What would you do if you had a time machine? The number one answer that everyone says is go back in time and kill baby Hitler. But I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t think that’s the best approach. Beyond the fact that most people don’t have it in them psychologically to kill a baby, have we not learned anything from Doc Browns constant rantings about the unforeseen consequences of altering the natural course of history that he himself is repeatedly contradicting throughout the course...

What would you do if you had a time machine? The number one answer that everyone says is go back in time and kill baby Hitler. But I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t think that’s the best approach. Beyond the fact that most people don’t have it in them psychologically to kill a baby, have we not learned anything from Doc Browns constant rantings about the unforeseen consequences of altering the natural course of history that he himself is repeatedly contradicting throughout the course...

You know when you have an argument with someone, and then 2 days later you’re still thinking up better retorts in the shower that you wish you had said? I was hoping for one of those on this week’s episode about complaining about my roommate. My brain really let me down this time. I literally have nothing else to say because I so fully expressed it in my 45-minute rant on this episode. All the chips are down on the table. All the hot gossip is meticulously explored. We’re the Socrates of...

You know when you have an argument with someone, and then 2 days later you’re still thinking up better retorts in the shower that you wish you had said? I was hoping for one of those on this week’s episode about complaining about my roommate. My brain really let me down this time. I literally have nothing else to say because I so fully expressed it in my 45-minute rant on this episode. All the chips are down on the table. All the hot gossip is meticulously explored. We’re the Socrates of...

Meeoww, this kitty has claws. Is cat face wrong? Are these super furries? Does the cast of Real Movies enjoy a good CGI floor? Does this film do justice to everyone’s favorite issue nobody has seen, The Panther vs The Klan? Would a Black Panther movie shot in the rural south, where the Panther f***s up a bunch of Klansman, been a better movie? Probably. Some of this and more on today’s episode of Real Movies with Real Men!

Meeoww, this kitty has claws. Is cat face wrong? Are these super furries? Does the cast of Real Movies enjoy a good CGI floor? Does this film do justice to everyone’s favorite issue nobody has seen, The Panther vs The Klan? Would a Black Panther movie shot in the rural south, where the Panther f***s up a bunch of Klansman, been a better movie? Probably. Some of this and more on today’s episode of Real Movies with Real Men!

Can we please make childface a thing? You know, having an fully grown adult present themselves as a caricature of a young child. Like blackface, but this way we don’t have to deal with watching a movie with a child protagonist. I bitch about a lot of reoccurring things in movies. CGI, zoom-in shaky cam, 3D, high frame rate, James Franco. But none of these are the worst offender out there. See, when I first mentioned a comparison to blackface above, I’m sure that got some shudders from a...

Can we please make childface a thing? You know, having an fully grown adult present themselves as a caricature of a young child. Like blackface, but this way we don’t have to deal with watching a movie with a child protagonist. I bitch about a lot of reoccurring things in movies. CGI, zoom-in shaky cam, 3D, high frame rate, James Franco. But none of these are the worst offender out there. See, when I first mentioned a comparison to blackface above, I’m sure that got some shudders from a...

Prude Is The New Pervert I never thought I’d be able to top Snitchard for bizarre, shocking sexual stories, but today the unimaginable happened. By trying to be a good “American-Christian” teenager, keeping my lustful thoughts at bay, I’ve turned into the most perverted person in modern society. It turns out, the best way to be scandalous to degenerates like Snitchard and Andy is to just…not have sex. Just goes to show how twisted modern society is! Truth-bending like this, and more, in...

Prude Is The New Pervert I never thought I’d be able to top Snitchard for bizarre, shocking sexual stories, but today the unimaginable happened. By trying to be a good “American-Christian” teenager, keeping my lustful thoughts at bay, I’ve turned into the most perverted person in modern society. It turns out, the best way to be scandalous to degenerates like Snitchard and Andy is to just…not have sex. Just goes to show how twisted modern society is! Truth-bending like this, and more, in...

Just what the hell do I have to say to get this podcast at the center of some outrage!? This week some kid gets seen standing while wearing a red hat and everyone loses their f*****g mind. Meanwhile Muller and I put forth our best effort every episode to mock and belittle every oppressed social group we can think of and nothing! NOTHING! Where’s the respect? Do I need to sell out this quickly? Week by week this podcast sits at about 7 regular listeners and 200ish dummy account downloads...

