It’s natural to want a loving connection with your own parents. When one or both of them have either abused or neglected you, and they continue to undermine and criticize you, it can be hard to know what to do when the parent who hurt you KEEPS hurting you. Even if you love them – even if you wish you could have a good relationship -- keeping them in your life can make it a LOT harder to heal. And after you go no-contact, and you still feel pain about not seeing them. In this video I respond...

*LIVE Webinar May 14. Recover Your Vision of The Life You Want: https://bit.ly/3ifhJ8U* *Do You Have CPTSD?* Take the QUIZ: http://bit.ly/3GhE65z FREE COURSE: *The Daily Practice*: http://bit.ly/3X1BrE0 Website: http://bit.ly/3CxgkRY *** Extreme neglect in childhood – where adults literally don’t care for you appropriately, can lead to a kind of emotional “leakiness” where -- even though you’ve created a good life and set goals as an adult, -- you feel disconnected from people when when they...

People who were emotionally or physically neglected, or literally abandoned in childhood often find themselves getting left by partners over and over again. The reasons feel mysterious when it's happening to you. But this is how CPTSD can damage your ability to form healthy relationships AND your perception about why this happens. In this video I explain common behaviors and thinking patterns that may be dooming your relationships from the beginning. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE...

Everyone knows that abuse and neglect in childhood can have negative effects on us as adults. But there's a taboo around admitting the damage we do to ourselves with our own trauma-driven behaviors. it's not your fault you were abused or neglected, and it's not your fault it left you prone to these common problems in life. But today, the only person who can change this pattern is you. In this 4-video compilation I teach about common self-defeating behaviors for people with CPTSD -- what they...

It’s easy to get sucked into terrible relationships with people who treat you badly, especially for people who were mistreated and neglected as children. You may find yourself with narcissists, manipulators, liars and people who just plain grind your spirits down. But so long as you stay hyper-focused on what’s wrong with THEM and what THEY did – the more you may come to see yourself as helpless – and the longer you may be participating in the sabotage of your own future. In this video I...

Romantic obsession with someone you can’t have is a sneaky, life-wrecking toxin – almost a drug that feels great at first and *seems* like if you could just have that person, your life would go from empty... to amazing. This "drug" treats pain. And the drug wears off, and next thing you know the “solution” you’ve found has just swept like a massive mudslide through everything good in your life. Can it ever be true that this *one* person you wanted but lost, is the missing element in your life...

If you look around all the friends and partners who you've led into your life and you discover there's kind of a high proportion of people who bring trouble and danger into your life --- guess what? Your red flag detector is broken. It's supposed to be sounding the alarm when when bad or dangerous people try to walk into your life. You're supposed to get a bad feeling -- an aversion to soul-sucking people and situations that are toxic for you. But for people with CPTSD, who were abused and...

Abuse and neglect in childhood can leave its mark on your ability to regulate your emotions. They come out too strong, causing you to lash out, burst into tears, panic or fall madly in love at an intensity that doesn't fit the circumstances. This is often the result of changes in children's developing brains. In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos on emotional dysregulation, and teach tips for how to recognize dysregulated responses before you damage...

Living through a traumatic childhood takes extraordinary survival skills. You shut down, act tough, dance around to make other people happy, even when it means losing yourself. Sometimes the pain of all you’ve been through doesn’t show up until after the trauma ends. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is reckoning with a lifetime of abuse that has now affected her children – and her emotional dysregulation with the first good partner she’s ever had. Try the FREE Daily...

Most of us who have ever had a relationship have fallen love, and most of us have also had someone not love us back. But what if you’re with someone who WANTS to be with you and loves you, but they say they don’t feel IN LOVE with yoU? What does this mean? And is there ever hope that their feelings will change? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is torn by pleas from her boyfriend to stay with him, even though he's not in love with her. Could he be "aromantic?" How to Tell...

Your Childhood PTSD symptoms have likely created a lifetime of problems in relationships -- choosing unavailable people, clinging to bad relationships or avoiding love altogether. But the reason you long for a real love -- a "great love" even -- is because you were born to love and be loved. How does a person move past the hurts of the past and learn, at last, to love? How To Prepare For a Great Relationship: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/43SH8aV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:...

