WARNING: Dangerous advice ahead
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“It’s clear from the onset that Christine has good intentions, and she asks good questions to get to know the people she is looking to help. She is articulate, and speaks in such a way that welcomes her guests to be vulnerable so she can deal appropriately with hard truths. From what I’ve heard, how she proposes the guests deal with those truths will likely have permanent negative consequences. Take the couple she speaks with about religion. Two thirty-something’s dated for about 6 months, religion important to both of them, however they are of different faiths. Each emphasized the importance of raising their children consistent with their background. Christine’s advice was to ignore this issue for the time being, and just be happy with one another without the pressure. “You are young, you have time,” she said. She then asked each of them how that advice made them feel. Where to begin. 1. A woman in her mid thirties that wants to have kids biologically does not have a lot of time. It takes months (at best) to meet a life partner, months to get to truly get to know them to make sure they are a good fit, then most people want to have kids after marriage, which means there needs to be an engagement. Start this clock when the woman in question is 34? The soonest she will be pregnant with her first child would be around 36, delivering around 37, then delivering the second child around 39. That’s best case scenario, if she breaks up with the guy today and meets Mr. Right in a matter of months. Not many are that lucky. Technically, any pregnancy after age 35 is considered geriatric in the medical community, as the risk of miscarriages and complications grows exponentially. Telling a 34 year old who wants to be a mother that she has a lot of time is false, and that approach would likely prevent her from having a family biologically. 2. These two people clearly care about each other. Christine asked them how they would feel if they were to break up, and both said it would be terrible. Christine gives the advice of the two of them “giving it a year” to see if besides religion, they feel compatible. Well, they called her because they both feel strongly about salvaging their relationship. They’ve been dating for 6+ months, which is plenty enough to see if you get along. The point being - we already know they are compatible besides the giant obstacle in their relationship they are calling her about. “Pretend the issue isn’t there” is one of the most immature pieces of advice I’ve ever heard. Part of being an adult is facing hard truths and making difficult choices. “But wouldn’t it be great if. . .” Is a game teenagers play. It doesn’t matter if it would be perfect if they were the same religion, or if neither cared about their religion very much. These two called Christine because they are having understandable difficulty navigating a difficult issue others probably relate to: you feel strongly about a person, but there are serious red flags. Christine’s advice? Ignore the red flags for now. I don’t envy Christine’s position, it’s a difficult question. Her advice in this instance was lazy, dangerous, and frankly pathetic. It was akin to saying “don’t worry about it.” Not because it’s not a serious issue, but because, And this is where I’m editorializing, I think Christine wanted to end on a positive note. So she took the easy way out - put the serious issue to the side. Let’s focus on how beautiful of a home this is, and not pay attention to the raging fire in the basement. 3. This bothered me the most. At the end, after she shared her advice of “give it time” and “ignore your relevant and serious obstacles for the next year”, she asked each of them how they felt about that advice. Can you imagine if parents used this method to ascertain whether they were exercising good judgement with their children? Imagine a common scenario: a child misbehaves, and a parent must choose between letting it slide, keeping the child happy and likely the parent happy in the short term (ignore the issue) which condones the behavior, or disciplining the child, making for a rougher hour or day for all involved, but teaching the proper lesson (the adult thing to do). Now, imagine if the parent asked the same question Christine did to measure whether the advice was good: “how do you feel right now with what I said?” You let it slide, the child would feel great. That doesn’t mean it’s the right decision. It’s the definition of being short sighted. Again, it’s lazy, immature, and pathetic. How someone can claim to be a life coach, and use how their guests feel in the next 5 minutes as a barometer as to whether the advice is sound or not baffles me. Last minor point - several times while giving advice, Christine discounts her own opinion, by saying something along the lines of “I’m Not sure if this is right” or “don’t make a decision because of me.” If she is going to market herself as a professional, she needs to own what she says. I’m not suggesting she be responsible for other peoples decisions, but taking the “but what do I know” approach is, I’ll say it again, immature. I feel sad for the two that sought her counsel that they couldn’t interact with someone who wasn’t afraid to be an adult. I think Christine has good intentions, and the one thing I agree with her on is I hope people don’t follow her short-sighted guidance.”
BraSher1422 via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
06/07/22
More reviews of Over It And On With It
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“Another great product from life coach Christine Hassler! Please keep these coming!”
GWood12 via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
10/24/15
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“I found this podcast about 2 weeks aog and was so excited about it I listened to all 42 calls and the coaches corners too!! I couldn't wait for this weeks episode to come out! Christine you are so inspiring and the amount of love, support and wisdom you share through this podcast is...”Read full review »
Jenny-GochaGringa via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
07/15/16
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“Throughout my entire 20s, Christine’s work has guided, inspired and healed me. Working with her has change day life and so many others. The fact that her compassion, insight and divine guidance is now being given is this podcast is such a blessing. I would recommend this podcast to anyone who is...”Read full review »
Katie Hoffman via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
10/25/15
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