Controlling behavior is not an uncommon dynamic between couples.  It can be overt or more often unrecognized but the struggle for autonomy contends with the desire to please and the need for clear boundaries that respect both party's rights.  Alvean and Doug take on this fraught topic in thsi episode and offer some counsel on how to avoid finding yourself controlling or being controlled.  For a full traNscript of the episode, click here:LL24-You're not the Boss of Me

You've probably heard it, maybe even believe that opposites are attracted to one another.  But do they make for a good relationship?  In the episode, Alvean and Doug explore the truth and fiction behind the saying and the true path to compatibility.  For a full transcript of the episode, click here:LL23-Do Opposites Attract

The green eyed monster, jealousy, is at the heart of too many failed relationships.  It generally proceeds from a lack of trust or a violation   of the emotional investment one partner has made in the other.  Whatever the underlying cause, jealousy is a difficult monster to tame.  To learn how, listen to Alvean and Doug discuss the subject in this episode.  For a full transcript, click here: LL22-Jealousy

Something happened and you and your ex parted ways.  As is often the case, you both may have regret and after a time drift back into each other's orbits.  Can love be renewed, can ex's reunite successfully?  To find out what Alvean and Doug have to say, listen to this episode and read the transcript here:LL21-Getting Back with Your Ex

Break ups happen and we hope they can be navigated gracefully even though both parties may experience pain and a sense of loss.  But what happens when your ex won't let go, and pain becomes anger and vindictive behavior?  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how survive such an experience and what causes it.  For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL20-Vindictive Ex's

There are three ingredients for a successful and loving relationship: Honesty, Trust, and Empathy.  In this episode, Alvaen and Doug discuss empathy--what it is and isn't and why it is such an important building block in emotional maturity and life.  For a full transcript, click here: LL19-Empathy is a Lost Virtue

Too often our life experiences harden us and create boundaries that prevent us from having a fulfilling relationship.  In this episode, Alvaen and Doug discuss the power of opening ourselves to others, being vulnerable to pain or hurt but also open to true love and deep emotional bonds.  For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL18-Vulnerability

In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about life's priorities. How do we make sense of all the competing demands on our attention, time and affection? Is there a majoc formula for deciding what reall matters?  For more and a complete transcript, click here: LL17

No one wishes to be in emotional pain but it happens to most of us at some point.  While it may not seem so at the time, pain can bring with it a healing power--wisdom--that helps us avoid the circumstances that led to our hurt in the first place.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how we confront ourselves and learn to separate the pain from the lesson.  For more and a full transcript, click here:LL16

The easiest person to deceive is ourselves.  Whether out of a misplaced sense of self protection, and inability to face reality, or avoid pain, we are accomplished liars when it comes to certain parts of our life.  It is, however, extremely unhealthy and in the end self destructive.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the ways in which we can learn to face the truth, accept ourselves, flaws and all, and take decisive action to free ourselves from self imposed limitations. For more, and...

It has happened to most of at least once, our hearts have been broken in the wake of a breakup, infidelity, or another violation of the all important trust partners must have in one another. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about self nurture--the tools that are available to us to heal our hurt and rebuild our sense of self esteem and wholeness. For more, and a full transcript, click here: LL14

Last week Alvean and Doug talked about the fallout from infidelity and the path to rapproachment. In this episode they talk about the ways in which couples can prevent infidelity in the first place.  Alvean illustrates the dry grass principle that sets up the environment in which emotional estrangement provides a fertile atmosphere for cheating.  For more, and a complete transcript, click here: LL13

It is one of the most devastating things that can happen in a relationship--when one partner is unfaithful.  While most often this violation of trust results in an end to the relationship, or a divorce it is possible to rebuild the foundations if both partners are committed to the long and transparent journey.  Alvean and Doug take on this difficult topic in today's episode with some surprising takes on how love can triumph. For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL12

In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the best relationship advice they received over the years.  For a full transcript, click here: LL11

Realtionships can be hard enough without the challenges of navigating two different cultures.  They can also be fantastic and rewarding--but that requires emotional insight, tact, and patience to achieve.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer some thoughts on cross cultural relationships and how to cultivate the right frame of mind for the couple and their families and friends.  For more and a full transcript, click here: LL10

One of the trickier challenges couples face that have children from a prior relationship is when and how to blend their families together.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug explore those challenges and offer some helpful guidance to avoid the emotional and logistical ripples;  For a full transcript, click here: LL09

Money is a very common issue that can cause friction in a relationship.  While there are many different ways in which the subject can be fraught--in this episode Alvean and Doug explore the nuances when the traditional 'breadwinner' role is reversed and the woman earns more than the man.  For more and a full transcript, click here:LL08

Have you ever wondered if perhaps the reason you haven't found mr or ms right has more to do with you than you think?  If so this episode is for you.  Alvean and Doug talk about ways some people sabotage themselves or create barriers that prevent them from building a loving relationship.  For more and a complete transcript, click here:  LL07

In this episode Alvean and Doug take on the subject of breakups.  There is no such thing as a good breakup but there are better ways to say goodbye.  Whether you are the one saying goodbye or receiving such news learn how to put your feelings in perspective and rise above the hurt.  For a full transcript click here: LL06

Have you ever wondered if there is a special someone made just for you? Does God run a dating service or are we attracted to certain people based on subtle patters that inform our lives?  In this episode, Alvean and Doug explore the reality of finding a mate and the stories we tell ourselves about how and why.  For a full transcript, click here: LL05

How do you know if she or he is the one?  Is this true love or something else?  Discovering the boundaries and qiualities of your relationship requires patience, insight and an open heart.  Alvean and Doug offer some strategies for answering the question, what's real in this episode.  For more, click here: LL04

The full title of this episode is Loving Relationships expand our hearts.  Nothing could be more true.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk from their hearts about their own experiences--how we can find a larger frame for our emotions and our care by building enduring relationships in life.  For a full transcript, click here:LL03

Who we choose as our role models speaks volumes about them and about us. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about their own experience and offer counsel on our choices.  A full transcript can be found here: LL02

Surely one of the most difficult traits to surmount is a passive/aggressive personality.  Relationships require trust and honest communication to flourish. A passive aggressive partner presents a difficult challenge because avoidance is coupled with trust violating aggression.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss this trait and offer insights as to how best to cope when your partner acts in a passive aggressive manner.  For a complete transcript, click here:68-The Passive-Aggressive Partner