We believe that overcoming blocked care is best in community. In this episode, we explore the power of community and compassion in the journey of foster care and adoption. Kayla North generously shares her experiences of blocked care and how support, self-care, and practical strategies can lead to resilience and healing. They also talk about how mom's found hope through attending Reclaim Compassion book clubs last summer. Ryan and Kayla North are a dynamic husband-and wife duo who have...

Lisa and Amber Reynolds (our Director of Communications) chat about the challenges of parenting a young child struggling with mental illness. Amber shares candidly about what she wishes she had done differently, how her son's mental illness affected her health, and how she's overcoming blocked care. As an Enneagram 8, Amber loves advocating well for all those in her care. She and her husband, Chris, have been foster parents for seven years and have three children through adoption. Click...

Generally, what we carry into our childhoods and throughout our adulthood is part of a wider series, even patterns, of behavior, traumas, and worldviews. In this workshop, Dr. Stoker will give a very brief overview of Family Systems theory. You will learn: * highlights for Family Systems theory * a narrative that will assist you in seeing systems more objectively * tools to heal and offer hope for those with whom you live and serve Dr. Andy Stoker (he/him) is married to Megan, and...

Foster care and adoption are full of ambiguous losses and disenfranchised grief. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa discuss the gap between expectations and reality which can lead to feelings of grief. They offer tangible practices, including writing, verbal processing, and bodywork. The importance of acknowledging and processing darker emotions such as sadness, anger, or resentment without judgment is emphasized. Lastly, they mention adapting these practices for children experiencing similar...

Rebekah Cook shares her experiences of fostering children of incarcerated moms through a ministry called Jonah's Journey. She emphasizes the importance of establishing a relationship with the biological parents and discusses the unique challenges and rewards of this type of foster care. Rebekah also touches on her struggle with blocked care and how she sought support and healing. Rebekah is a stay at home mom and former elementary school teacher who is passionate about loving and serving...

One of the signs of blocked care is isolation. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa chat about the importance of building supportive communities in virtual and real-life spaces. They recommend parents seek out and engage in safe, validating communities where they can discuss their challenges openly. All parents need to fill up their "relationship bucket" in order to maintain compassionate parenting. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Join Reclaim...

This week we answer listener questions such as: What resources would you recommend for Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)? Do you have any wisdom to share about parenting a teenager with borderline personality disorder? What if things don't get better? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links PDA Masterclass Melissa's Ted Talk on Redefining Success The Gap and the Gain Podcast  

Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD or they have a diagnosis but aren't sure what to do next. Last time Sandra explored the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. This week in Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD. Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She...

Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD, or they have a diagnosis but aren't sure what to do next. In Part 1 of this workshop, you will explore the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. In Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD. Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol...

Last year's reflection episode was a listener favorite, so we're back with another one! With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2023 we thought it would be fun to answer the following questions: * Describe a moment of clarity in 2023 * Name something that became newly important to you in 2023 * What is one new thing you want...

Kinship care, the full-time care of a child by relatives, comes with many added relationship dynamics and complexities. In this episode Nakole Wooley shares how they navigate the challenges of kinship care, and the importance of overcommunication and compassion in the process. Nakole and her husband, Brandon, have been married 15 years. They are raising six kids including three who joined their family through kinship care. She is a military veteran and a licensed master social worker in...

In this episode Angela Coston, the executive director of For the Sake of One, shares her journey as an adoptive and foster mom. She candidly discusses her experiences and challenges in parenting children with complex needs while being a community leader. Angela explains how being able to name blocked care helped her shed the shame that she was abnormal or a bad parent. She shares practical strategies that helped her overcome blocked care and highlights the importance of setting boundaries and...

Many children with early adversity have an overactive stress response that can create challenging behaviors. In this engaging workshop you will see compelling case studies, visuals, and research about the role of innate neurodevelopmental movements in healthy physical, mental, and social-emotional functioning. You will gain a new perspective about the importance of neurodevelopmental movements and how they can help with anxiety disorders; sensory issues; overwhelm; and fight, flight and...

Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion. You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s like your heart seems to have left the relationship. In this episode, we identify the ten signs of blocked care and how to overcome them. It is...

Every adoptee walks through life dealing with the loss of at least their first family, and each one will experience that loss with a different lens. This week, Suzanne Stabile joins Lisa and Melissa for a rich conversation about adoption, the Enneagram, mystery, and curiosity. Suzanne shares vulnerably about how she's dealing with the "adoption-shaped hole" in her life. As an internationally recognized Enneagram Master, Suzanne has conducted over 500 Enneagram workshops over the past 30...

Do you have a child who doesn't seem to be fully present? Perhaps it seems they're often daydreaming or in la-la land. This can be especially frustrating if they have trouble focusing at school or completing a task. In this workshop you'll learn: * the neurobiology of shutdown * how la-la land is protective * how to offer safety and connection Robyn loves cultivating deep, resonant connections with anyone who is up for it, and is especially fond of all the grown-ups in the world who...

This week we answer listener questions such as: * How do I prepare for every possible scenario and keep balance in our lives? * Why does our young adult reject us but show loyalty to practical strangers? * How do I help my spouse with blocked care? * How do I provide choices to a child who doesn't learn from poor ones? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links # 41: Mentally Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 11 most important...

Join Lisa as she talks with Amy J. Brown about the journey of parenting children with special needs. We talk about the moment she realized her children's challenges were going to change her life and family forever. We talk honestly about guilt and shame as adoptive moms, blocked care, and a practical exercise for moving from guilt to acceptance. Amy J. Brown is a writer, mentor, and co-host of the podcast, Take Heart. She is the author of the book The Other Side Of Special: Navigating the...

It's easy to get bogged down in big behaviors and forget to have positive interactions with your kids. TBRI® Nurture Groups provide a positive, attachment-rich environment that is imperative to helping your child increase their sense of felt safety while connecting and learning new skills for life. In this workshop, you will learn: * importance of Nurture Groups * six aspects of a Nurture Group * how to implement the components into your family Tristen McGhee is a certified Trust...

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. We couldn’t be happier to share this conversation with Melissa Corkum & Lisa Qualls of The Adoption Connection. We have long respected the work these two remarkable women are...

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. The authors of Reclaim Compassion and hosts of The Adoption Connection podcast, Melissa Corkum (Enneagram 7) and Lisa C. Qualls (Enneagram 3) join Suzanne Stabile and Joel on the...

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. Blocked Care is language identified by Jon Baylin & Dan Hughes which describes the experience whereby: Overwhelming stress in a parent’s nervous system can create this...

Our "What We Learned in 2022" episode got such great feedback that we decided to drop in with a mid-year reflections conversation. We spontaneously answered the questions: * What did you discover in the first half of the year? * Share something that's on your mind right now. * What is one thing you would like to learn this summer? These make great journal prompts or conversation starters with a friend. How would you answer them? Click here to download a transcript for this...

Abandoned at a young age, Stephanie wandered the war-torn countryside of Korea. Due to her bi-racial ethnicity, she was abused and violated in every way. She was adopted around the age of nine by David & Judy Merwin. Her parents surrounded her with "lavish love" and encouragement instead of consequences when she acted out during her childhood. They seemed to understand her behaviors came from a well of deep hurt and shame. A profound personal encounter with Jesus Christ enabled her to...