After giving up on his dream of becoming a professional footballer, Marcus Cowzer spent years being unsure of his future, feeling like he had disappointed his father and being unable to deal with the anger and fear of abandonment inside him. While he did eventually rebuild his relationship with his father, it wasn't without a struggle. He tells us about growing up feeling like nothing he did was ever good enough, and how his father's death sent him on his journey to becoming a psychotherapist. He shares some tools for self discovery he learned along the way, which are included in his journal ‘What was - What is - What now?’