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"The day we finally hold ourselves accountable, rather than putting the blame on others, and come clean about our responsibilities, we unfetter ourselves from ravaging frustrations and fretting crankiness." - Erik Pevernagie, "the Unbearable Heaviness of Being"To get into the right frame of mind, it is important to understand the fundamentals about "blame" and "accountability". Blame happens when we are in a state of victimhood; we cannot face the pain of an experience so we blame something...

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Building resilience through awareness“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” – Steve Maraboli, “Life, The Truth, And Being Free”The Oxford Dictionary definition of resilience is, “The capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties.”. I would like to offer an additional definition, “the measurement between victimhood where you lack resilience, and empowerment, where you are resilient”, i.e. how resilient are you? As you slide from victimhood...

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Believing your own thoughts is the source of your suffering“Do you know the power of your words? When you tell yourself stories that aren’t true your unconscious mind believes them. Your beliefs also can make you sick. You curse yourself by repeating lies.” – Trish Taylor, “Yes! You Are Good Enough.”You may experience imposter syndrome in a variety of situations, mainly professional ones, but also in your personal life. This can cause you to feel inadequate, doubt yourself, and fear being...

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Happiness, do we attain or discover it?“True happiness is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose” – Helen KellerThe quote above, though deep in its perspective, raises a question; is happiness something innate or attained? In fact, does any of the emotions we experience already exist within us before the first time we experience it? I suppose it is similar in question as whether the chicken or the egg came first; we can’t really know. However, clear...

Integrity is a balancing act between who you are, who you want to be, could be and who society expects you to be.“I cannot, and will not, cut my conscience to fit this year’s fashion.” – Lillian HellmanLet’s start with the definition of integrity: “The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; the state of being whole and undivided.” Integrity is in the eye of the beholder, including our own of ourselves. The framework is set, in our reality construct, by society, community,...

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - Nicholas Janni, "Leader As Healer"In our conversation we learn to understand Nicholas' concept of Leader As Healer. He summarises it beautifully, "[Leaders] who has rejected the normalised version of reality, which is dominated by linear thinking. [It is a leader] who understands that we need to bring a unification of embodied experience, emotional connection, intuitive opening and a deeper...

The only win in a conversation is conquering yourself“Those who make conversations impossible, make escalation inevitable.” – Stefan MolyneauxCourageous conversations are, like other interactions, all about the participants internal process relating to how they perceive their input and output. Our ability to follow through with a courageous conversation without turning it into a combative conflict is determined upon our preparation. Like Dan Sullivan in the podcast, “Exponential Wisdom”...

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” - Ernest HemingwaySociety's approach to homelessness has traditionally been, crassly put, "you got yourself in to homelessness, now you prove that you want back into society.". This perspective has made it easy for society and us individually to ignore the homeless as humans and part of ourselves. It has also allowed us to ignore the responsibility that society and our communities bears in preventing this downward slope....

About Kevin: Kevin Blaushild is the Founder of I Love HR, helping HR Teams transform from being administrative and compliance-driven to being a value-add business partner. He believes the organization of the future is purpose-driven and people-centric, and require an HR function that advocates for purpose, people and culture. Before starting I Love HR, Kevin led a 15-person HR Team for a company with 850 employees and 40 locations. Prior to HR, he worked in Sales, Operations and IT. He...

“Yea, he who is a true king of men, will not say to himself, 'Lo! I am worthy to be crowned with laurels;' but rather will he say to himself, 'What more is there that I may do to make the world the better because of my endeavours?” ― Howard Pyle, The Story of King Arthur and His KnightsLeadership is more thank just showing up being the boss. It is about leading the way towards growth and evolvement. A leader is a role model in their community. Charitable leadership is not about being...

The value of your experience lies not in the experience itself, but in your perception of it“The Eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” – Robertson Davis, “Tempest-Tost”Whatever you decided your reality is, you are right. It is the perception of your experiences that is your reality, not the experience itself. Also, the external experience is an illusion insofar as it has no bearing on our perception, it is merely there to give us a reference point to experience ourselves,...

Shift your perspective on what relationships are“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is a reaction, both are transformed.” – Carl Gustav JungMost of us would limit the idea of relationships to the interaction between people, but the it is in fact defined as, “the way two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected”. Personally, I add to that list, “experiences”. The experience of a relationship is how we view...

Coping mechanisms are gateways to understanding what needs healing“Denial, perhaps, is a necessary human mechanism to cope with the heart aches of life.” – Richard Paul Evans, “The Christmas Box”Coping mechanisms are any tools and strategies we employ to deal with stress and/or trauma to help us manage our difficult emotions. They are strategies to shift us towards emotional equilibrium and balance. Coping mechanisms can be adaptive or maladaptive.  Examples of adaptive coping...

"Power in organisations is seen as a scarce commodity worth fighting for." - Frederic Laloux, "Reinventing Organizations""Shop floor operators craft the products; the CEO and staff at best serve to support them, at worst are costly distractions" Extract from the list of "assumptions" from FAVI S.A. as part of their self-management structure, taken from "Reinventing Organizations" by Frederic Laloux As humanity is exponentially waking up to the multidimensionally of us individually as well as...

What discovering disappointment has taught me“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” – William BlakeIn this article I am sharing my first person perspective on the healing process as I work through it from discovery, through observation, to healing. Disappointment comes out of attachment. If we aren’t attached to the outcomes of our experiences we would not end up disappointed. We can come up being disappointed with: lifepeopleanimalsplanetexperiencesourselves Much of...

Beware of your expectations and conditions“Kindness is nota business. true kindness expects nothing in return and should never act with conditions.” – Roy T. Bennett, “The Light In The Heart”We place our expectations on ourselves and the world around us, many times without expressing or understanding these expectations; they become our conditions for our experiences. Are we even capable of unconditionality in our experiences? Unconditionality is a mindset that we develop based on our own...

Don't deceive yourself with positive illusions“Positive Illusions are unrealistically favourable attitudes someone has towards themselves, their experiences, or other people.”We find the concept of Positive Illusions first in Taylor and Brown’s paper from 1988 entitled, “Illusion of Wellbeing: A Social Psychological Perspective On Mental Health”. It is truly a fine line to balance between positive illusion and perception. In some aspects of the New Age movement there is the thought that all...