Are footballers stupid? Why do footballers cut holes in their socks? And how to write a match report in 2 minutes. Martin Samuel, Jonathan Northcroft, Gregor Robertson and Tom Clarke discuss the dark arts of football and sports writing. On the pitch they were exemplified by Porto on Tuesday night. But what are the dark arts of the press box? How do writers produce a piece when the result turns around in the final minutes?  Martin recounts the Nou Camp in 99’ – from “Poor old Fergie gets his tactics wrapped around his neck..." to "Arise Sir Alex!…” And facing a deadline, Jonny McNorthcroft found himself hoping Scotland didn’t score. Gregor had a surprising response to his article on ‘Why do footballers cut holes in their socks?’ Which led to another question - are footballers stupid? Finally – its FA cup weekend. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.