You would be well within your rights to judge us for yet another extended/ unexplained absence… but before you do, just know that this time there is a truly shocking and legit explanation (for some of it) and yes it does involve the movie Alien: Romulus. But the upside is we have plenty to catch...

BREAKING, BAD: what better way to extinguish our fleeting sense of national pride than to relive Olympics MVP Raygun’s truly mortifying breakdancing performance. And as the Paris Games draw to a close we reflect on the great nation of France - truly a land of contrasts… terrible, terrible...