Covid-19 and Your Relationship 

In business, it’s totally acceptable, and recommended to see business consultant. I work as a consultant in the business world… sales, leadership, peak performance, mindset, game planning… I get hired to go into companies and share my expertise.   (Based on 35 years of working and consulting with companies around the globe)Business Consulting is an accepted practice - Normal - Expected - ProgressiveExample:  You’re a president, CEO or even VP of sales… and you want to improve the performance...

Episode 43: The LEAD Measure... How to Get MORE of what you want.In business, experts talk about working on the lead measure to increase sales. For instance, a life insurance company often times sets it’s accountability or measurement piece on what’s called the LEAD measure, not the result.  For instance, to determine if the life insurance rep will his or her quota, they often times measure the “meetings” or "appointments" with the “qualified family” vs measuring the actual sales...

Episode #43: Married and LonelyJennifer reads post:  (Being lonely within marriage with hopes of being seen and heard)Examples: Two Examples of friendsThree Elements of a Successful RelationshipPositivityConsistencyVulnerabilityConsistency is usually taken care of with the context of marriage or relationship so it is always the vulnerability or positivity that will be lacking. There are two times you can fix this - In the beginning of your relationship AND after you’ve been in it for any...

Making relationships EASY… or as Easy as possible.  People get caught up in “moments” when ppl act a certain way: Maybe they are dismissive, or distant...non-responsive.Often times we IMMEDIATELY think… it’s US or “They are such a jerk.”We are all humanWe are all going through somethingTwo of the FOUR AGREEMENTS: (Don Miguel Ruiz)Don’t Take Anything PersonallyDon’t Make Assumptions. Don’t Take Anything Personally - Easier said than done.It’s a skill that you practiceLife long...

Episode #25: Investing in Your Success We Talk about business.  When businesses are stagnant, they are neither growing or declining… In relationships, if we are not engaged, talking, connecting, we are becoming stagnant, and like a business… will not grow.  In relationships… staying in a state of stagnation, will lead to disengagement and disinterest.Companies that are moving forward are always innovating… moving forward.  The same thing in a marriage.  Simple end of day with partner… how was...

Episode #39 How to Ask for What You WantAgain - different individuals with different upbringings and different models of the world.Some ppl don’t know how to ask for what they want… and it causes challenges… b/c they complain or place blame rather than simply asking.Almost a covert, passive aggressive manner… and often times don’t even know it. Examples: My Mom:  I’m so tired of this hospital food all-day everyday….  My sister, who has turned her life upside down attempting to make my mom...

Episode #37: Relationship Myths Continued #2Closure is Essential: Erica McCurdy, a certified master coach informed me, "Closure is overused and rarely gives either side the answers and mental rest that the client imagines it will. We often want closure when we have failed to address a situation at the time it took place. Because we have allowed time to pass, we have stewed, anguished, agonized over unimportant issues until they have grown into something much bigger than they ever needed to...

Episode #37:  How to Keep the Relationship HOT The Relationship AcceleratorYOU married your partner or in a relationship with our partner for specific reasons:What are they?  Hot? Loving? Caring? Sexy? Great Father? Responsible? So how about letting them know?  People tend to communicate/let people know early in the relationship.People need reinforcementif you don’t give it to them… someone else will.Action Steps:  Use positive languageCompliment for things you married them for/or are with...

Episode #36: Carpe Diem The Show Black Mirror show Recap… Potential situations of the show:First Date sucks… are the app say for 5 years/10 yearsFirst Date Great… app says together for 3 weeks.   In the episode… the date went so well, they didn’t want to look Using Similar Psychology…If you didn’t know how long you would be with your current partner, how would you treat him/herIf you didn’t know how long you would be with him/him when you got together, would it have made a difference in how...

Episode #35 Q&A #2 Devin - Kennesaw, GAHey guys… love your podcast, and I am watching your podcast with my wife on Sunday mornings. She introduced it to me, reluctantly I might add. Sorry to say. I really liked it though. So we listen to it together which has been great. My question is: my wife works full time, as do I.  I wish she would cook more. After work, she says she’s too tired and then picks up some take out and we often times eat out of a bag at the kitchen table. That’s ok...

Episode 34: Don’t Make AssumptionsMind Reading - and NLP term that simply says how we “read someone’s mind” about what they are going to do or how they are going to respond.It’s easier said than done…Friends of ours...Making assumptions of why, what he is thinking, and what he is going to do when she approaches him.This person felt:Business example:  Email that was sent out and there was no response:Assumptions:You don’t like what I saidYou don’t want to participateYou’re being selfish by not...

Episode 33:  Level Up Your Leadership SkillsLeadership skills are paramount to grow a business. If you were going to hire someone to help you grow your business, what type of skills would you want?Go ahead and write down 3 characteristics of a great leaders.  Leaders in business:  Do what you say you’re going to do.Make Decisions that are for the greater good.Good Listener - When NecessarySense of BalanceHonestGood CommunicatorHas a Game planNot Being afraid to Tell the truth.Dan:  Phil...

