Hollywood had been looking to get the Planet of the Apes franchise back into orbit for 20 plus years, but it wasn’t until Tim Burton signed on to direct that the 2001 remake took sh(ape). But despite boasting incredible Rick Baker makeups, Marky Mark as the lead human and an impressive box office haul, the reaction to the film was so toxic that 20th Century Fox studios declined to opt for a sequel. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they make monkeys out of themselves trying to unpack the movie’s...

Coming strong after the one-two punch of The Terminator and Aliens, director James Cameron was poised to reach A-level status with his wildly ambitious underwater sci fi action film The Abyss. But despite overcoming a torturous and fraught-filled production, the would-be blockbuster left audiences confused upon its 1989 theatrical release and did not ascend to the box office or critical heights Cameron hoped for. Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they deep dive into the new spectacularly...

After the billion dollar success of Captain Marvel, a sequel to the Brie Larson led superhero hit seemed destined for the stars. But even with the power of Marvel studios and Disney behind it, not to mention the addition of the characters of Ms. Marvel and Monica Rambeau, Nia DaCosta’s 220 million dollar team-up didn’t even make its budget back worldwide, a catastrophic blow for the once unstoppable brand. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they switch powers, herd man-eating alien cats and try...

Special effects wizard Douglas Trumbull hoped to bring his mind-bending 2001: A Space Odyssey visuals down to earth with Brainstorm, a 1983 sci fi thriller starring Christopher Walken and Natalie Wood. Unfortunately Wood’s tragic death by drowning cast a pall over the film, delaying its release and resulting in a muddled narrative and baffling special effects sequences that failed to live up to Trumbull’s lofty ambitions along with any hope of box office redemption. Join Sebastian and Troy as...

Russell Crowe returning to the historical epic genre at the peak of his post-Gladiator fame would seem a sure bet in 2003, and yet Peter Weir’s Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World met with a tepid box office response upon its maiden voyage. Despite being an exquisitely crafted adaptation of the beloved Patrick O’Brian novels and garnering several Oscars, the film failed to launch the hoped for franchise — though appreciation has grown for it over the years, particularly with...

Probably no one would have predicted that in 2023 the duo behind Game Night would deliver the definitive cinematic take on the genre-defining TRS role playing game Dungeons & Dragons, and yet John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein’s Honor Among Thieves managed that seemingly impossible task. But despite a great cast, a clever and funny script and blockbuster level production values, the film failed to conjure magic at the box office. Join Sebastian and Richard as they roll the dice...

The late 90s saw horror in a transitional phase, and while the trend was favoring the post-modern tact of Scream, many filmmakers were taking their end-of-the-millennium angst to the stars. Despite being arguably the best of the spacefaring bunch, Paul W.S. Anderson’s Event Horizon failed to conjure excitement with critics and quickly fell into a box office black hole. Join Sebastian and Rodney as they grapple with the vacuum of space, open a portal to hell and debate the merits of this Alien...

In the wake of the meteoric success of Star Wars (and several decades before owning the franchise) Disney tried their hand at big budget space adventure with The Black Hole. But despite boasting impressive special effects and a promising premise, the movie’s dark tone, haunted house shenanigans and muddled science left audiences drifting in a void of indifference. Join Troy and Sebastian as they grapple with questionable physics, proverb pontificating robots and the far out ending to one of...

After acquiring Lucasfilm in 2012, Disney was banking big on a 5th installment of the beloved and lucrative Indiana Jones franchise. After years of development and the passing of the torch from original director Steven Spielberg to the capable James Mangold, Harrison Ford — now in his late 70s — agreed to don the whip and fedora for one last adventure. Unfortunately the resulting Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny bombed hard at the box office to the tune of an estimated 100 million dollar...

The first superhero film to emphasize Latino representation, Angel Manuel Soto's Blue Beetle was so well received by Warner Brothers executives that it was spared a straight-to streaming fate and awarded a theatrical release. But despite the presence of Cobra Kai's Xolo Mariduena, Latino comedian Geoge Lopez and Susan Sarandon in the villain role, the movie could not escape the DCEU death knell and fared poorly at the box office. Join Sebastian and Blue Beetle superfan Matt Anderson as they...

Despite being released a mere six months after the hit western Tombstone, Kevin Costner was confident that his telling of the Wyatt Earp story, with director Lawrence Kasdan in tow, would be the definitive take on the legendary lawman. But the film’s epic length and self-serious tone met with tepid critical reception despite strong performances, and roped in a disastrously small take at the box office, resulting in the first in a string of Costner-fronted mega bombs. Join Sebastian and...

Trick or treat motherf**ker! After the triumphant return of Jamie Lee Curtis and the cathartic killing of Michael Myers in 1998’s H20, there was nowhere to go but down. Unfortunately, Rick Rosenthal’s 2002 follow-up failed to meet even the lowest of fan expectations with an ignominious death for Laurie Stride, a terrible Blair Witch inspired premise and a karate kicking Bustah Rhymes. Join Sebastian and the Mighty Peculiar podcast’s Matt Anderson as they investigate this rotten pumpkin of a...