People who lived through trauma in childhood often develop an "avoidant" attachment style, which can be hard for their partners who may crave reassurance, commitment, and frequent expressions of affection that don't come easily to avoidants. In this 4-Video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about being avoidant, dating an avoidant, when the avoidance is "too much" and how relationships can work when one partner is avoidant. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF...

Charming and powerful employers have a knack for tempting people who are desperate for a big break in their career. They can offer money, fame, and connections that you might never access again. But if the price is to operate a sexually charged and boundary-less environment, what is the real price of working for them? My letter today is from a woman whose longtime partner Sometimes the most creative, brilliant people are also the HARDEST to have in your life. They bring success, fame, money,...

t’s common in our culture for people to sleep together almost as soon as they meet. And people act like that’s fun and easy, and only foolish people can’t handle it, or think it should be avoided, in favor of something better. So for people who grew up neglected and abused, there’s a contradiction – their attachment wound is crying for someone to love them and STAY and not leave, but the culture of casual sex tells them this is too much to expect. This doesn’t heal until you face it for real,...

Trauma in childhood can leave with obvious problems, but also a subtle tendency to hide your authentic self, and to avoid reaching for big goals that are important to you. In this video I share common reasons why people who were abused in childhood will cope try to manage their vulnerability by playing small. I'll teach you strategies to gradually step forward and big "bigger," braver and more true to who you are and what you want in life. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download:...

Limerence is the name for an obsessive infatuation that becomes more like an addiction to someone who cannot or will not be with you. It's especially common in people who were emotionally neglected as children, who will often go to any lengths to avoid losing HOPE that their love may someday be returned. They will pretend to be a friend, and lie about their true feelings, knowing on some level that disclosing the truth would instantly end the other person's willingness to spend time together....

No matter how much you pull yourself together after a childhood full of abuse and neglect, the injury of trauma will TRY to suck you back into horrible dynamics of your childhood without you even realizing it. Your trauma-driven thinking will like to you that a clearly bad situation will be different "next time." In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who is thinking about reconciling with an abusive husband, for all the wrong reasons. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF...

There are two terrible ways that self-centered parents can wound you in the way you have relationships – and in particular, when they didn’t take an interest or support the unique little person that you were, and they didn’t help you learn to detect and say NO to mistreatment. And if this happened to you, you may find yourself struggling to have friends, and when you do get a friend, you’ll tolerate terrible treatment from them – and end up believing it’s your job is to hide that it hurts...

If you've tried to get help for problems related to Childhood PTSD, you've probably tried many approaches to healing, and chances are, none of them really worked. In this video I teach about common approaches to healing childhood trauma, and the big reason why only some of them are effective. Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send...

Growing up poor, abused or neglected can leave you struggling in adulthood to develop a good career and earn what you are worth. In this 4-video compilation I share four of my most popular videos about trauma, work and income, and how people with Childhood PTSD can heal and grow their career lives and achieve financial security. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or...

The irony about a codependent person is that, while they’re focusing excessively on someone else, they’re actually absorbed in themselves. And one sign that someone is codependent toward you CAN BE that you feel VERY irritated and invaded by a loved one’s excessive focus on you. They hover, they get in your business; it feels impossible to have boundaries around them. They say it’s just because they love you but Something feels OFF. Sometimes codependency is an urge to fix you – but sometimes...

Not all childhood trauma comes in the form of neglect or physical abuse. One of the most insidious forms of trauma is when parents brainwash children to override their own common sense – to ignore what their eyes and ears tell them, to live in fear, and to live under the constant threat of ostracization for breaking an impossible set of rules. In this video I respond to a woman who has mostly extricated herself from an abusive religious cult, but is still mentally trapped by in a belief she...

Fear is an inner obstacle that stands between you and all you hope to do, or have or become. I’m talking about “fear” in the broadest sense – an anxiety, or an inhibition inside that stops you from freely living and authentically: Instead, you doubt yourself. You feel mortified every time you say what you really think. You stay small. Yet there is so much nonsense out there about what fear is -- but very little that teaches you how. In this video I'll teach you exactly how to get free of...

Having a few good friends is a great blessing in life. But if you grew up with trauma, you may have had trouble finding and keeping friendships with people you love and respect. This is partly because of abuse and neglect can harm your sense of feeling connected -- and partly because people with CPTSD can't always see the red flags that uncaring "friends" are mistreating them. In this 4-video compilation I share some of my most popular videos about upgrading your friendships. How to Be a...