Episode #32: Great Relationships are Messy, Just Like Great Sex Our Relationship is as STRONG as it’s ever been, yet it had to get a little messy first.Even though we knew how to communication and ways to connect, life takes over sometimes. Jennifer Story -  being afraid going through disease…Habits were formed…If you’re upset at how you are being treated by your partner, you’re partly at fault.People think when you find the love of your life… things will be perfect.  And when things aren’t...

Episode 39: Monthly Goals for ConnectionMarriage is a complex situation surrounded by moving parts that impact multiple areas of the relationship… and with kids, careers and everyday life, having a simple FUNDAMENTAL resource to help us win is both imperative and enjoyable.You hear people talk about date night…  and what that really is, is an ACTION strategy to keep us connected and interact outside of our family business.Think about it -  Most of us have multiple facets to our...

Episode 30: Marrying for Money or LoveFirst of all, yes, you can do both. You can have both money, love AND happiness… you can have it all. Jennifer, I want to interview you today… this is a topic that will be of interest both to women who are in the dating market… and men who are wondering if they can find the right woman for them. So let me set this up: MONEY vs Love  Two parts here:  1st part:  From the female perspective:You are attractive, intelligent, fun… a laundry list of positives…...

Episode #36: Relationship Myths Talking about Common Bad Advice given by relationship experts… and we’re going to discuss it. Don’t Go to Bed AngryAmy Serin, co-founder and Chief Science Officer of The TouchPoint Solution who holds a PhD in clinical psychology, believes otherwise.She told me, "Never go to bed angry is bad advice because many couples think they need to force themselves to try to resolve problems immediately to get them over with before bedtime. This can backfire because if one...

Episode #28 Q & A #1 Q & A Cindy from Denver:I just love your podcast and how you both communicate with one another with love and mutual respect. How can I get my husband to be more respectful when we communication Yolanda - Orlando, FLMy fiancee and I are planning our wedding and we’re having difficulties coming to an agreement on what type of wedding we want.  I want a more traditional wedding and he simply wants to share our vows and basically have a party. We are just getting...

Episode #27: The 5 Stages of Marriage... and a Business1. Romance 2. Reality - Chemical changes from oxytocin… then the little things can annoy you.Messy bathroomBeing ShortThe NORMALness of life. Bills, kids, challenges.3. Resentment - Resentment builds without the Power of Conversation. (can of soda)4. Rebellion - Is what happens if you DON’T deal with Resentment. Shopping too muchNot coming home right away.DrinkingOut with FriendsCheating5. Renewal/Restoration - Always begins from the...

Episode #33: Do the Work, Just don’t Talk About ItWe see people talking about what they are going to do or what they should do in the areas of personal development and religionPeople talk about change but they don’t really do itSecondary gain - they get to complain and talk about how dramatic their life is yet they get to talk about how much they know. A need for recognition - instead of actually live it, they just talk about itThe problem with that is, (at first, the person is awesome - but...

Episode #25  How to get the PASSION back into the RelationshipFirst of all… we are all human and we have challenges, issues, and everyday circumstances that lead us to shift our focus to what’s most important NOW.The most common things that “move” us apart:Job stress - high levels of stress, high number of hours Life Changes:Medical situationsDeath in familyNew member of the familyKidsBoth parties can feel it. The key is to ACT NOW rather than later.   Action StepsTalk about it. Decide what...

Episode #23: How to Tame Your Man Changing Behavior - Adjusting BehaviorTwo ppl from two different worldsNever come at or attack your man for something he’s done. (Push - Push back)Adjusting behavior slowly but surely:  HOW.Shaping behavior - SkinnerAcknowledge Small wins (too many ppl only recognize the “wrongs”)Know it’s gonna take some time - Patience & Grace Frame question in a curiosity frame vs accusatory tone - Come from a place of loveSoftenersBecause I care about our...

Episode #24: Through Sickness & HealthIn business… things go bad as well… a recession, a set back, a recall, a lawsuit.Magical words from a traditional marriage vow.Just met the woman of my dreams… December 2009 - Trip to Vail: A-Fib5 Years of declining health - Coronary Ablation in Oct, 20142 Years of extreme sicknessDiagnosed with Amyloidosis in April of 2017 2.5 years of chemo, doc visits, and issues.  How to get through it - ACTION STEPSAccepting the situation as REAL right...

Episode 21:  Kids and Divorce #2 - My Daughter ZoëMy wife and I were divorced when my daughter Zoë was nine years old. She was our youngest. Zoë had some challenges along the way... and now she's 21 years old, and we are going to talk about her journey.Zoë - 9 yrs oldDid you know we were having problems… Your thoughts… psychologySo I told you….   How did you feel…innocence/denialIt happened?emotionally? Challenges in High School: Gorman, Coronado, Beacon academy Relationship with...