Though not a hit upon release, Frank Darabont’s adaptation of Stephen King’s The Shawshank Redemption was a beloved classic by the mid aughts, so hopes were high that the director’s post Green Mile return to King territory with 2007’s The Mist would deliver. And though critics were kind to the bleak, apocalyptic creature-fest, audience reaction and box office numbers were decidedly lukewarm. Join Troy and Sebastian as they gaze into a whole new dimension in terror and celebrate the sweet...

Sports movies enjoyed a renaissance in the 90s, so it was all but inevitable that by the year 2000 rising superstar Will Smith would get his shot at starring in one. Unfortunately, The Legend of Bagger Vance, directed by Robert Redford and co-starring Matt Damon and Charlize Theron, weathered criticism for its liberal use of problematic racial tropes and failed to generate boffo box office or the awards season heat it was clearly swinging for. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Greatest Games Never...

Hopes were high for bringing DC comics’ preeminent scarlet speedster to the big screen, and the addition of Michael Keaton — returning to the role of Batman — only added fuel to the pre-release hype. But a deeply troubled leading man and countless delays decelerated the excitement, resulting in one of the biggest box office flops of the 2023 blockbuster season. Join Sebastian and DC superfan Matt Anderson as they reckon with the the failure of the DCEU, the toxic effect of Ezra Miller’s...

Before landing the job of running the revamped DC cinematic universe, auteur James Gunn jumped ship from Marvel to direct The Suicide Squad, a sequel to the 2016 film of (almost) the same name. Bringing with him his unique blend of twisted heart and humor, as well as a penchant for D-list comic book characters, Gunn’s film landed well with fans but suffered serious casualties at the box office. Join Sebastian and Jennifer on a mission to celebrate all things Gunn, consider why the film...

The original Speed was a huge hit that cemented Keanu Reeves as an action hero and made a star of Sandra Bullock, so naturally the studio and director Jan de Bont were eager to get the band back together for the sequel. But Keanu didn’t return, leaving Sandy to shoulder Speed 2: Cruise Control with replacement Jason Patric, new villain Willem Dafoe and a questionable terrorist plot involving a not very fast moving cruise ship, resulting in one of the 90s’ biggest blockbuster bombs....

Despite the fact that the door seemed to be closed on the Indiana Jones series, creators George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, along with star Harrison Ford, decided to don the iconic hat and whip for a fourth entry with 2008’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And while the film was financially successful, fans roundly rejected its central saucermen conceit, the addition of Shia LaBeouf as Indy’s son Mutt, and the overuse of questionable CG. With a fifth film in theaters...

Horror remakes were all the rage by the mid 2000s, so a remake of the seminal folk horror classic The Wicker Man was all but inevitable. Armed with a crazy Nic Cage performance and seasoned indie director Neil LaBute at the helm, the 2006 reimagining was set to catch fire at the box office but fizzled instead, failing to justify its hefty 40 million dollar budget. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Troy as they travel to Summer’s Isle to reevaluate this much maligned effort and sacrifice their...

H.G. Wells’ tale of genetic tampering had been adapted for the big screen before Richard Stanley attempted it again in 1996, but never before had a version gone so horribly awry. Plagued by misbehaving stars Val Kilmer and Marlon Brando, Stanley himself being fired and replaced by veteran director John Frankenheimer, and numerous onset mishaps, the production would live in infamy for its wildly troubled evolution, one that resulted in a monstrous mess of a finished product. Join Sebastian and...

The stardom of both Henry Cavill and cannibal fetishist Armie Hammer was on the rise in 2015, making it the perfect time to team them up in a buddy spy movie directed by Guy Ritchie. But despite a solid effort, a groovy 60’s period setting and the always beguiling Alicia Vikander, this re-imaging of the cult TV show cried uncle at the box office. Join special agents Sebastian and Matt as they crack the code behind the Man from U.N.C.L.E.’s failure.

Val Kilmer was riding high as a leading man in 1997, so it made sense that he’d try his hand at establishing his own globetrotting espionage role. Sadly the resulting reimagining of the 60s British TV sensation The Saint turned out more Boring Identity than Bond, torpedoing a potential franchise and setting Kilmer’s career into a funk from which it never fully recovered. Join Sebastian and Matt as they don multiple disguises and crack the code on cold fusion to unravel this convoluted and...

The Scream franchise may have been dormant for over ten years, but hopes were still high for Wes Craven and company’s 2011 remake-era reboot, Scream 4. But despite returning stars Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox and David Arquette, as well as a promising new cast, the film failed to scare up significant returns at the box office. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney as they go over the rules and are menaced by Ghostface in discussing this unfairly maligned outing.

Based on the beloved Nintendo side scroller, the 1993 live action Super Mario Bros. movie was poised to prove the viability of video games making the jump to the big screen. Sadly, despite boasting the talents of Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Samantha Mathis and Dennis Hopper, as well as big budget special effects, the film laid a dinosaur-sized egg at the box office and left audiences baffled by what they had watched. Join Sebastian and Steve as they dodge barrels, take magic mushrooms and...