BRAP BRAP! What's going on, Internet? Oh boy, do we have a story -- it's about a nonsense podcast that has run for nearly the length of a full U.S. primary education (with, come to think of it, pretty equivalent educational standards and pay for the teachers). But now, it is the proverbial graduation ceremony, which means it's time to get day-drunk on hobo liquor one last time with your favorite goofball hosts in this three-hour spectacular. Before we put the button back in cold storage, we...

Gadzooks! After more than 11 years of this nonsense horseplay, we're finally putting the ol' button back under the protective glass and pretending to go about our lives as well-respected adults who have it all figured out.  Yes, the Comedy Button is coming to a close with our final episode, coming to you at the end of February/beginning of March/something like that. We've got all the details right here in this mini-episode, so if you don't want to go through life confused and bewildered...

We manage to introduce the show three different times thanks to the dumb Internet turning off. In part 1, Kristin tells us about her new acting career. Then in part 2, after we lose Kristin, we get lost on some tangent about bumper stickers. Finally, in the epic conclusion, Kristin makes her surprise return and we learn about TikTok haircut culture, hear about a motel that Harry Styles might have banged out in, and go on a wild 1990s movie marathon. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan...

Ryan blows no one's mind with Laff-A-Lympics lore, we learn all about the thin and colorful lines that dumb people put on flags, we do our annual check-in on terrible candy, and we still have that dream about eating a cheese pizza in an airport limo. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

The Comedy Button presents: A New Year's PSA to clean up your dog's poop. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin shares her birthday plans, we learn George Jetson facts, Ryan gets UM ACTUALLY'd, and we learn about all the times Kristin laughed at some dumb stuff. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We learn about Pilates, revisit some of the worst sounds on this show, share some George Washington facts, reveal our most-desired cartoon injuries, and offer up some parenting advice. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Ryan attempts to turn this into an ASMR podcast (with horrifying results), Max has a Tim Dolphin update, Scott loves him some Tay Sway, and we collectively discover the dumbest bears, the worst Etsy listings, and the pitfalls of Mystery Inc's business structure, in some of the worst radio we could possibly muster. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin tells us about her haunted private school, Max is the new hype man for upcoming YouTube star Tim Dolphin (be sure to stick around after the episode for a brief clip), Ryan is somehow starting to feel better about life, and we declare Renaissance Faire to actually be Renaissance Convention. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar. (And here's a convenient link to that Tim Dolphin song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv1ZK6fmjfc)

We bring you up-to-date on stupid candy just in time for Halloween, investigate where all the hotel bibles went, recount the Estevez brothers' many stupid ideas in life, and warmly reminisce about John Leguizamo's best movie. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We learn too much about America's Funniest Home Videos, reveal what we would do if we were talking dogs, figure out where the porn gets filmed, debate this year's this year's Halloween costumes, and recall our fondest food poisoning memories. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We talk about Waterworld more than anyone ever has, Brian nearly kidnaps a child by mistake, we ask too many questions about X-Men bathroom habits, and Kristin tells us about the world's most horrifying jewelry. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin goes to Medieval Times and Disneyland, Brian and Max go to Germany, Scott goes to Michigan through a newspaper, and Ryan talks less than he ever has in the history of this show. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Scott reports on his latest big dumb trip to Michigan, we learn way too much about fancy ice cream coffee desserts, Max holds a problematic film festival for himself, and Ryan discusses the oeuvre of Andy Sidaris. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We dunk on Scott since he's not here, and then Brian and Max tell us all about their stupid and terrible San Diego Comic-Con COVID-19 adventure. Three down, two to go! Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin is the first of us to go on a big COVID adventure, Brian remembers all of New Jersey's weird laws, and we get a bunch of movies with the same title mixed up. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

The Comedy Button curse strikes Great America! But we don't care, because half of us went on some really dumb vacations, and Brian learned that even homes in haunted swamps are unaffordable. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Evidently there are thumb truthers who believe that we only have eight fingers, so, that's a thing. Kristin also gets to tell us all about her trip to Spain, but not before Ryan derails the podcast for 15 minutes to dorksplain the country's most accomplished tennis player. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

We talk about all the Stranger Things, remember Paramount's old theme parks, catch up with a very fake Jonathan Taylor Thomas, imagine how many porno pizzas get delivered in New York, and discover some fake shared memories about the giant cartoon checks they used to hand out on TV. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We find another alternate Ryan Scott, discover Facebook's fake Brian Altano, weigh the use of ROFL in 2022, come up with some fun stuff to do in San Francisco (wrong answers only), and reveal our personal Hobbit tier lists. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

After a super-serious intro (not really), we rank the best ghost-hunting shows, learn about midwifery, listen to Kristin's pitch for a dating show, and run down some unfortunate college acronyms. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Kristin encounters a public porn-watcher and takes in some drunk Shakespeare, Brian joins the Stein Society, half the cast gets onboard with ad hoc parenting, and we answer a bunch of rapid-fire questions. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, Max Scoville, and Kristin Van De Yar.

Winamp still whips the llama's ass, the Great Gatsby is still pretty good, Willy Wonka is still very weird, and and Jared Leto still sucks. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.