes ready, and don't forget your can of "Whoop-Ass" ... it's roasting time! And if the opportunity presents itself, you might want to ask for some semen ... your call. Join artificial insemination experts Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 15 of Season 5, "Correspondents' Lunch". (NOTE: This episode inspired Constantine and Harvey to create their own "roasting" style jokes, which they presented over the AV system here at LFP...

Make sure to listen to Mark and Allen’s coverage of Season 5, Episode 14 - Leslie and Ben, and then check out this special tribute to the best sitcom couple ever!

Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round and bear witness to the event of the century ... Leslie and Ben are getting married! No, really! Well ... they're going to try, anyway. Join world renown love aficionados Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 14 of Season 5, "Leslie and Ben". (NOTE: We knew this was a super sweet episode when we saw Constantine and Harvey sobbing in each other's arms after re-watching it. Okay, yes .. onion snacks were present, but the tears were genuine. To not cry at...

WARNING! WARNING! DISASTER HAS HIT PAWNEE! Grab some snacks, pop the preparedness DVD in the player, get on that video conference, and let's BEAT THIS THING! Okay, it's simulated, sure ... but still kinda scary. Join famous gala organizers Mark and Allen as they tackle Episode 13 of Season 5, "Emergency Response". (NOTE: If you feel this content is too scary, please feel free to bring your favorite good luck charm - and if you don't have one, Constantine is selling some for your convenience....