Episodes
It is well known that depression (and certain drug treatments for depression, notably SSRIs) can lower sexual interest, desire, and activity levels. However, it turns out that the story of how depression and sex are connected is more complicated than this. Depression is one of those things that can affect different people in very different ways. In fact, research actually finds that depression has the potential to both increase and decrease sexual desire and behavior. So how do we explain...
Published 12/02/22
Published 12/02/22
We've talked a lot about orgasms on this show, but there's still much to explore! So today's episode is going to dig into some interesting aspects of orgasm we haven't really discussed before. We're also going to consider some tips on having better and more pleasurable orgasms. I am joined once again by sex therapist Dr. Laurie Mintz, a Professor at the University of Florida and author of the books Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It  as well as A Tired Woman’s...
Published 11/29/22
For decades, sex toys were largely marketed to women, with male sex toys really only starting to make an appearance in the last few years. Survey studies find that most adult men say they've never used a sex toy before (whereas most women have), and part of the reason for this is because male sex toys are more stigmatized. So let’s normalize sex toys for men! My guest today is Jens Petter Wilhelmsen, CEO of Sweet Tech, the Norwegian company that designed and developed the Handy™, a...
Published 11/25/22
We are once again in the midst of the annual abstinence challenge known as “No Nut November.” Basically, it involves men giving up ejaculation for the entire month (i.e., no "nutting” allowed). Those who partake do so for a wide variety of reasons, but they seem to be rooted in the idea that masturbation and orgasm are somehow unhealthy. So what does the research actually say? Let's talk about it! For today's episode, I've pulled together some of my favorite clips on the history and science...
Published 11/22/22
In recent years, a growing number of women of reproductive age have started walking away from the birth control pill. In fact, one survey found that 70% of those who were using the pill said they had either stopped taking it or were thinking about going off of it in the last three years. Why are so many Gen Z and millennial adults going off the pill? What contraceptives are they using instead? And how is the U.S. Supreme Court's reversal of Roe v. Wade going to impact all of this? Let's talk...
Published 11/18/22
Most people will encounter a sexual problem at some point in their lives, but most will suffer in silence. Shame and embarrassment lead a lot of folks to avoid talking about sex problems and seeking help for them. Unfortunately, by doing nothing, these problems often end up growing into much bigger issues. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Many sex problems can be solved on our own, without the need for therapy. So let’s talk about things you can do to solve common sexual problems and get...
Published 11/15/22
When it comes to birth control pills, there's more than meets the eye. Hormonal contraception can have wide-ranging effects on both body and mind, to the point where who you are on the pill might actually be quite different from who you are off the pill. The way your body responds to stress, the people you're attracted to, your overall desire to have sex---these are just a few of the many ways that hormonal contraceptives might impact someone. So, let's talk about! My guest today is Dr. Sarah...
Published 11/11/22
Although the modern sex doll industry largely caters to straight men, a growing number of heterosexual women are getting in on the action by purchasing male sex dolls. Sex dolls for women have actually been around for more than a half-century, but they've changed quite a bit over the years. So who are the women buying male sex dolls? What are their reasons for purchasing them, and are they meeting women's needs? And why is there so much stigma around sex doll ownership? Let's talk about...
Published 11/08/22
Want to lead a better life in the bedroom and beyond? This episode is for you! I asked six experts for their favorite pieces of sex advice, relationship advice, and life advice. These bonus interviews come from a stellar line-up of previous guests on the show, including: Sex researcher, educator, and therapist Dr. Kristen Mark (who appeared on Episode 46) Sex writer Tracy Clark-Flory (who appeared on Episode 24) Author and sex guru Emily Nagoski (who appeared on Episode 48) Sex...
Published 11/04/22
What was the most popular porn search term last year? According to Pornhub, it was hentai. This term refers to a form of animated or cartoon porn and it seems to be on the rise. So how did hentai come to be such a popular thing in the first place? And why do some people prefer animated porn to live action porn? Let's talk about it! Sexuality educator Ashley Weller returns for this show. Ashley is a professor at Chapman University who runs a podcast called What's your Position? that tackles...
Published 11/01/22
When it comes to buying and selling sex, people most commonly think of men as the buyers and women as the sellers. However, while men are indeed far more likely than women to report having paid for sex, recent media reports suggest that the number of women buying sex may be on the rise. So, let's talk about it. I am joined by Hallie Lieberman, a sex historian and journalist who has written extensively about sex work. She is also author of the book Buzz: A Stimulating History of the Sex Toy,...
Published 10/28/22
Imagine you are a sex therapist and one of your patients discloses a sexual interest that either makes you personally uncomfortable or is something you are totally unfamiliar with. This often happens when kinky people seek out sex therapy, and it sometimes results in clients not getting the help they really need. So let's talk about navigating sex therapy with kinky clients. We’re going to discuss what therapists need to know, as well as how patients can identify kink-affirming providers. I...