Just what the hell do I have to say to get this podcast at the center of some outrage!? This week some kid gets seen standing while wearing a red hat and everyone loses their f*****g mind. Meanwhile Muller and I put forth our best effort every episode to mock and belittle every oppressed social group we can think of and nothing! NOTHING! Where’s the respect? Do I need to sell out this quickly? Week by week this podcast sits at about 7 regular listeners and 200ish dummy account downloads...

I haven’t even heard the episode, but I’m gonna just go ahead and apologize for it anyway. Sorry. Your trusted friend, Andy END

I haven’t even heard the episode, but I’m gonna just go ahead and apologize for it anyway. Sorry. Your trusted friend, Andy END

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, 97 bottles of beer on the wall. 97 bottles of beer on the wall, 97 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, 96 bottles of beer on the wall. 96 bottles of beer on the wall, 96 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, 95 bottles of beer on the wall. 95 bottles of...

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, 97 bottles of beer on the wall. 97 bottles of beer on the wall, 97 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, 96 bottles of beer on the wall. 96 bottles of beer on the wall, 96 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around, 95 bottles of beer on the wall. 95 bottles of...

Why is it that all our male action protagonists all look like they should be a waiter at Olive Garden? What happened? When did this become appealing? How did it come to this? How could you ever put your faith in a character to save the world, that you only just barely have enough faith in to serve you bread sticks? And yet this is now the norm. I swear all of the newest action movies I’ve seen have gone down this route. Robin Hood, the 2018 Predator, Ready Player One… All the pussiest...

Why is it that all our male action protagonists all look like they should be a waiter at Olive Garden? What happened? When did this become appealing? How did it come to this? How could you ever put your faith in a character to save the world, that you only just barely have enough faith in to serve you bread sticks? And yet this is now the norm. I swear all of the newest action movies I’ve seen have gone down this route. Robin Hood, the 2018 Predator, Ready Player One… All the pussiest...

Every day is Purge Day in a Marxist utopia Just think about it. Anytime you’re upset that someone has more skills or talent than you, you can just accuse them of being too “privileged” and then gather your torches and pitchforks. More rejected ideas for wacky purge gangs and villains: * The Little Kings: a group of midgets that run around wearing cardboard Burger King crowns. They only eat burgers and use a lot of burger lingo and insults, like “Hey you damn onion ring, you messed with...

Every day is Purge Day in a Marxist utopia Just think about it. Anytime you’re upset that someone has more skills or talent than you, you can just accuse them of being too “privileged” and then gather your torches and pitchforks. More rejected ideas for wacky purge gangs and villains: * The Little Kings: a group of midgets that run around wearing cardboard Burger King crowns. They only eat burgers and use a lot of burger lingo and insults, like “Hey you damn onion ring, you messed with...

Here’s the thing about Queen… Everybody loves Queen and it always surprises me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I think they’re bad. They’ve definitely written a few songs that I think are nearly objectively loved by all. Even if you’re only familiar with their singles, that seems to be enough for most to appreciate them. It surprises me because every guy at some point has to realize when watching a live video of Queen that he is not as cool as Freddy Mercury. His presence, that...

Here’s the thing about Queen… Everybody loves Queen and it always surprises me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I think they’re bad. They’ve definitely written a few songs that I think are nearly objectively loved by all. Even if you’re only familiar with their singles, that seems to be enough for most to appreciate them. It surprises me because every guy at some point has to realize when watching a live video of Queen that he is not as cool as Freddy Mercury. His presence, that...

You can never come back from the dead… …unless you’re Fred Krueger or Muller. And yes I know I just referred to myself in the 3rd person, but you noticed so that makes you just as big of an a*****e. I owe a lot of apologies for missing last week’s episode. I’m sorry my immune system was as weak as Venom’s villain, barely even able to fight one-on-one with a symbiotic virus. You’d think being white would have given me a better result than Indian Elon Musk. I’m sorry I made you all miss...

You can never come back from the dead… …unless you’re Fred Krueger or Muller. And yes I know I just referred to myself in the 3rd person, but you noticed so that makes you just as big of an a*****e. I owe a lot of apologies for missing last week’s episode. I’m sorry my immune system was as weak as Venom’s villain, barely even able to fight one-on-one with a symbiotic virus. You’d think being white would have given me a better result than Indian Elon Musk. I’m sorry I made you all miss...