Welcome to S03E02: the poetry, fake your own death, embezzlement, Cluedo, Persian rug, DNA test, boating reprise episode of The Brokenwood Mysteries, featuring homosexualism, St Judas church and Amelia and Rebecca's friend's brother as a grave digger. If you knew you were going to die, would you pre-record yourself reading a poem to play at your funeral, or would you get the local florist to do it for you? If you ran a funeral home, would you let a coffin slide out of a hearse onto the...

It's been a rough week for Amelia and Razz, with sickness, technological issues, failing to acquire 'very legal DVDs' of Brokenwood Season 3 and being negged in the New Zealand books media, but the gals are back and focussed on the only thing that really matters: S03E01 The Black Widower. Ray Nielson is more than just the proprietor of the Frog & Cheetah, he's also the owner-operator of Ray's Tours: a knock-off Lord of the Rings tour company that swindles non-English speaking tourists...

Howdy y'all, it's the country music episode and Amelia. . . is having an existential crisis about being a podcaster during humanity's downfall. Luckily Razz is here to move her swiftly along into what really matters: the Season 2 finale 'Blood Pink'.  Mike Shepherd's favourite country music star Holly Collins has been found dead in a motel bathtub holding an electric guitar. Her boyfriend Waylon Strings has gone missing. The bassist Slim Fingers has gone missing. The tour manager Keith has...

Is The Frog & Cheetah your favourite aspirational podcast, but you wish it had more detailed information about the duties of New Zealand fisheries officers ? Well, well, well! In S2E3 'Catch of the Day', Jared's gone out for a surf at Brokenwood Beach and found a severed hand in a crayfish pot. It's pointing at him like Des the Devil used to point at him before his fishing boat blew up five years ago. Could these incidents be. . .related? The cray pot does have a 66 on it, which we all...

Guess who's back in the house, it's Amelia and Rebecca, here to bathe in the soft wisdom of the English language's greatest poet – Detective Senior Sergeant Mike Shepherd. All the world's a stage and all the men, women, asthmatics and asexual people of Brokenwood are merely players. But what, ho! Did someone say the name of the Scottish play in the theatre? In S02E02, To Die or Not to Die, a 21-year-old orphan has died all over the stage during an amateur production of Hamlet. And not from...

Ho ho ho it's Christmas! And don't you want to have Christmas on Brokenwood Island?  In today's Very Special Episode, Amelia and Rebecca read out some Brokenwood-based holiday fanfiction for your listening pleasure. Why is it snowing in Brokenwood? Will Kristin and Breen kiss in a cloud of weed smoke on New Year's Eve 2005, or will the lavender deodorant be too off-putting? Also, Rebecca relays a tragic story about a high school performance of Titus Andronicus and Amelia thinks that it's...

Content Warning! This episode of Brokenwood Mysteries contains transphobia and suicide.  Audio Warning! Rebecca's microphone was not recording. This episode contains laptop audio. We reach the Mariana Trench of Brokenwood episodes this week with S02E01 Leather and Lace – a tale that combines the topical 2015 Rugby World Cup with a horrible hate crime.  The Brokenwood Cheetahs have lost fifty games in a row and now their coach has been found murdered. Was it one of Mrs Marlowe's cheese...

Load up on guns, bring your friends: as Season One draws to a close, we set our sights on the unexpectedly tyre-focussed S01E04 Hunting The Stag. It's all gone wrong in the lead-up to gun enthusiasts Kelly and Hayden's wedding, but who shot the groom with such precision, in a gully Amelia and Rebecca do not remember the name of? And why does everyone work at the Brokenwood Tyre Centre now? Listen in to find out all the latest in Brokenwood action, including Mike's trip to the bakery, whether...

Head on down to Golf Club Inc. as Amelia and Rebecca take a swing at Playing the Lie, Brokenwood's most golf-based episode. Traipse around the green with them as they try to decipher this odd and meandering episode (which still slaps), in the process creating their own odd and meandering podcast (which might also slap).  Topics include: crimes against bees, the mighty Vodafone Warriors, whether women can be farm managers, whether Amelia still has a chance to become a sulky teen, friendship...

After Episode One's uncanny approximation of Brokenwood, S01E02 Sour Grapes comes through with a classic TBM tale of viticulture vitriol. And thank God, real Jared is here to lead the way.  Also, a bit of a content warning for this one as we discuss the characters' terrible hot takes on autism. Looking at you Detective Sims. Topics discussed include: grapes, failed ambitions, Boxcar by Jawbreaker, Art v Science,  Doctors v Scientists, what's au fait in commercial radio, when is a spade a...

Rebecca and Amelia start at the beginning with S01E01 of The Brokenwood Mysteries, 'Blood & Water', in which a local farmer is blopped while enjoying a cosmic event on an unnamed rural bridge. Topics discussed include lamp collecting, female aviation, crunch time, blind rage, panel beating, the definition of an amphitheatre and Tanya's Mysterious Accent. Sponsored by the Brokenwood Courier.