Published 10/25/22
Attachment theory was originally based on the assumption that everyone is or wants to be monogamous; however, many people are polyamorous or otherwise engaged in consensual nonmonogamy. So how does attachment work when you have more than one partner? Can you have secure attachments with several partners at the same time? Let's talk about it! I am joined once again by Jessica Fern, a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment,...
Published 10/21/22
Most of us have had a kinky fantasy at some point in our lives, and many of us have actual experience with kink in the bedroom as well. In fact, nationally representative US surveys find that at least one-third of adults have engaged in some kind of BDSM. However, despite how common kink and BDSM are, myths and misconceptions abound. So let's talk about kink! I am joined by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani recently...
Published 10/18/22
The process of opening up a relationship can bring with it a number of benefits, but also a number of challenges. So what does it actually look like when a couple goes down the path of opening up? Let's talk about it! My guest today is a leading expert on consensual non-monogamy and we’re going to explore what her own personal relationship journey looked like, as well as lessons she’s learned from several years of working as a therapist in this area. I am joined by Jessica Fern, a...
Published 10/14/22
Contrary to popular belief, genital stimulation isn’t absolutely necessary when it comes to orgasm. Many people have experiences with "non-genital orgasms," which are orgasms that result from something other than stimulation of the penis or vulva. This can include a lot of different things, from nipple and ear stimulation to getting a tattoo or piercing to exercise and taking a bumpy car ride. So what do we know about all of these non-genital orgasms? Let's talk about it! I am joined by Dr....
Published 10/11/22
Every relationship we have could benefit from defining some boundaries, whether we're talking about relationships with our employers, friends, or sexual partners. However, most of us aren’t very good at establishing them because setting boundaries feels like saying "no," and no can be a really difficult word to say for a lot of reasons. So let’s talk about boundaries. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss everything you need to know, including when to discuss them, how to communicate...
Published 10/07/22
Some people want to have sexual and romantic relationships but are unable to do so. They are involuntarily celibate. For some, this perceived inability to form and maintain sexual and romantic relationships becomes a defining feature of the self---a social identity known as "incel." In the popular media, incels tend to be characterized as misogynists and male supremecists who are prone to violence. However, the truth about incels is more complex, and it turns out that the incels aren’t...
Published 10/04/22
Flirting and seduction can be tricky business. For example, when you want to let someone else know you're interested, what do you even say? And how can you tell when someone is just being polite and friendly vs. actually flirting with you? Let's talk about it! Today's episode will tell you what you need to know about leveling-up your flirting game (in a non-sleazy way!), how read other people’s flirting cues, how to deal with rejection, and more. I am joined by Dr. Alison Ash, a...
Published 09/30/22
In 1947, Dr. Alfred Kinsey established the Institute for Sex Research to protect and preserve his pioneering research on human sexuality. Later renamed the Kinsey Institute, the organization founded by Dr. Kinsey has continued his legacy for 75 years. While many other sex research institutes founded by pioneers in the field have shut down, Kinsey has survived by adapting to the ever-shifting sexual landscape and its researchers continue to break new ground in the field. In today's episode,...
Published 09/27/22
Your brain truly is your biggest sex organ, which means that if you want to have more--and better--sex, the key is really to make sure that you're in the right headspace. However, this is something that a lot of us struggle with. We're just not in the right place mentally in order for desire to set in, or to let go and become fully immersed in pleasure. We're too distracted. We're too stressed. We're constantly thinking about our own insecurities. But this doesn't have to be the case. So...
Published 09/23/22
Most people have had a sexual fantasy about something that would be illegal to do in reality. That's normal. But talking about those fantasies sometimes gets people into a lot of trouble because law enforcement may look at fantasy as a sign of criminal intent. But does having a fantasy about doing something illegal and talking about it with others necessarily mean that you're likely to do it? This is just one of many fascinating and complicated questions that arises in the area where sex,...
Published 09/20/22
A lot of people in long-term relationships lose desire for sex and start thinking there's something wrong with them. But, in many cases, the problem isn't that they lack desire per se--it's that they've simply been having bad sex. They lost interest in sex because it just wasn't worth having, which means that getting desire back isn't about taking some pill or medication; rather, it's about making sure that you've having sex that's worth having. So let's talk about how to make the shift from...
Published 09/16/22
There are a lot of heterosexual women out there who enjoy watching man-on-man pornography. In fact, some of the most popular tube sites in the world have reported that gay male porn is amongst the most-watched genres by female visitors. So why is that? And why do so many of these women enjoy gay male porn more than heterosexual porn? Let's explore! I am joined by Lucy Neville, a Lecturer in Criminology at the University of Leicester, a published writer of erotica (under a pen name), and...
Published 09/13/22