This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, the world’s largest therapy platform. Visit http://BetterHelp.com/WhatsUnderneath today to get 10% off your first month. Schuyler Bailar, influential athlete, author, educator, and vocal LGBTQ+ advocate, shares his transformative journey. As the first publicly documented NCAA D1 transgender man to compete as a man in any sport, Schuyler's story is at the forefront of the debate on trans athletes in college sports. Assigned female at birth, Schuyler opens up about the internal struggle he faced in accepting his own boyhood, initially associating masculinity with harmful behaviors​​. He offers candid insight into the performance of masculinity, highlighting how many boys and men seek validation solely within the male gaze, rooted in a desperate need for belonging. A gifted swimmer, Schuyler's passion and talent have been constant through his journey of self-discovery. He provides an intimate look at locker room dynamics, offering a unique perspective on male bonding rituals and the quest for peer validation. His decision to join Harvard’s men's swim team, after being initially recruited for the women's team, was more than a sports headline. This choice was the first statement of his personal truth, and also marked a significant moment in sports history, challenging norms and sparking discussions on inclusivity in athletics.  Schuyler's story is a testament to the strength of character and authenticity, demonstrating how embracing one’s true identity can be a powerful tool for challenging and redefining societal norms. What’s Underneath: Masculinity is Man Enough’s series in partnership with StyleLikeU with new episodes every Thursday. Watch shorter video episodes: http://YouTube.com/StyleLikeU  Man Enough Podcast episodes will continue every Monday.  IN THIS EPISODE:  (05:08) Feeling like an other, sports as a “girl on a boy’s team” (07:16) First relationship to gender (10:00) Being perceived as a cis man and erasure of trans identity (21:19) Experiencing misogyny as a man vs woman; empathy for men (32:34) Swim team, mental health, eating disorder (35:13) Rehab, discovering trans identity (46:01) Top surgery (51:23) Joining Harvard men’s swim team vs women’s (54:01) Men’s locker rooms; calling men in (1:07:14) What does it mean to be “man enough”? SCHUYLER QUOTATIONS: “My takeaway is that if I can call somebody in…if I can get a moment where I can actually talk to somebody and connect about an experience, there's actually real change to be had." “In the locker room, I'd see somebody tell a joke and immediately scan the room to see who else is going to respond and to give them validation...Those dynamics were so striking to me because I hadn't interacted with them in the same way before, and I hadn't been expected to participate in them either...I think that was the most terrifying moment, when I realized I had a desire to engage in the behaviors, because I had spent so long thinking all these things were horrible…Do I engage so that I can belong or stand by my values and risk belonging?” FOLLOW SCHUYLER BAILAR:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pinkmantaray  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@pinkmantaray  Site: https://www.pinkmantaray.com/  Book, HE/SHE/THEY: https://www.pinkmantaray.com/he-she-they  FOLLOW MAN ENOUGH:  Instagram: http://instagram.com/wearemanenough   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wearemanenough   Facebook: http://facebook.com/WeAreManEnough  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/wearemanenough  Newsletter: https://manenough.com/newsletter  FOLLOW STYLELIKEU:  Instagram: http://instagram.com/stylelikeu  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stylelikeu   Facebook: http://facebook.com/stylelikeu  YouTube: http://YouTube.com/StyleLikeU Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices